Correction / Lettre

[NoctisX55]

Bonjour,
je souhaiterais que quelqu'un puisse m'aider à corriger ma lettre, s'il vous plaît. De plus, je souhaiterais que vous me donniez votre avis vis à vis du contenu de cette lettre. Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui prendront le temps de m'aider!

 

Mark HELPRIN

19^th street New York

PST/MM/32

September, 10^th 2000

 

 

Elisa HELPRIN

7^th street Paris

 

My dear Elisa,

 

First of all I'm sorry I haven't written before. I will tell you what I had been through on Ellis Island in order to live in America. As soon as I got here, I was taken from room to room and looked over carelessly. It was really frustrating and irritating, since I had the impression that I was treated like a vulgar cattle. In the first room, a military doctor lifted my eyelids with a button hook to see if I had trachoma. Seriously couldn't he use a suitable tool to do that ? Even now I am offended by his carelessly. Afterward a fat doctor asked me, if I could bend over. I was confused, so I asked him «why?». He told that it was in order to sing their national anthem, but he blackmailled me, since if I didn't bend over he will send me back to Serbia. I was seriously pissed off, and I prostested that I didn't come from Serbia. But he carried on with his blackmailling, he told me that he can send me there if he wanted. It was really frustating, but I eventually listened. Even now I am mad against his scornful attitude and his misuse of authority. Then I was sent in the next room, in this room I was examinated by a pretty woman. But she wasn't as beautiful as you. This woman asked me if I could read and write, in other she was checking my literacy. Naturally I replied that I could talk and write English, but also other languages like German, French, Russian, Hebrew... Obviously she got suspicious and asked me what I did for a living, I told her pompously that I wrote stories, essays, dissertations on Biblical poetry, political science … But she inquired how could I make a living by doing that. Of course, I told her that I couldn't. After she write a letter on my back with a piece of chalk, she told me to leave and she called the next person. At that time I was elated. I imagined that I will have a bright future with a gorgeous woman. And that I will live in a beautiful palace. But the reality was different. Nevertheless I think that I am a lucky man, since I could married you and I had many children.

 

Yours faithfully Mark.

 

Mark Helprin

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Mark HELPRIN

19^th street New York

PST/MM/32

September, 10^th 2000

Elisa HELPRIN

 

7^th street Paris

 

My dear Elisa,

First of all I'm sorry I haven't written earlier/before. I will tell you what I had have been through on Ellis Island in order to live in America.< Problème de concordance des temps As soon as I got here, I was taken from room to room and looked over carelessly. It was really frustrating and irritating, since I had the impression that I was treated like a vulgar cattle. In the first room, a military doctor lifted my eyelids with a button hook to see if I had trachoma. Seriously couldn't he use a suitable tool to do that? Even now I am still offended by his carelessly carelessness. Afterwards/Then/Later a fat doctor asked me if I could bend over. I was confused, so I asked him «why?». He told me that it was in order to sing their national anthem but he blackmailed me, since if I didn't bend over he will would send me back to Serbia.< Concordance encore I was seriously pissed off and I prostested that I didn't come from Serbia. But he carried on with his blackmailing, he told me that he can could send me there if he wanted. It was really frustating but I eventually listened obeyed. Even now I am mad against his scornful attitude and his misuse of authority. Then I was sent in to the next room, in this room where I was examinated by a pretty woman. But she wasn't as beautiful as you. This woman asked me if I could read and write, in other words she was checking my literacy. Naturally I replied that I could talk and write English but also other languages like German, French, Russian, Hebrew... Obviously she got suspicious and asked me what I did for a living, I told her pompously that I wrote stories, essays, dissertations on Biblical poetry, political science … But she inquired how I could make a living by doing that.<C'est une interrogation indirecte donc l'ordre des mots reste celui d'une déclarative ie sujet + verbe, pas l'inverse. Of course, I told her that I couldn't. After Then/Finally/Eventually she write wrote <Verbe irrégulier a letter on my back with a piece of chalk, she told me to leave and she called the next person. At that time I was elated. I imagined that I will would have a bright future with a gorgeous woman and that I will would live in a beautiful palace. But the reality was different. Nevertheless I think that I am a lucky man since I could married marry you and I had have many children. <Règle élémentaire : auxiliaire modal + Base Verbale (infinitif sans to)

 

Yours faithfully Your loving husband, Mark. <Logiquement, il est en effet peu probable qu'il ait écrit l'équivalent de "Je vous prie d'agréer, Madame, l'expression de mes salutations distinguées".

- Revois le mécanisme de la concordance des temps au passé. Pour une fois, elle fonctionne exactement comme en français. Ex 1 : Il pensait que ce serait plus facile = He thought it would be easier. Au prétérit (imparfait) dans la principale correspond le present conditional (conditionnel présent) dans la subordonnée. Ex 2 Il s'était dit que cela aurait été plus facile = He had told himself it would have been easier. Au past perfect/pluperfect (plus-que-parfait) dans la principale correspond le past conditional (conditionnel passé) dans la subordonnée.

Bonne continuation.

 

[NoctisX55]

Bonjour, une nouvelle fois permettez-moi de vous présenter mes plus sincères remerciements pour votre aide . Sinon je vous suis particulièrement reconnaissant pour l'explication de mes erreurs, ça m'empêchera de les reproduire.

Sur ce je vous  souhaite une bonne journée !

[Jean B]

Toujours avec plaisir.