Oral bac (3)

[Chigago Poney]

Bonjour, j'aimerai des corrections et des avis sur mon texte c'est pour mon oral de bac. Merci

In order to illustrate the notion myths and heroes, I’m going to talk about American Dream because, the American dream is said to be « living the dream ». It’s a myths of success, to become known to everyone, to become rich. But it’s an optimistic idea, when one person arrive there, she considered like a hero as before she had a situation modest or poor and now she has do well in life in United States of America and she has a better life.

Can we consider celebrities issue of American Dream like heroes?

I Heroes issue of American Dream

I’d like to talk about heroes’ issue of American Dream.  Many people believe in the American Dream, and try it, so they come emigrate in United States of America to pursue their dream of being famous and have success. In fact many celebrities in America come from other countries or it’s their parents who come from other countries, like in political with Arnold Schwarzenegger, he is born in Austrian or Chris Garner, is beginning rich and famous, but in the beginning he has started without a shelter, he has made it a force and now he is multi-millionaire.

II Antiheroes issue of American Dream

I’d like to talk about antiheroes’ issue of American Dream. Because there are people to become famous and after we to realize that he to keep quiet about something, or to lack something. As Russell Williams made a war and he was a colonel but in his February 7, the world discovered it’s a criminal because he pleads guilty to all 88 charges against him. These including two counts of first-degree murder, two counts of sexual assault and two counts of forcible containment. 6 months ago, he carry the Olympics torch! He has disappointed many people because he was consider like a hero.

Conclusion

To conclude, can we consider their like heroes? Because they have just believe on their dream and they give the means of to succeed on taking ricks however, they have not accomplished a symbolic act or to risk their life to save somebody like a hero. Of course they are courageous person, who they are to a model to somebody. And there are heroes who disappointed because they are lie on their past.

I think celebrities he isn’t a hero because have not accomplished a symbolic act, but the American dream exist but it’s an optimism idea. There are many person that has landed for less person who arrived.

 

D'évidence, ça ne te gêne pas de réutiliser le même titre systématiquement !

[Jean B]

 

Bonjour,

il y a une heure, Chigago Poney a dit :

Bonjour, j'aimerai << D'une fois à l'autre donc, tu ne tiens pas compte de mes annotations pour progresser !  des corrections et des avis sur mon texte c'est pour mon oral de bac. Merci

In order to illustrate the notion myths and heroes, I’m going to talk about the American Dream because the American dream which is said to be « living the dream ». It’s a myths of success, to become that is becoming known to everyone, to become and rich. But it’s an optimistic idea, when one person arrive there someone reaches such a state, she they're considered like a hero as before she had because they used to have a situation modest or poor job and whereas they now she has do well in life in the United States of America and she has have a better life. << Te rends-tu compte au moins du type de fautes que tu commets ? Je suis fatigué de retrouver les mêmes d'une fois à l'autre. Ce sera donc ma dernière contribution car je n'ai aucune vocation à prêcher dans le désert.

Can we consider that celebrities issue of who stem from the American Dream like are heroes?

I Heroes issue of American Dream << Voir ligne au dessus

I’d like to talk about heroes’ issue of American Dream. << Idem Combien de fois encore vas-tu répéter ça ? Many people believe in the American Dream and try to achieve it so they come emigrate in to the United States of America to pursue their dream of being famous and have success successful. In fact many celebrities in America come from other countries or it’s their parents who came from other countries, like in political with such as Arnold Schwarzenegger he is who was born in Austria, became a film star and later a successful politician or Chris Garner is beginning rich and famous, but in the beginning he has started without a shelter, he has made it a force and now he is who was once homeless and is now multimillionaire.

II Antiheroes issue of American Dream

I’d like to talk about antiheroes’ issue of American Dream. Because there are people to become famous and after we to realize that he to keep quiet about something, or to lack something. << Charabia As Russell Williams made a war and he was a colonel but in his February 7, the world discovered it’s a criminal because he pleads guilty to all 88 charges against him. These including two counts of first-degree murder, two counts of sexual assault and two counts of forcible containment. 6 months ago, he carry the Olympics torch! << Idem He has disappointed many people because he was considered like a hero.

Conclusion

To conclude, can we consider their like heroes? Because they have just believe on their dream and they give the means of to succeed on taking ricks however, they have not accomplished a symbolic act or to risk their life to save somebody like a hero. << C'est du grand n'importe quoi. Je mets n'importe quel anglophone au défi de comprendre ! Of course they are courageous person, who they are to a model to somebody. << ??!!  And there are heroes who disappointed because they are lie << ??!!  on their past.

I think celebrities he isn’t a hero because have << De mieux en mieux ! not accomplished a symbolic act, but the American dream exist but it’s an optimism idea. There are many person that has landed for less person who arrived.

 

D'évidence par ailleurs, ça ne te gêne pas de réutiliser le même titre de sujet systématiquement !

 

[Chigago Poney]

Bonjour merci, j'essaie vraiment de faire des efforts mais ce n'est pas en une fois que je vais résoudre toutes mes fautes, pour moi l'anglais c'est très dur et même en travaillant cette matière vraiment j'ai énormément de difficultés, la syntaxe des phrases, la grammaire... sont inbuvables mais j'essaye car j'ai la volonté et l'envie de bien faire. Je suis consciente de mon niveau catastrophique. Merci aurevoir

[Jean B]

Il y a 13 heures, Chigago Poney a dit :

Bonjour merci, j'essaie vraiment de faire des efforts mais ce n'est pas en une fois que je vais résoudre toutes mes fautes, pour moi l'anglais c'est très dur et même en travaillant cette matière vraiment j'ai énormément de difficultés, la syntaxe des phrases, la grammaire... sont inbuvables mais j'essaye car j'ai la volonté et l'envie de bien faire. Je suis consciente de mon niveau catastrophique. Merci aurevoir

Sans vouloir retourner le couteau dans la plaie, ce n'est pas d'hier que datent tes lacunes actuelles. Elles auraient dû être comblées dès la fin de la troisième du collège, sans attendre la terminale du lycée pour y remédier un tant soit peu.