Correction d'un devoir

[Hopea]

Bonjour a tous , pouvez vous m'aide a corrige mon devoir , je vous remercie d'avance et bonne journée 

Luciano's vision, its project of crime syndicate, its will to push aside the old traditions of the mafia, its relations (in particular Meyer Lansky) and its acute sense of the strategy, as well as an undeniable charisma, brought Lucky Luciano, from now on godfather of one of the five families of the Cosa Nostra de New York, has to become the criminal dominant leader of the Commission (the direction of the national Labor union of the crime), at the end of the war of Castellamarese in 1931

Luciano would have intended to organize the prostitution he was moreover imprison for this .En 1936, prosecutor Thomas Dewey updated his network of prostitution and Luciano he was  stopped for proxénètisme. During the trial, several prostitutes and procurers were called to show, and Luciano took the rap of a punishment of 38 years of detention. His lawyer succeeded in making it transfer to the prison of Dannemora (instead of the harder prison of Sing Sing). Thanks to his political acquaintances, he was able to enjoy preferential treatment there and receive regularly his partners, what allowed him to keep managing its empire.

He plays moreover a role during the Second World War: Lorque the United States undertook in the Second World War, Lucky Luciano knew how to benefit from the situation. THE ONI (secret services of the US NAVY) was interested in Luciano's capacity to check the docks of New York (through Albert Anastasia and through the labor union of the dockers) against possible operations of sabotage of Nazi agents. His services also included contacts with the godfather of Palermo, Calogero Vizzini, to facilitate the progress of the invasion, by the allied troops, Sicily in 1943. According to the market crossed with the navy, Luciano, having benefited from more clement conditions of detention, was once freed the finished war, but he was expelled from the territory of the United States, the citizenship of which he did not possess, in 1946. He had to settle down in Italy, country of origin where he had lived only six years.

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Le 05/11/2016 at 11:01, Hopea a dit :

Bonjour a à tous , pouvez-vous m'aider a à corriger mon devoir ? Je vous remercie d'avance et bonne journée.

- Pour éviter l'erreur sur l'infinitif d'un verbe du 1er groupe, il suffit de le remplacer mentalement par un infinitif du 2ème ou 3ème groupe, ie apprendre/offrir, etc.

- L'accent grave sur le " à " préposition n'est pas facultatif !  Il permet de le distinguer du " a " présent du verbe avoir.

Luciano's vision, its project of x crime syndicate, its will to push aside the old traditions of the mafia, its relations <<Un autre nom est mieux approprié, cherche-le. (in particular Meyer Lansky) and its acute sense of the strategy, as well as an undeniable charisma, brought Lucky Luciano, from now on godfather of one of the five families of the Cosa Nostra de in New York, has to become the criminal dominant leader of the Commission (the direction of the national Labor union of the crime), at the end of the war of Castellamarese in 1931.

- L'adjectif possessif doit être accordé avec le POSSESSEUR, notion de grammaire élémentaire.

- x indique qu'il manque quelque chose.

- "the" ne s'emploie que devant un nom expressément déterminé. C'est un point essentiel à maîtriser.

- Attention : sauf erreur, ce premier paragraphe dégage comme un relent de traducteur automatique.

Luciano would have intended to organize the prostitution he was moreover imprison for this.<<prétérit passif = was/were + participe passé du verbe  En 1936,  x prosecutor Thomas Dewey updated his network of prostitution and Luciano he <<pas de double sujet en anglais was  stopped<< Ce verbe n'a pas la bonne acception for proxénètisme.<<Tu n'as pas un dictionnaire ? During the trial, several prostitutes and procurers were called to show,<< témoigner ? and Luciano took the rap of a punishment of got a 38-year sentence of detention. His lawyer succeeded in making it transfer to the prison of Dannemora (instead of the harder prison of Sing Sing). Thanks to his political acquaintances, he was able to enjoy preferential treatment there and receive regularly his partners, what allowed him to keep managing its empire.<<...réussit à le faire transférer a un sens passif >>...succeeded in having him transferred

Note également que, tout comme l'adjectif possessif, le pronom personnel complément doit être accordé ici avec la personne qu'il représente, ie masculin.

Moreover he plays <<Le récit d'évènements révolus doit se faire entièrement au prétérit moreover a role during the Second World War: Lorque  <<Tu ne te relis donc pas ? the United States undertook <<Ce n'est pas eux qui l'ont commencée. Recherche le verbe approprié. in the Second World War, Lucky Luciano knew how to benefit from the situation. THE ONI (secret services of the US NAVY) was interested in Luciano's capacity to check the docks of New York (through Albert Anastasia and through the labor union of the dockers) against possible operations of sabotage of by Nazi agents. His services also included contacts with the godfather of Palermo, Calogero Vizzini, to facilitate the progress of the invasion of Sicily by the allied troops in 1943. According to the market crossed deal made with the navy, Luciano, having benefited from more clement conditions of detention, was once freed once the war was finished, but he was expelled from the territory of the United States, the citizenship of which he did not possess, in 1946. He had to settle down in Italy, his native country of origin where he had lived only six years.

Rectifie toutes les fautes que j'ai balisées en rouge puis reviens pour vérification si tu le juges utile.