wenaij Posté(e) le 12 janvier 2004 Signaler Posté(e) le 12 janvier 2004 bonsoir à tous !! Je suis nouveau sur le site. Excusez moi de poser des questions qui semblent inutiles mais je me demandais s'il était possible que vous me corrigiez un essay de 200 mots environ Merci d'avance.
XXL65 Posté(e) le 12 janvier 2004 Signaler Posté(e) le 12 janvier 2004 Bin, donne toujours, je vai voir ce que je peut faire....Je me debrouille pas mal tu verra, et en plus je conais des mecs bilingues au cas où !!!
wenaij Posté(e) le 12 janvier 2004 Auteur Signaler Posté(e) le 12 janvier 2004 Voici le début de ma prose :-) ( en fait le sujet : faire une suite à une histoire) regle du sujet en autre : utilser les formes bibliques pour les tutoitements et vouvoiement ) She heard once more muffled banging but it was not the guy on the cellar, it was her heart. She was descending stairs cautionly, clinging on to a banister with her shaking hands. She was going on. She hold her breath and was hearing for some noise. There was nothing but she smelled blood. "Where are thou?" she asked "make noise, I am trying to help. Please do not try to fool me" she yelled. She was walking...suddenly, she hurt something, a feet? she thougt :" was his life ebbing away?" then she decided to ask:"Who are thou?" but she knew there would be no response. She bended down, touched a strange symetric and tiny object. Something sticked her finger. At this moment she knew !!
wenaij Posté(e) le 13 janvier 2004 Auteur Signaler Posté(e) le 13 janvier 2004 Voila quelque changements avec des corrections... She heard once more muffled banging but it was not the guy in the cellar, it was her heart. She was descending stairs cautionly, clinging on to a banister with her shaking hands. She was going on. She hold her breath and was hearing for some noise. There was nothing but she smellt blood. "Where are thou?" she asked "make noise, I am trying to help. Please do not try to fool me" she yelled. She was walking slowly...suddenly, she hurt something, a foot? but no response. She bent down with hesitation touched a strange, symetric object made in metal with some points. It sticked her finger. At this moment she knew !! She walked precipitately near the stairs, called the eldest boy: "Charles! I am in the cellar, the sheriff is hurt, help me". Charles was eight but he reacted in a clever way, ran to the cellar and helped his mum... The following day. Sheriff Haines explained what it had happened : " racism makes them raving mad. I protected the Black, James because they wanted to lynch him. So we hope together to warn sheriff Cook who is in the town closed to ours. Moreover, they wanted to kill me! and Bidwell believes that I am dead." he paused " I hope Cook will come to deliver my town from lunacy" The Black reached the town with pain, he met Cook and told him the situation in his town. He arrived at the farm with some men who helped him to arreste Bidwell and his boys. luv.
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