Texte espaces et échanges

[chichima]

Bonjour, pouvez-vous me corriger ce texte anglais portant sur la notion d'Espaces et Echanges s'il vous plait ?

Merci d'avance pour votre aide 

First of all I would like to give a definition of "Exchange." In true sense this word means the act of giving and receiving something in return. In our time, this word includes all forms of exchange: trade, the exchange of information via the media, virtual exchanges via internet, cultural exchanges, the flow of immigrants, etc ...
The exchange of information has become easier thanks to new technologies and trade have allowed to expand our exchange markets. Furthermore some exchanges allow some countries to grow because they are open to the world.
The concept of space and exchanges evokes the theme of the discovery of a new place but also the fact of traveling to discover and learn new things. Moreover, the tourism sector plays an important role in different countries because it is a source of economic and cultural exchanges. Others will not be content to travel but to stay there for their career plans. We can then ask this question "What can be the advantages and disadvantages of visiting a foreign country or just to study and find work?"


First we can admit that travel is a wonderful experience because it allows us to see what is around us. Indeed, when we travel we discover new things : we taste new foods, we discover new clothing styles, new landscapes, etc ... It's rather like an adventure!
But travel allows also to visit the most famous monuments like the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the Statue of Liberty in New York, the Sydney Opera House and many others.

Leaving his current lifestyle for another destination allows above all to rest and relax to release stress. Besides many centers of accommodation are very caring because they offer many activities for tourists like massage, kayaking, surfing, bike rides, etc ...
Traveling is obviously not free since we pay the cost of transportation, hotels, tours, etc ...
Tourism is therefore a huge economic driver and who create jobs creation across the world because it represents about 8% of jobs in the world.
Compared to other sectors, the main advantage of tourism is that tourism spending have a catalytic effect on the whole economy. This is the case of Brazil, which has seen its economy grow significantly thanks to tourist spending.

However, mass tourism does not benefit the local populations of the countries visited. We also note that the influx of tourists lead eventually to damage the tourist sites.

We can quote some impacts of mass tourism on the environment, such as excessive consumption of natural resources, pollution of various waste, noise, water pollution, delusional constructions in some hyper-traffic areas. This is the case in Thailand every year when we find thousands of trash on the beach or even in the Mont Blanc when we find wastes left by mountaineers, hikers or campers wild.

To limit this environmental disaster, some organizations offer a new form of tourism : it's the fair tourism, which reconciles the protection of nature and helping people to fight against poverty. Benefits of fair tourism are distributed fairly between travelers and the local populations that welcome visitors. They are generally used to maintain the sites, monuments and transportation.

Other peoples travel to study. Studies abroad are attracting more and more young people each year as there are many advantages. Indeed, going abroad can improve our language skills and therefore be more comfortable in the foreign country. In addition, knowing an additional language improves our CV and therefore better find work then. Studying abroad is also beneficial in our social life because you can meet new friends but also be more independent and mature. However, it is not always easy to stay longer abroad or even to predict stay there because it is possible that we encounter some problems ... Indeed, when we are away from home, sometimes we feel homesick because we are away from our family. But it can also be a budgetary reason for long-term accommodation are often very expensive ... We can also encounter health problems when it's an emergency and that was not our papers on us.

Finally, tourism is a very lucrative sector that leads the economic development of a country, but despite that it is a real pleasure, it is also the source of disasters in particular environmental disasters ... As to study abroad, many young people will find great satisfaction even if it is sometimes difficult to stay there because of the homesick that holds us.

 

Désolé je n'arrive pas à enlever le texte en gras...  

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

First of all I would like to give a definition of "Exchange." In true sense this word means the act of giving and receiving something in return. In our time, this word includes all forms of exchanges: trade, the exchange of information via the media, virtual exchanges via the Internet, cultural exchanges, the flow of immigrants, etc ...
The exchange of information has become easier thanks to new technologies and trade have allowed to expand our exchange markets. Furthermore some exchanges allow some countries to grow because they are open to the world.
The concept of space and exchanges evokes the theme of the discovery of a new place but also the fact of traveling to discover and learn new things. Moreover, the tourism sector plays an important role in different various countries because it is a source of economic and cultural exchanges. Others will not be content to travel but to stay there for their career plans. We can then ask this question "What can be the advantages and disadvantages of visiting a foreign country be? or Can they just be to study and or find a job / work?" < À moins que je n'y aie rien compris, ta question était mal articulée et pas très logique.


First we can admit that travelling is a wonderful experience because it allows enables us to see what is around us. Indeed, when we travel we discover new things: we taste new foods, we discover new clothing styles, new landscapes, etc ... It's rather like an adventure! < allow a surtout le sens d'autoriser
But travel also allows enables us to visit the most famous monuments like the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the Statue of Liberty in New York, the Sydney Opera House and many others.

Leaving his their current lifestyle for another destination allows travellers / people above all to rest and relax to release stress. Besides many centers of accommodation are very caring because they offer tourists many activities like massage, kayaking, surfing, bike rides, etc ...< Conseil : évite la forme impersonnelle que tu sembles ne pas maîtriser.
Traveling is obviously not free since we pay the cost of transportation, hotels, tours, etc ...
Tourism is therefore a huge economic driver and who  which creates jobs creation across the world because it represents about 8% of jobs in the world.
Compared to other sectors, the main advantage of tourism is that tourism spending have has a catalytic effect on the whole economy. This is the case of Brazil, which has seen its economy grow significantly thanks to tourist spending.

However, mass tourism does not benefit the local populations of the countries visited. We also note that the influx of tourists leads eventually to damage the tourist sites.<Si tu n'écris pas le -s final du présent simple dont le sujet est singulier, tu ne le prononceras pas et ce sera remarqué en tant que faute. C'est une faute qui pardonne encore moins à l'écrit, sois-y attentive.

We can quote some impacts of mass tourism on the environment, such as excessive consumption of natural resources, pollution of various waste, noise, water pollution, delusional constructions in some hyper-traffic areas. This is the case in Thailand every year when where we find thousands of trash on the beach or even in on the Mont Blanc when where we find wastes left by mountaineers, hikers or campers wild.<Est-ce que tu confondrais " quand " et " où " en français, par hasard ?

To limit this environmental disaster, some organizations offer a new form of tourism : it's the fair tourism which reconciles the protection of nature and helpings people to fight against poverty. Benefits of fair tourism are distributed fairly between travelers and the local populations that welcome visitors. They are generally used to maintain the sites, monuments and transportation.

Other peoples travel to study. Studies abroad are attracting more and more young people each every year as there are many advantages. Indeed, going abroad can improve our language skills and therefore be more comfortable in the foreign country. In addition, knowing an additional language improves our CV and therefore helps us better to find work then. Studying abroad is also beneficial in our social life because you we can meet new friends but also be more independent and mature. <Il faut être logique et ne pas mélanger les pronoms. However, it is not always easy to stay longer abroad or even to predict stay <? there because it is possible that we encounter some problems ... Indeed, when we are away from home, sometimes we feel homesick because we are away from our family. But it can also be a budgetary reason for long-term accommodations are often very expensive ... We can also encounter health problems when it's an emergency and that was we do not have our papers on with us.

Finally, tourism is a very lucrative sector that leads the economic development of a country, but despite that it is a real pleasure, it is also the source of disasters, in particular environmental disasters ... As to study regards studying  abroad, many young people will find great satisfaction even if it is sometimes difficult to stay there because of the homesickness that holds us.

Des révisions s'imposent, je te laisse trouver lesquelles.