Demande de correction

[lora123456]

Bonjour, j'aurais besoin de votre aide pour corriger mes fautes en anglais svp :

Maui was a demigod living in Hawaiiki. Left going fishing with his brother, while they navigated in mid-ocean, Maui threw his magic hook along his waka. After a while he felt a big grip at the end of the line. The traction was too strong for it to be a smple fish, and Maui called to his brother for help.

After having fired a lot, they took out the fish from Maui, become the island of the North of New Zealand. After being able to pull the fish out of the waves, Maui jumped on it and began to kill him with his hook. The blows given by Maui to the fish are at the origin of the many mountain ranges of the present North Island.

Maui also fished the Island of the South. The stewart Island at the very bottom of New Zealand bears the name of Maui's anchor : it was the Anchor that retrained the Maui waka while it fired the giant fish.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

En rouge ce qu'il faut corriger, en vert mes corrections, en violet mes remarques.

 

Le 14/02/2017 at 17:22, lora123456 a dit :

Bonjour, j'aurais besoin de votre aide pour corriger mes fautes en anglais svp :

Maui was a demigod living in Hawaiiki. Left going fishing << Que faut-il comprendre par la juxtaposition fautive de ces 3 formes verbales ? Relis Boileau : "Ce qui se conçoit bien s'énonce clairement..." with his brother, while they navigated << le prétérit be v-ing puisque l'action était en cours in mid-ocean, Maui threw his magic hook along his waka. After a while he felt a big grip at the end of the line. The traction was too strong for it to be a simple fish, and Maui called << verbe transitif direct to his brother for help.

After having fired a lot, they took out the fish from Maui, << C'est incompréhensible et "fire" signifie tirer avec une arme à feu ! Quel dictionnairte utilises-tu ? become << verbe irrégulier the island of the North of New Zealand. After being able to pull the fish out of the waves, Maui jumped on it and began to kill him << ??? << Il t'arrive de te relire ? with his hook. The blows given by Maui to the fish are at the origin of the many mountain ranges of the present North Island.

Maui also fished the Island of the South. The Stewart Island at the very bottom of New Zealand bears the name of Maui's anchor: it was the Anchor that retrained the Maui waka while it fired the giant fish. <<Tu oublies trop souvent qu'il y a 3 pronoms de la 3ème personne du singulier et qu'ils ne s'emploient pas au pif ! Tirer hors de l'eau se dit  pull out / draw out / of the water.

À toi les corrections maintenant.