Raconter ses vacances/ Interaction

[Chia2408]

Bonsoir , j'ai un devoir d’interaction orale, et je dois rédiger mes vacances. Je dois utiliser le present perfect ainsi que le preterit. Mais je n'ai pas exactement compris où placer le p.perfect dans mon texte. Pouvez-vous m'aider à repérer les erreurs dans mon devoir ?

Merci d'avance ! 

ANGLAIS.odt

[Chia2408]

Consigne : Tu es allé(e) à Sydney et tu discutes avec ton/ta camarade qui est allé(e) à New York.

Au cours de cette conversation vous devrez utiliser les connaissances acquises au cours de la séquence.

(Je précise, je n'ai fais que ma partie, ma camarade va compléter avec son passage sur Sydney.)

Me : Hello !

My friend : Hi !

Me : How are you today ?

M.F : Really fine ! I have a question : have you ever travelled in the world ?

Me : Of course. I have ever travelled in the USA, in N-Y, for one week. I love this city, it's wonderful !

My friend : You have visited N-Y ? Cool ! How did you go to this city ?

Me : I took the plane during 9hours and 40minutes.

MF : And... Have you seen many places ?

Me : Yes ! I've been to Central Park, Union Square, Top of Rock, I have seen the Statue of Liberty, I have visited the Guggenheim Museum and the Museum of Moving Image. Oh ! I have been to the Broklyn Bridge too. And I have done many shopping : I have bought many clothes and memories.

And you, have you already been to New-York ?

MF : No, I haven't been to N-Y... But I've ever been to Sydney !

...

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Tu commets quelques erreurs en employant parfois le present perfect quand il faudrait du prétérit.

Rappel des règles simplifiées :

- le prétérit s'emploie pour décrire une action passée, terminée, (parfois datée), sans lien avec le présent.

- le present perfect s'emploie toutes les fois qu'il y a un lien passé/présent ou prolongement dans le présent d'une action commencée dans le passé.

En rouge ci-dessous, tu trouveras ce que tu dois modifier, en vert mes corrections.

Me : Of course. I have ever already travelled in the USA. = J'y ai déjà voyagé, sans précision de date. I stayed in N-Y for one week.= J'ai séjourné 1 semaine à NY, je sais forcément quand. I love this city, it's wonderful!

My friend : You have visited N-Y? Cool! How did you go to this city? <<Attention aussi à la bonne composition de la forme interrogative

Me : I took the plane flew during / The flight lasted / 9 hours and 40 minutes.<<On ne met pas tant de temps que ça pour prendre un avion ! Réfléchis au sens de ce que tu écris.

MF : And... Have you seen many places?

Me : Yes ! I've been to Central Park, Union Square, Top of Rock, I have seen the Statue of Liberty, I have visited the Guggenheim Museum and the Museum of Moving Image. Oh ! I have been to the Broklyn Bridge too. And I have done many shopping : I have bought many clothes and memories souvenirs.  << "memories", ce sont les souvenirs que l'on garde d'évènements passés, pas les bricoles qu'on achète quand on fait du tourisme.

And you, have you already been to New-York?

MF : No, I haven't been to N-Y... But I've ever already been to Sydney!

À toi maintenant pour les corrections.

[Chia2408]

Bonjour,

Merci pour cette correction ! J'ai corrigé les mots en rouge et rajouté quelques phrases pour "enjoliver" un peu mon texte :

Me : Of course ! I have already travelled in the USA. I stayed in N-Y for (est-ce qu'à la place de for, je peux mettre during ?) one week. I really love this beautiful city !

MF : Cool ! How did you go to this city ?

Me : The flight lasted 9hours and 40minutes. This is very long, and I slept during this flight.

MF : Did you see many places ?

Me : Yes I did. I went to Central Park, and I took a lot of pictures. I went to the Union Square, and to the Top of Rock ! The landscapes are wonderful ! I saw te Statue of Liberty, I visited the Guggenheim Museum, and the Museum of Moving Image. This Museum isn't very known, but it's fantastic ! Oh, and I went to the Broklyn Bridge. I really like this. I did many shopping ! I bought many clothes and souvenirs : I bought a mug with a picture of the Statue of Liberty on it, a cute Teddy Bear, a sweat, and more... I really love N-Y... And you, have you already been to N-Y ?

MF : No, I have never been to N-Y... But I've already been to Sydney .....

[Jean B]

Il y a 3 heures, Chia2408 a dit :

Bonjour,

Merci pour cette correction ! J'ai corrigé les mots en rouge et rajouté quelques phrases pour "enjoliver" un peu mon texte :

Me : Of course! I have already travelled in the USA. I stayed in N-Y for (est-ce qu'à la place de for, je peux mettre during ? oui ) one week. I really love this beautiful city!

MF : Cool! How did you go to this city?

Me : The flight lasted 9 hours and 40 minutes. This It is very long and I slept during this the flight.

MF : Did you see many places?

Me : Yes I did. I went to Central Park and I took a lot of pictures. I went to the Union Square, and to the Top of Rock! The landscapes are wonderful! I saw te Statue of Liberty, I visited the Guggenheim Museum, and the Museum of Moving Image. This Museum isn't very well known but it's fantastic! Oh, and I went to the Broklyn Bridge. I really like this it. I did many a lot of shopping!<< many ne s'emploie que devant un dénombrable pluriel I bought many clothes and souvenirs: (I bought) a mug with a picture of the Statue of Liberty on it, a cute Teddy Bear, a sweat, and more... I really love N-Y... And you, have you already been to N-Y?

MF : No, I have never been to N-Y... But I've already been to Sydney .....

C'est bien vu pour les corrections.

Concernant la ponctuation, note que les points d'interrogation, de négation et les deux points se collent SANS ESPACE derrière le dernier mot. J'avais déjà rectifié dans ma première réponse mais ça t'a échappé. De plus, une virgule est inutile devant un mot charnière tel que "and", "but", etc.

À l'avenir, enrichis un peu ton vocabulaire, tu répètes "I went". Il y a d'autres verbes plus descriptifs que "go".

Bonne continuation.