London, a global city

[Pln99]

Bonjour à tous,

J'ai un devoir à faire en DNL sur Londres. Je voulais vous demander s'il était possible que vous corrigiez mes fautes et que vous me donniez votre avis sur mon travail. Je mets le sujet en pièce jointe. En revanche, il me semble que mon plan de convient pas très bien à la question posée puisqu'il faut également que je m'appuie sur les documents ; en effet, ma deuxième partie (que je n'ai pas encore traitée) est mal amenée et je me demandais si vous pouviez m'indiquer une meilleure voie à suivre. Mon travail est le suivant :

Intro : The documents we are going to study are linked to London : it is a mega city in the South East of the UK and its capital. The first document is an extract from an article published by the Huffington Post ; it dates back from March 2016. It deals with the question is London is a global city. The second one is a Time's cover of January 2008 which shows us the importance of London is the world. In what way can we say that London is a global city, that is to say a city with a polarization power on a global scale ?  First, we will identify what proves the global caracter of London (ce qui m'embête, c'est que j'ai l'impression de déjà répondre à ma question dans cette première partie...). Then, we will see the dynamics of the city to highlight the consequences of the globalization (mais là, je ne m'appuie pas sur les documents...). (il faudrait en fait que je divise en deux ma première partie...).

 

1. The global caracter of London

Firstly, we know the importance of the demographic weight of London : 11 million of inhabitants in the metropolitan area and 7 million people in the Greater London. It greatly contributes to the economic aspect as well as the urban growth. This leads to London's integration in the global flows that the city massively boosts : " London was in pole position amongst these global cities with executives in the city drawn from 95 different countries, which is five times that of Sydney". Thus, these flows link London to the other global cities located in the USA, Europe and Asia. These are possible because of the layouts which reinforce the accessibility of the city (HUB) and which put it as a home to major stock exchanges and indexes : "London is home to over a third of all European Fortune 500 companie, and has three times more corporate headquarters than any toher city in Europe". This central place has to be linked to the heavy concentration of command activities which participate in its attractiveness : The Central Business District, The City, the Canary Wharf and Westminster with the skyscapers and the headquarters. In this way, London is influential on a global scale and powerful. Moreover, thank to that, "The Greater London Authority reveal that the creative and high-tech industries have increased their Gross Value-Added by 16.4% since 2009 and now contributes over £35 billion per year". This approves the Time's cover on which it is written that London is a vity which drives the global economy ; so, a key piece in the big Globalization Puzzle.

2. Consequences

Je voulais parler des éventuelles ségrégations socio-spatiales... Mais comme dit précédemment, cette partie ne convient pas...

 

Conclusion : We can conclude that London is a global city : it has one of the largest stock exchanges in the world, it hosts a variety of international financial services... But, since the Brexit, is London still an important city in the world ?

 

Je vous remercie sincèrement de l'aide que vous pourrez me fournir.

 

 

 

Londres.docx

[Jean B]

 

 

Bonjour,

Le 12/11/2016 at 13:28, Pln99 a dit :

Bonjour à tous,

J'ai un devoir à faire en DNL sur Londres. Je voulais vous demander s'il était possible que vous corrigiez mes fautes et que vous me donniez votre avis sur mon travail. Je mets le sujet en pièce jointe. En revanche, il me semble que mon plan de convient pas très bien à la question posée puisqu'il faut également que je m'appuie sur les documents ; en effet, ma deuxième partie (que je n'ai pas encore traitée) est mal amenée et je me demandais si vous pouviez m'indiquer une meilleure voie à suivre. Mon travail est le suivant :

Intro : The documents we are going to study are linked to with London : it is a mega city in the South East of the UK and its capital. The first document is an extract from an article published by the Huffington Post; it dates back from March 2016. It deals with the question: is London is a global city?<<La forme de la question justement The second one is a Time cover of January 2008 which shows us the importance of London is the world.<<Le génitif est grammaticalement impossible. Le nom composé suffit à induire la notion d'appartenance. In what way To what extent can we say that London is a global city, that is to say a city with a polarization power on a global scale?  First, we will identify what proves the global caracter of London (ce qui m'embête, c'est que j'ai l'impression de déjà répondre à ma question dans cette première partie...). Then, we will see the dynamics of the city to highlight the consequences of the globalization (mais là, je ne m'appuie pas sur les documents...). (il faudrait en fait que je divise en deux ma première partie...).

1. The global character of London

Firstly, we know the importance of the demographic weight of London: 11 million of inhabitants in the metropolitan area and 7 million people in the Greater London. It greatly contributes to the economic aspect as well as the urban growth. This leads to London's integration in the global flows that the city massively boosts: " London was in pole position amongst these global cities with executives in the city drawn from 95 different << Attention à l'acception de ces adjectifs>> various countries, which is five times that of Sydney". Thus, these flows link London to with the other global cities located in the USA, Europe and Asia. These are possible because of the layouts which reinforce the accessibility of the city (HUB) and which put it as a home to major stock exchanges and indexes : "London is home to over a third of all European Fortune 500 companies, and has three times more corporate headquarters than any toher <<Relis-toi ! other city in Europe". This central place has to be linked to with the heavy concentration of command activities which participate in its attractiveness: the Central Business District, The City, the Canary Wharf and Westminster with the skyscrapers and the headquarters. In this way, London is influential on a global scale and powerful. Moreover, thanks to that, "The Greater London Authority reveal that the creative and high-tech industries have increased their Gross Value-Added by 16.4% since 2009 and now contributes over £35 billion per year".<<Le sujet n'est-il pas pluriel ? This approves the Time cover on which it is written that London is a city<<Je suppose... which drives the global economy ; so, a key piece in the big Globalization Puzzle.

2. Consequences

Je voulais parler des éventuelles ségrégations socio-spatiales... Mais comme dit précédemment, cette partie ne convient pas...

Conclusion : We can conclude that London is a global city: it has one of the largest stock exchanges in the world, it hosts a variety of international financial services... But, since the Brexit, is London still an important city in the world?

Je vous remercie sincèrement de l'aide que vous pourrez me fournir.

Londres.docx

Sauf rarissime exception, je n'interviens pas sur le fond,  la forme pourvoyant largement "à mon bonheur".

PS : Lors de ma correction, je n'avais pas pris connaissance de tes textes où il est bien question du Time magazine et pas du quotidien londonien Times. Mea culpa, rectification.

[Pln99]

D'accord, pas de soucis !

En tout cas, je vous remercie d'avoir revu les fautes. 

Je vous souhaite une bonne soirée.