Oral À Corriger

[charlotte62]

Bonjour, pourrais-je avoir une correction de mon oral d'anglais pour le bac svp!! merci

Myths and Heroes

I’m going to talk about the notion of myths and heroes. A hero is a person admired for his achievements, noble qualities and great courage. He or she is a legendary character who has done extraordinary exploits. We may ask the question : How have myths and heroes changed our lives?

A myth or hero may have a cultural influence. In this category, we can talk about Steve Jobs. He became a real hero in his time. He had an ordinary life story but he was a genius. He overcame a lot of hardships, he was vulnerable as other people, for example he left school, fought to make his company work, he was fired and had a lot of health problems. Steve Jobs was an inventor, he improved and advanced the computer and the mobile phone industry. He can be considered a hero because to make the top he was a hard-worker, career-driven and strong-willed. Today he remains a role model, an example of success.

There are heroes who have a social influence. In this category, I would like to talk about Emma Watson’s fight for gender equality.

Gender equality is the measurable equal representation of women and men. Gender equality does not imply that women and men are the same, but that they have equal value and should be accorded equal treatment.

That’s why Emma Watson has launched a campaign called “He for She”.

The more she has spoken about feminism the more she has realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating.

There is a part that sums up very well why I admire her speech.

She said “These rights I consider to be human rights but I am one of the lucky ones. My life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn’t love me less because I was born a daughter. My school did not limit me because I was a girl. My mentors didn’t assume I would go less far because I might give birth to a child one day.”

It’s thanks to people like her that things can change. I am totally agree with her arguments.

Finally, we can identify a third category of myths and heroes. Today a hero is a person who is characterized by their bravery, and their mental or physical strength. A hero can be a main character in a movie, a story or a poem. A hero has many qualities, he or she is generous, loyal, just, determined, brave and courageous. A hero can also be an illustrious person who is venerated and idealized. These can be everyday heroes like firemen, policemen or soldiers. They are considered heroes by many people. They risk their life for other people. An example, in 09/11/2001 the Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists. Firemen, soldiers, policemen and other people, who had to help many people during this horrible disaster died and are considered heroes. Thanks to theirs courage, many people survived this disaster.

To conclude, we can say that heroes can changed our lives. They have a capacity to change the minds of many people and to help them. They do courageous things, they fight for something or they want to serve others. They represent a model, an ideal human-being.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Merci de m'avoir donné à lire du bon anglais, c'est réconfortant.

Juste quelques petits "dérapages" à te signaler :

Gender equality does not imply that women and men are the same but that they have equal value and should be accorded granted equal treatment. < "accord", connais pas

I am totally agree with her arguments. <to agree/disagree with sb/sth = être/ne pas être/ d'accord avec qqn/qqch

They risk their life lives for other people An like for example in on 09/11/2001 when the Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists. …Thanks to theirs courage… -le nom COD, commun à plusieurs possesseurs, se met logiquement au pluriel, ce que d'ailleurs tu fais plus loin.

- attention à éviter les calques du français

- préposition 'on' devant une date précise

- their, l'adjectif possessif, pas le pronom

To conclude, we can say that heroes can changed our lives. < est-ce un effet de la fatigue ? le modal est toujours suivi d'une base verbale

Bonne chance !