Bac : Expression orale : Idea of progress/ Correction

[NoctisX55]

Bonsoir,

je souhaiterais que quelqu'un puisse corriger mon texte, s'il vous plaît. Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui m'aideront! Néanmoins je tiens à préciser que pour certains passages, en particulier pour l'introduction, je me suis aidé d'Internet.

I am going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. This technical, scientific or social advance contributes to make the world a better place. In order to illustrate this notion, I have chosen two document: [     ] and The African American Middle Class. I have chosen these documents because they shown an improvement of the blacks' situation thanks to Martin Luther King and the civil right movement.

       The first document I have chosen is a report from U.S Census Bureau entitled The African American Middle Class. It deals with the evolution of the Blacks' situation, and particularly with their growths and incomes. Indeed, it indicates that since the 60s, after civil right movement, the Black middle class has grown tremendously. And African Americans have moved into more white collar jobs. So, they are more educated than ever before and their communities is no longer connected to lower income. Among the 117 million households in America, 14.7 million are from Blcks. Of that, approximately 38,4% are in the middle class, with earnings between $35k-$100$ annually. Moreover by the 90s, middle class Black American communities had become well established. Communities such as South Dekalb and Baldwin Hills sprung up across the country and are still growing today. Through these informations the author wants to show us the social and economic improvement of the Blacks thanks to Martin Luther King and the civil right movement. Therefore it illustrates perfectly the notion idea of progress, since these people have changed the quality of life of an entire community. The second document is a/an [     ] from [     ] entitled [     ] . This [     ] is about the situation of the Blacks before and during the civil right movement. Indeed before the civil right movement and Martin Luther King, the Blacks were segregated because of the Jim Crow's laws. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Therefore some organizations like the Ku-Klux-Klan were born. The members of the Ku-Klux-Klan believed in the innate inferiority of the black race and organized lynchings against them. However in the 60s, ordinary citizens campaigned for equal rights and ultimately succeeded in ending legal segregation. It was the civil right movement “led” by Martin Luther King. Its strategies was based in non violent actions like boycotts, marches an sit-ins. Through these informations the author wants to show us that if people work together they can change the world for the better.

 

Finally both the report and the [     ] make us realize that Martin Luther King and the civil right movement contributed to an improvement in rights for Black people in the USA. A lot of progress has been made since they stood up for the rights of black Americans, there is no more segregation and even the American President is black. This can be considered as great progress for human rights. Nevertheless this article could also be linked to the notion of Myths and Heroes. Indeed for me and some people Martin Luther King is considered as a heroe. Before the civil rights movement, when whites were thought to be superior than all other races, and begin to segregate the Blacks. He decided it was time for change.

 

Sur ce je vous souhaite à tous une bonne journée!

 

P.S: Les carrés représentent des informations manquantes, que je dois récupérer, normalement, demain.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

I am going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. This technical, scientific or social advance contributes to make the world a better place. In order to illustrate this notion, I have chosen two documents: [     ] and The African American Middle Class. I have chosen these documents because they shown an improvement of the blacks' situation thanks to Martin Luther King and the civil right movement.

       The first document I have chosen is a report from the U.S Census Bureau entitled The African American Middle Class. It deals with the evolution of the Blacks' situation, and particularly with their growths and incomes. Indeed, it indicates that since the 60s, after the Civil Rights Movement, the black middle class has grown tremendously. And African Americans have moved into more white collar jobs. So, they are more educated than ever before and their communityies is no longer connected to lower income.< verbe singulier = sujet singulier, non ?  Among the 117 million households in America, 14.7 million are from Blacks'. Out of that these, approximately 38,4% are in the middle class, with earnings between $35k-$100$ annually. Moreover by the 90s, middle class Black American communities had become well established. Communities such as South Dekalb and Baldwin Hills sprung up across the country and are still growing today. Through these informations the author wants to show us the social and economic improvement of the Blacks thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement. Therefore it illustrates perfectly the notion idea of progress, since these people have changed the quality of life of an entire community. The second document is a/an [     ] from [     ] entitled [     ] . This [     ] is about the situation of the Blacks before and during the civil right movement.  Indeed before the civil right movement  and Martin Luther King, the Blacks were segregated because of the Jim Crow's laws. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Therefore some organizations like the Ku-Klux-Klan were born. The members of the Ku-Klux-Klan believed in the innate inferiority of the black race and organized lynchings against them. However in the 60s, ordinary citizens campaigned for equal rights and ultimately succeeded in ending legal segregation. It was the civil right movement  “led” by Martin Luther King. Its strategies was  <sujet pluriel + verbe singulier, bravo ! based in on nonviolent actions like boycotts, marches and sit-ins. Through these informations the author wants to show us that if people work together they can change the world for the better. <Revois tes sources sur l'émergence du KKK qui est très antérieure historiquement à celle que tu laisses entendre.

 

Finally both the report and the [     ] make us realize that Martin Luther King and the civil right movement  contributed to an improvement in rights for Black people in the USA. A lot of progress has been made since they stood up for the rights of black Americans, there is no more segregation and even the American President is black. This can be considered as great progress for human rights. Nevertheless this article could also be linked to with the notion of Myths and Heroes. Indeed for me and some people Martin Luther King is considered as a heroe. Before the civil rights movement,  when whites were thought to be superior than to all other races, and begin to segregate the Blacks. <Quel est le lien avec ce qui précède ? He decided it was time for change.

Un peu de lecture :

http://www.nps.gov/malu/learn/education/jim_crow_laws.htm

http://www.britannica.com/event/Jim-Crow-law

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Crow_laws

[NoctisX55]

Bonjour,

tout d'abord je tiens à vous remercier de votre immense aide. Voici ce que j'obtiens après avoir suivi vos conseils:

       I am going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. This technical, scientific or social advance contributes to make the world a better place. In order to illustrate this notion, I have selected two documents, that show an improvement of the blacks' situation thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Right Movement.

How does evolve the backs' situation between the XIX and XX century ?

 

      The first document is a collection of various articles. This collection is about the situation of the Blacks before and during the Civil Right Movement. In 1896, when the "Jim Crow Laws" were legalized, the Blacks were segregated. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Moreover the members of some organizations, like the Ku-Klux-Klan, organized lynchings against them. They believed in the innate inferiority of the black race. Before the Civil Right Movement, the Blacks were segregated because of the Jim Crow's laws. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Therefore some organizations like the Ku-Klux-Klan were born. The members of the Ku-Klux-Klan believed in the innate inferiority of the black race and organized lynchings against them. However in the 60s, ordinary citizens campaigned for equal rights and ultimately succeeded in ending legal segregation. It was the Civil Right Movement “led” by Martin Luther King. Its strategies were based on nonviolent actions like boycotts, marches and sit-ins. Through these informations the author wants to show us that if people work together they can change the world for the better.

The second document, I have chosen is a report from the U.S Census Bureau entitled The African American Middle Class. It deals with the evolution of the Blacks' situation, and particularly with their growths. Indeed, it indicates that since the 60s, after Civil Right Movement, the black middle class has grown tremendously. And African Americans have moved into more white collar jobs. So, they are more educated than ever before and their community is no longer connected to lower income. Among the 117 million households in America, 14.7 million are Blcks'. Out of these, approximately 38,4% are in the middle class, with earnings between $35k-$100$ annually. Moreover by the 90s, middle class Black American communities had become well established. Communities such as South Dekalb and Baldwin Hills sprung up across the country and are still growing today. Through these informations the author wants to show us the social and economic improvement of the Blacks thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Right Movement. Therefore it illustrates perfectly the idea of progress, since these people have changed the quality of life of an entire community.

 

        Finally both the report and the collection make us realize that Martin Luther King and the Civil Right Movement contributed to an improvement in rights for Black people in the USA. A lot of progress has been made since they stood up for the rights of black Americans, there is no more segregation and even the American President is black. This can be considered as great progress for human rights. Nevertheless this article could also be linked with the notion of Myths and Heroes, since for me and some people Martin Luther King is a heroe. When whites were thought to be superior to all other races, and begin to segregate the Blacks. He stood up for the blacks' community, and decided to change the world.

 

[Jean B]

Il y a 3 heures, NoctisX55 a dit :

Bonjour,

tout d'abord je tiens à vous remercier de votre immense aide. Voici ce que j'obtiens après avoir suivi vos conseils:

       I am going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. This technical, scientific or social advance contributes to make the world a better place. In order to illustrate this notion, I have selected two documents that show an improvement of the blacks' situation thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement.< As-tu une bonne acuité visuelle ?

How does evolve did the blacks' situation evolve between the XIX and XX centuries? < ordre des mots dans l'interrogative / les 19e et 20e siècles appartiennent au passé / 1 + 1 = 2 = pluriel. Relis-toi !

 

      The first document is a collection of various articles. This collection is about the situation of the Blacks before and during the Civil Right <Décidément ! Movement. In 1896, when the "Jim Crow Laws" were legalized, the Blacks were segregated. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Moreover the members of some organizations, like the Ku-Klux-Klan, organized lynchings against them. They believed in the innate inferiority of the black race. Before the Civil Right Movement, the Blacks were segregated because of the Jim Crow's laws. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Therefore some organizations like the Ku-Klux-Klan were born. The members of the Ku-Klux-Klan believed in the innate inferiority of the black race and organized lynchings against them. However in the 60s, ordinary citizens campaigned for equal rights and ultimately succeeded in ending legal segregation. It was the Civil Right Movement “led” by Martin Luther King. Its strategies were based on nonviolent actions like boycotts, marches and sit-ins. Through these informations the author wants to show us that if people work together they can change the world for the better.

The second document, I have chosen is a report from the U.S Census Bureau entitled The African American Middle Class. It deals with the evolution of the Blacks' situation and particularly with their growths. Indeed, it indicates that since the 60s, after xx Civil Right Movement, the black middle class has grown tremendously. And African Americans have moved into more white collar jobs. So they are more educated than ever before and their community is no longer connected to lower income. Among the 117 million households in America, 14.7 million are Blacks'. Out of these, approximately 38,4% are in the middle class with earnings between $35k-$100$ annually. Moreover by the 90s, middle class Black American communities had become well established. Communities such as South Dekalb and Baldwin Hills sprung up across the country and are still growing today. Through these informations the author wants to show us the social and economic improvement of the Blacks thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Right Movement. Therefore it illustrates perfectly the idea of progress since these people have changed the quality of life of an entire community. <Guéris-toi de la mauvaise habitude consistant à mettre une virgule devant un connecteur.

 

        Finally both the report and the collection make us realize that Martin Luther King and the Civil Right Movement contributed to an improvement in rights for Black people in the USA. A lot of progress has been made since they stood up for the rights of black Americans, there is no more segregation and even the American President is black. This can be considered as great progress for human rights. Nevertheless this article could also be linked with the notion of Myths and Heroes since for me and some people Martin Luther King is a heroe. When whites were thought to be superior to all other races, and began to segregate the Blacks. He stood up for the blacks' community, and decided to change the world.

Sois plus attentif et rigoureux quand tu te relis. Bonne continuation.

 

[NoctisX55]

Bonjour,

tout d'abord je vous prie de m'excuser de ma réponse extrêmement tardive. J'avais oublié de vous remercier une nouvelle fois pour votre aide (je pensez l'avoir fait mais ce n'était pas le cas) qui m'est vraiment précieuse. Donc MERCI!

Sur ce je vous souhaite une bonne journée et je vous prie de m'excuser une nouvelle fois de mes remerciements tardifs!

[Jean B]

Pas de souci. Ne dit-on pas "Mieux vaut tard que jamais" ?