Correction de texte S.V.P.

[English'MS]

Bonjour à tous, alors voilà mon texte j'aurais besoin de vous pour corriger les éventuelles erreurs et m'aider si besoin à améliorer mon texte. 

Merci d'avance! Bonne lecture!

 

INTRO

Today I will tell you about my experience volunteering at an orphanage in Casablanca.
Why volunteer? How do I become a volunteer? What benefits have I retained from this experience?
I volunteered for three weeks with AL IHSSANE, an orphanage in Casablanca, Morocco. So I’m going to introduce you to this association and the various things I’ve been able to do.

M&M
The AL IHSSANE Association is a non-profit, non-political volunteer association whose honorary president is Her Royal Highness Princess Lalla Hasnaâ.
She manages the Lalla Hasnaâ Children’s House, the only structure in Casablanca that accommodates babies and children without families, from birth to school age (6 years).
Every year, a hundred children arrive at the Children’s House. Most of these are abandoned infants, lost children or young children whose parents find themselves in situations which do not allow them to care for them; and among these children are also physically or mentally handicapped.

Since its creation, the Association AL IHSSANE has worked to welcome these children in the best possible conditions, to enable them to live with dignity and as “normally” as possible, while being cared for, educated and accompanied.

RESULTS

During these three weeks of volunteering I went to Morocco, where I have family, so that I could carry out my various missions at the orphanage. First of all, in order to be able to volunteer within the orphanage, it is necessary to contact the orphanage by email or telephone. Once my application was accepted, I was able to start my various missions.
Once I arrived at the facility, I had the opportunity to meet staff: maternal assistants, cooks, supervisors, maintenance staff and many volunteers. There were about 20 volunteers and we were in the business of hosting singing, dance, painting, French classes. I was looking specifically at children between the ages of four and six. This experience has been very beneficial to me. Helping children, bringing them joy and laughter is wonderful!

DISCUSSION
So as you will have understood, I loved being a volunteer with this association! Everyone can help at their level, by volunteering with an association, by organizing crops of clothing, school supplies or food. Or simply by talking around you, in order to make the association known to a greater number of people.

CONCLUSION
To conclude, becoming a volunteer means being one of those who work to improve things, to be part of a cause that makes sense to me.
In my opinion, volunteering is not just about helping others. It is also to enrich oneself humanly by getting involved, with other volunteers, in actions that make sense.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Bonjour à tous, alors voilà mon texte j'aurais besoin de vous pour corriger les éventuelles erreurs et m'aider si besoin à améliorer mon texte. 

Merci d'avance! Bonne lecture!

 

INTRO

Today I will tell you about my voluntary work experience volunteering at an orphanage in Casablanca.
Why did I volunteer? How do did I become a volunteer? What benefits have I retained from this experience? <Tu fais part d’un vécu => prétérit.
I volunteered for three weeks with AL IHSSANE, an orphanage in Casablanca, Morocco. So I’m going to introduce you to this association and the various things I’ve been was able to do. <Idem, c’est passé, terminé, daté => prétérit.

M&M
The AL IHSSANE Association is a non-profit, non-political volunteer association whose honorary president is Her Royal Highness Princess Lalla Hasnaâ.
She manages the Lalla Hasnaâ Children’s House, the only structure in Casablanca that accommodates babies and children without families, from birth to school age (6 years).
Every year, a hundred children arrive at the Children’s House. Most of these them are abandoned infants, lost children or young children whose parents find themselves in situations which do not allow them to care for them; and among these children some are also physically or mentally handicapped.

Since its creation, the Association AL IHSSANE has worked to welcome these children in the best possible conditions, to enable them to live with dignity and as “normally” as possible, while being cared for, educated and accompanied.

RESULTS

During these three weeks of volunteering I went to Morocco where I have family relatives, so that I could carry out my various missions at the orphanage. First of all, in order to be able to volunteer within the orphanage, it is necessary to contact the orphanage by email or telephone. Once my application was accepted, I was able to start my various missions.
Once I had arrived at the facility, <La concordance des temps avec le pluperfect anglais se rend par le subjonctif imparfait français => Une fois que/Après que je fusse arrivée… I had the opportunity to meet the staff: maternal assistants, cooks, supervisors, maintenance staff and many volunteers. There were about 20 volunteers and we were in the business of hosting, singing, dance, painting, French classes. I was specifically looking at after children between the ages of four and six. <J’imagine que tu ne faisais pas que les regarder. This experience has been was very beneficial to me. Helping children, bringing them joy and laughter is wonderful!

DISCUSSION
So, as you will have understood, I loved being a volunteer with this association! Everyone can help at their level by volunteering with an association, by organizing crops of clothing, school supplies or food. Or simply by talking around you, in order to make the association known to a greater number of people.

CONCLUSION
To conclude, becoming a volunteer means being one of those who work to improve things, to be part of a cause that makes sense to me.
In my opinion, volunteering is not just about helping others. It is also to consists in enriching oneself humanly by getting involved with other volunteers in actions that make sense.

Même si tu as tendance à abuser de la virgule, ton anglais est correct et coule naturellement.

J’ai pris plaisir à te lire,  ce qui est plutôt rare ici crois-moi.

Bonne continuation.

 

 

[English'MS]

Bonjour,

Merci beaucoup pour les corrections et les remarques constructives que tu as apportées à mon devoir! 

(Je suis une fan de la virgule )

Bonne continuation JRB !