Maori tribe

[Devoirs]

Bonjour,

Voici mon sujet:

The situation: Your local radio station is looking for a new chronicler, as the present one is due to retire at the end of the year. To find a replacement, the radio station is asking candidates to record their own
chronicle based on the notes below.
Your task: Present a chronicle to defend your point of view on the subject. Your talk must last 3 minutes.
Follow the instructions and record your talk.
Here are the chronicler’s notes. You will use these notes to speak and at the end, give your opinion and find examples and arguments to justify your opinion.

Voilà, j'ai commencé, pourriez-vous corriger les fautes/

Merci

Cordialement

Devoirs

[Devoirs]

Voici ma chronique: (en espérant que quelqu'un prendra le temps de me lire)

Ladies and gentlemen,

Today, we are talking about an interesting topic: the Haka, the famous Maori male dance ritual.

You know probably the All Blacks, isn’t it? If no, it’s a New Zealand rugby team. The All Blacks perform the haka before each match.

Ngati Toa (a Maori Tribe) acquired international property rights to the haka ritual. And with this property rights, nobody can use the haka without the Toa’s permission.

In one hundred ninety-nine, Ngati Toa started fight to stop commercial exploitation of the haka. So, trademark the haka to limit commercial abuse.

But, All Blacks use of the haka for a commercial exploitation?

All Blacks should stop doing the haka?

All Blacks should pay to do the haka?

I think the haka utilization by other persons as the All Blacks must be paying. If no, evrybody can use the haka! How to do?

Use of haka in film and television is very current! And personnaly, i’m against. It’s just indelicate, tactless and degrading for Maori culture. If this persists, the tradition will be very degrading. A tradition is create to remain in the tribe no to be known by the world! The haka has a traditional significance.

So, in 2006,women do haka in farcical manner for take a pub italian commercial for Fiat. It’s very degrading. Everybody don’t know the significance of the haka.

Also, in 2008, in the Hollywood movie Forver Strong a US high school rugby performs the haka.

It’s horrible for the Maori tribe. How can you not respect a tribe at this point?

I’m comprehending with the Maori. Must respect traditions of each, it’s personnal.

Ngati Toa acquired international property rights to the haka ritual to stop film directors and advertisers exploiting the haka in films and commercials.

I think we should let the Maori haka ritual is their tradition. Use it for anything degrades. It is not for money but to protect their traditions and their public image.

For example, if you have a traditional that you like a lot, imagine we do in the public laugh.

Would you be happy or not?

Not.

So, we should be comprehending with Maori and the All Blacks should stop doing the haka, if there aren’t the Maori’s permission.

I think Maori don’t do this to make money but to keep the traditions and pass them on to each generation without arousing laughter among external persons.

[Jean B]

 

Bonsoir,

Il y a 16 heures, Devoirs a dit :

Voici ma chronique: (en espérant que quelqu'un prendra le temps de me lire)

Ladies and gentlemen,

Today, we are talking about an interesting topic: the Haka, the famous Maori male dance ritual.

You know probably the All Blacks, isn’t it don't you?<<Revoir les "question tags" If not, it’s a New Zealand rugby team. The All Blacks perform the haka before each match.

Ngati Toa (a Maori Tribe) acquired international property rights to the haka ritual. And with this property rights, nobody can use the haka without the Toa’s permission.

In one hundred ninety-nine<<As-tu déjà vu une date écrite ainsi et archi-fausse qui plus est ?, Ngati Toa started fight to stop commercial exploitation of the haka. So, they wanted to trademark the haka to limit commercial abuse.

But, All Blacks use of the haka for a commercial exploitation?

All Blacks should stop doing the haka?

All Blacks should pay to do the haka? <<Jusqu'ici, tu n'as fait que reprendre les notes alors que l'énoncé te demande d'en faire une chronique personnelle pour défendre ton point de vue sur le sujet.

I think the haka utilization use by other persons people as like the All Blacks must be paying paid. If not, everybody can use the haka! How to do?

 The use of haka in films and on television is very current common! <<Sers-toi convenablement du dictionnaire ! And personally, I'm against.<<Le pronom sujet toujours en MAJUSCULE SVP !  It’s just indelicate, tactless and degrading for Maori culture. If this persists, the tradition will be very degrading greatly damaged/spoiled/deteriorated.<<Sais-tu faire la distinction entre forme active et forme passive ?>> A tradition is created to remain in the tribe not to be known by the whole world! The haka has a traditional significance.

So, in 2006, women do haka in farcical manner for take a pub italian commercial for Fiat. It’s very degrading. Everybody don’t know the significance of the haka.<<Tout récit d'évènement(s) passé(s) se fait au prétérit. // everybody appelle un singulier.

Also, in 2008, in the Hollywood movie Forver Strong a US high school rugby performs the haka.

It’s horrible for the Maori tribe. How can you not respect a tribe at this point?

I’m comprehending with <<understand te paraît trop terre à terre ? the Maori. X << un sujet ? must respect everybody's traditions of each, it’s personal.<<Quel est le nom que remplace ce pronom ? Ne sais-tu pas faire les accords ?

Ngati Toa acquired international property rights to the haka ritual to stop film directors and advertisers exploiting the haka in films and commercials.

I think we should let the Maori haka ritual is their tradition. <<Le lien avec la première partie de la phrase ? Use Using it for any purpose / anything / degrades. It is not for money but to protect their traditions and their public image.

For example, if you have a traditional<<Tu ne te relis donc pas ? that you like a lot, imagine we do in the public laugh.<<Ça n'a aucun sens.

Would you be happy or not?

Not. <<Différence entre not et no ?

So, we should be comprehending <<Encore !  with Maori and the All Blacks should stop doing the haka, if there aren’t the Maori’s permission. <<Alors là, si tu en es à confondre there et they d'une part et be et have d'autre part, tu as un réel souci.

I think Maori don’t do this to make money but to keep the traditions and pass them on to each generation without arousing laughter among external persons.

Sauf erreur, te lire ne m'a pas donné l'impression que tu te sois donné beaucoup de mal. Corrige toutes les erreurs balisées en rouge et annotées en violet.

[Devoirs]

Bonjour,

Merci pour votre aide.

J'ai en effet quelques soucis (graves) pour  l'anglais et compte rattraper mon retard grâce à des cours de rattrapage. Je ne sais pas comment enrichir ma rédaction...

Ladies and gentlemen,

Today, we are talking about an interesting topic: the Haka, the famous Maori male dance ritual.

You know probably the All Blacks, don't you? If not, it’s a New Zealand rugby team. The All Blacks perform the haka before each match. But, do they have the permission ?

Ngati Toa, who is a Maori Tribe, acquired international property rights to the haka ritual. And with this property rights, nobody can use the haka without the Toa’s permission.

In nineteen ninety-nine, Ngati Toa started fight to stop commercial exploitation of the haka. So, they wanted to trademark the haka to limit commercial abuse.

But, All Blacks use of the haka for a commercial exploitation?

All Blacks should stop doing the haka?

All Blacks should pay to do the haka?

The haka use by other people like the All Blacks must be paid. If no, everybody can use the haka! How to do?

 The use of haka in films and on television is very common! And personally, I'm against. It’s just indelicate, tactless and degrading for Maori culture. If this persists, the tradition will be greatly damaged/spoiled/deteriorated.A tradition is created to remain in the tribe not to be known by the whole world! The haka has a traditional significance.

So, in 2006, women did haka in farcical manner for take a pub italian commercial for Fiat. It’s very degrading. Everybody didn’t know the significance of the haka.

Also, in 2008, in the Hollywood movie Forver Strong a US high school rugby performs the haka.

It’s horrible for the Maori tribe. How can you not respect a tribe at this point?

I can understand the Maori. We must respect everybody's traditions, it’s personal.

Ngati Toa acquired international property rights to the haka ritual to stop film directors and advertisers exploiting the haka in films and commercials.

I think we should let the Maori haka ritual, the haka is their tradition not our.Using it for any purpose / anything / degrades. It is not for money but to protect their traditions and their public image.

For example, if you have a tradition that you like a lot, imagine the whole world uses it without your permission to a laughable reason.

Would you be happy or angry?

Angry, for sure.

So, we should be understand with Maori and the All Blacks should stop doing the haka, if they haven’t the Maori’s permission.

I think Maori don’t do this to make money but to keep the traditions and pass them on to each generation without arousing laughter among external persons.

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Il y a 6 heures, Devoirs a dit :

Bonjour,

Merci pour votre aide.

J'ai en effet quelques soucis (graves) pour  l'anglais et compte rattraper mon retard grâce à des cours de rattrapage. Je ne sais pas comment enrichir ma rédaction...

Ladies and gentlemen,

Today, we are talking about an interesting topic: the Haka, the famous Maori male dance ritual.

You know probably the All Blacks, don't you? If not, it’s a New Zealand rugby team. The All Blacks perform the haka before each match. But, do they have the permission to do so?

Ngati Toa, who is a Maori Tribe, acquired international property rights to the haka ritual. And with this these property rights, nobody can use the haka without the Toa’s permission.

In 1999 / nineteen ninety-nine, the Ngati Toa started fight to stop commercial exploitation of the haka. So, they wanted to trademark the haka to limit commercial abuse. <<Une date s'écrit d'abord en chiffres mais peut s'écrire en lettres aussi, comme chez le notaire !

But, All Blacks use of the haka for a commercial exploitation? <<Suggestion>> If the All Blacks use the haka for commercial exploitation, I think they should either stop doing it or pay to perform it.<<Ainsi, tu donnes déjà ton avis général avant de l'argumenter plus loin.

All Blacks should stop doing the haka?

All Blacks should pay to do the haka?

The haka use by other people like the All Blacks must be paid. If not, everybody can use the haka! How should we go about it?

 The use of haka in films and on television is very common! And personally, I'm against. It’s just indelicate, tactless and degrading for Maori culture. If this persists, the tradition will be greatly damaged/spoiled/deteriorated.A tradition is created to remain in the tribe not to be known by the whole world! The haka has a traditional significance.

In 2006 in Italy, some women did the haka in a farcical manner for take a pub italian commercial for the purpose of a Fiat commercial / advertisement.<<Attention : en anglais on va au " pub " pour boire un coup ! Rien à voir donc avec les 3 premières lettres du nom " publicité " . It was very degrading.<<2006, c'est du passé. Everybody didn’t know the significance of the haka.

Also, in 2008, in the Hollywood movie Forver Strong a US high school rugby performed the haka.<<2008, c'est aussi du passé !

It’s horrible for the Maori tribe. How can you so much disrespect a tribe?

I can understand the Maori. We must respect everybody's traditions, it’s they are personal.<<traditions est un pluriel, non ? Sois attentive à ce que tu écris.

Ngati Toa acquired international property rights to the haka ritual to stop film directors and advertisers exploiting the haka in films and commercials.

I think we should let the Maori haka ritual, the haka is their tradition not ours.<<Le pronom possessif = la nôtre Using it for any purpose / anything / degrades. It is not for money but to protect their traditions and their public image.

For example, if you have a tradition that you like a lot, imagine the whole world uses it without your permission to for a laughable reason.

Would you be happy or angry?

Angry, for sure.

So, we should be understanding with Maori and the All Blacks should stop doing the haka, if they haven’t the Maori’s permission.

I think Maori don’t do this to make money but to keep their traditions and pass them on to each the next / future / generations without arousing laughter among external / foreign / people / persons.

 

C'est mieux mais sois très attentive aux corrections et aux annotations qui ne sont faites que pour t'aider à réfléchir, donc à progresser.