Projet Bac correction

[Shay33]

Bonjour à tous, pourriez vous corriger mon projet en Anglais que je devrais dire à l'oral s'il vous plais ? Merci d'avance  

 

Presentation of the theme and the problem 
1- Man-carried contamination 

The theme of our project is cosmetics. We decided to work on hand-borne contamination. Hand-borne contamination is the transmission of any germ by contact with the hands, because the hands are carrying pathogenic microorganisms present on the skin. This mode of transmission is the main cause of infections or illness. This mode of contamination allows the proliferation of germs and causes diseases. In the case of a potted cream and a daily use, the contamination is recurrent and important if there is no precaution taken by the user. Is our problem using a moisturizing cream with or without preservative harmful to our skin? 
In order to answer our problem, we will control the quality of 3 Nivéa product after use. We contaminated our 3 creams once a day by putting 2 finger in it uncleaned. We place our cream in a moist and dark place at room temperature, lid closed. 
Analyzes will be carried out every 7 days.  

2- Choice of creams 

First, we chose to test only the NIVEA moisturizer, but a problem has arisen with us regarding the excessive concentration of preservatives (citric acid) in this cream that would have distorted the final results. So we chose instead to make a negative control but to create two other creams made "home": a cream with natural preservative and another cream without preservative. For the creation of our house creams we have chosen an effective recipe with simple ingredients of acquisition .. The preservative that we used is a grapefruit seed extract because it is the most effective preservative. Moreover, it is natural and accessible. 

1- Manufacture and components of creams 
The choice of ingredients that make up our creams have been chosen for all types of consumers. Indeed we have sought to group the different needs into a cream to encompass all types of skins consumers. 
In a test tube, we mixed 5 ingredients: 
-Olive vegetable oil: fight against the aging of the skin. This oil protects and softens the skin. 
- Vegetable oil of grape seeds: regenerating and restructuring virtues on the skin. 
-Hydrolat of lavender: it cleans and repairs the skin, it refreshes and soothes it. Allows a good healing of the skin. 
-Aloe Vera: soothing, healing, moisturizing, regenerating, purifying, astringent, 
The emulsifying wax allows the realization of emulsions "water in oil" ideal to create a thick cream 
-The grapefruit seed extract makes it possible to prolong the life of cosmetic product 
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It is a preservative of natural origin, antibacterial and antifungal 
We homogenized the whole vortex, poured into a sterile empty agar and I brought it home to put them in the same conditions of use as a consumer (bathroom, closed lid, daily contamination. 

4- Evaluation of the hazards of a cream 

The first step is to investigate the presence of pathogens in order to evaluate the efficacy of the preservatives and their possible danger of use. : 
-Staphylococcus Aureus, 
-Pseudomonas Aeruginosa 

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-Candida Albicans. 
In this same manipulation, we look for the presence of a faecal contamination indicator to detect a hygiene failure during manufacture: 
-Escherichia Coli 
The second manipulation makes it possible to evaluate the Total Mesophile Flora (FMAT) which allows a general control of the finished product. Merci d'avance  

[Jean B]

Hello,

Quelques petits soucis vite corrigés, merci.

In order to answer our problem, we will control the quality of 3 Nivéa products after use. << 3 = pluriel

We contaminated our 3 creams once a day by putting 2 uncleaned fingers in it uncleaned. << L'adjectif DEVANT le nom // 2 = pluriel, bis ! We placed our cream in a moist and dark place at room temperature, lid closed. << Récit d'actions passées, terminées = prétérit.

... but a problem has arisen arose with us regarding...<< prétérit encore

... but to create two other home-made creams made "home" ...

For the creation of our house creams we have chosen chose an effective recipe... << prétérit toujours

...to encompass all types of skins consumer skins. << Dans un nom composé de nom + nom, celui qui qualifie l'autre et prend donc fonction d'adjectif se place naturellement devant et reste invariable. Le nom noyau lui se place en dernier et peut prendre la marque du pluriel comme ici.