Newspaper article correction

[Laurine.V]

Hello! 

I study english in univesity and I have to write a newspaper arcticle. I do that but I'd like someone with a good english level corrects my work.

I think that there are some tense and grammar mistakes.

Thank you in advance.

 

Here is my work : 

The Green suitcase : ten years later, we know the truth !

 

Remember, ten years ago, a tragedy happened in a hotel. A woman, Mrs Green, was killed. Her husband was found guilty and he’s in jail since the murder.

But today, we have some new information. Green’s daugther, Judith, went to the same hotel to discover the place where her mom died. But in reality, she found the key of the investigation !

 

When Judith arrived at the hotel she found the cook which always works on the same place. After a two-hour conversation, Judith went upstairs, in the same room that his parent’s ten years ago.

After several days, she noticed an unstuck corner on the carpet. When she looked closer, she found a letter.

Judith was totally upset when she read this letter. In this one, Mrs Green relates that she feels in danger and she tells everything that happened just before her death.

We learn that Mr et Mrs Green, Dr White and Mr Brown had won a lot of money at the lottery. To celebrate that, they went to the hotel. But in reality, Mr and Mrs Green had a plan. They wanted to keep all the money for them and killed Dr White and Mr Brown during the walk on the hills.  

At the last moment, Mrs Green changed her mind, she panicked and she decided to give up the murder. She said to her husband that she had lost the key of the suitcase in which the winning ticket was. In the letter, Mrs Green says that her husband is very angry and that she feels in danger.

Dr White and Mr Brown never spoke about the winning ticket, we suppose that it’s to not be wrongly accused. Probably, Mr Green hadn’t spoken about the White and Brown murder plan to not increase his sentence.

 

 

[Jean B]

 

Bonsoir et bienvenue sur e-bahut.

Il y a 16 heures, Laurine.V a dit :

Hello! 

I'm presently studying English in at univesity and I have to write a newspaper arcticle.<<Tu ne vas sûrement pas étudier toute ta vie, si ? Différence d'emploi entre présent simple et présent be v-ing ? I do that but I'd like someone with a good English level corrects to correct my work. <<Les noms de langues vivantes prennent une majuscule. ***** I'd like sb to do sth = J'aimerais que qqn fasse qqch

I think that there are some tense and grammar mistakes.

Thank you in advance.

 

Here is my work : 

The Green suitcase: ten years later, we know the truth! <<Les 2 points, le point final, la virgule, les points d'exclamation et d'interrogation se collent SANS ESPACE derrière le dernier mot. Tu rectifieras partout ailleurs.

 

Remember, ten years ago, a tragedy happened in a hotel. A woman, Mrs Green, was killed. Her husband was found guilty and he’s been in jail since the murder.<<Revois les règles d'emploi du present perfect.

But today, we have some new information. Green’s daugther, Judith, went to the same hotel to discover the place where her mom died. But in reality, she found the key of the investigation !

 

When Judith arrived at the hotel she found the cook which who always still works on the same place.<<antécédent de personne = who **** "toujours" au sens de "encore" = still  After a two-hour conversation, Judith went upstairs, in the same room that as his her parents ten years ago.<< same...as **** un adjectif possessif DOIT être accordé en genre avec le possesseur.**** Dans de nombreux cas, le pluriel d'un nom se fait en y ajoutant un -s ! Ne fais pas la confusion avec la marque du génitif 's qui n'a rien à y voir !

After several days, she noticed an unstuck corner on the carpet. When she looked closer, she found a letter.

Judith was totally upset when she read this letter. In this one, Mrs Green related that she feels felt in danger and she tells told everything that happened just before her death.<<Le présent me paraît hautement improbable puisqu'elle est morte et tu racontes, sois cohérente !

We learn that Mr et Mrs Green, Dr White and Mr Brown had won a lot of money at the lottery. To celebrate that, they went to the hotel. But in reality, Mr and Mrs Green had a plan. They wanted to keep all the money for them and killed Dr White and Mr Brown during the walk on the hills.  

At the last moment, Mrs Green changed her mind, she panicked and she decided to give up the murder. She said to told her husband that she had lost the key of the suitcase in which the winning ticket was. In the letter, Mrs Green says said that her husband is was very angry and that she feels felt in danger.<<C'est toi qui racontes un évènement passé, terminé = prétérit. Tu passes allègrement du past au présent apparemment sans aucun état d'âme. Sois cohérente, bis !

Dr White and Mr Brown never spoke about the winning ticket, we suppose that it’s to not to be wrongly accused. Probably, Mr Green hadn’t spoken about the White and Brown murder plan to not to increase his sentence.<<pour ne pas + infinitif = not to + BV

 

[Laurine.V]

Thank you so much JRB ! 

Have a nice day. 

[Jean B]

You're welcome. Have a nice day too.