Notion d'espaces et d'échanges/Correction

[NoctisX55]

Bonjour,
je souhaiterais que quelqu'un puisse m'aider à corriger mon résumé, s'il vous plaît. Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui prendront le temps de m'aider!

This document can be introduced in the notion of spaces and exchanges, since it describes the "exchanges" between the settlers and the outlaws. The outlaws wanted to own a new land and to impose their laws, which consisted to kill all the children and men. But to keep the woman in order to appease their desires. Futhermore since the settlers are mostly farmers and not gunmen, all they can do was to flee from this threat. Thefore this document show us the notion of "exhanges" with the culture that the outlaws want to impose. But also the notion of spaces, because they acquired a new land.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

This document can be introduced in fit into the notion of spaces and exchanges since it describes the "exchanges" between the settlers and the outlaws. The outlaws settlers wanted to own a new land and whereas the outlaws wanted to impose their laws which consisted to kill in killing all the children and men but to keep kept the women (in order) to appease their sexual appetites/desires. Futhermore, since the settlers are were mostly farmers and not gunmen, all they can could do was to flee from this threat. Thefore this document shows us the notion of "exchanges" with the culture that the outlaws wanted to impose. But also the notion of spaces because they<? acquired a new land.

* Sauf erreur de ma part, tu te "mélanges les pinceaux" plusieurs fois entre colons et hors-la-loi car je doute que ces derniers aient jamais trimé pour défricher des terres. J'ai donc rectifié le tir une fois ligne 2 mais t'ai laissé le soin de le faire plus loin ligne 6.

* Un récit d'événements passés se fait toujours au prétérit, ne le perds pas de vue.

[NoctisX55]

Bonsoir,

 

tout d'abord je tiens à vous remercier de votre aide je me souviendrais que lorsque je parle du déroulement d'un récit je le ferais au prétérit ^^. Sinon voilà ce que j'obtiens après correction :

This document can fit into the notion of spaces and exchanges since it describes "exchanges" between the settlers and the outlaws. The settlers wanted to own a new land  whereas the outlaws wanted to impose their laws which consisted in killing all children and men but kept the women in order to appease their sexual desires. Futhermore, since the settlers were mostly farmers and not gunmen, all they could do was to flee from this threat. Thefore this document shows us the notion of "exchanges" with the culture that the outlaws wanted to impose to the settlers. But also the notion of spaces because the settlers wanted to acquire a new land in order to began a new life in the state of freedom, the USA.

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

tout d'abord je tiens à vous remercier de votre aide je me souviendrais que lorsque je parle du déroulement d'un récit je le ferais au prétérit ^^. Sinon voilà ce que j'obtiens après correction :

This document can fit into the notion of spaces and exchanges since it describes "exchanges" between the settlers and the outlaws. The settlers wanted to own a new land  whereas the outlaws wanted to impose their laws which consisted in killing all children and men but kept the women in order to appease their sexual desires. Futhermore, since the settlers were mostly farmers and not gunmen, all they could do was to flee from this threat. Thefore this document shows us the notion of "exchanges" with the culture that the outlaws wanted to impose to on the settlers. But also the notion of spaces because the settlers wanted to acquire a new land in order to began begin a new life in the state of freedom, the USA.

* Tu étais proche du sans-faute cette fois mais à l'avenir tâche d'éviter le genre d'horreur qui consiste à employer une forme verbale conjuguée après la préposition (in order) to, c'est carrément monstrueux. RE--LIS--TOI !

[NoctisX55]

Bonsoir,

d'accord la prochaine fois je ferais beaucoup plus attention . Sinon, je tiens à vous remercier une nouvelle fois de votre aide!

 

Sur ce je vous souhaite une bonne soirée!

[Jean B]

Avec plaisir.