Correction - Audio tape

[Kennylouis]

Bonjour, bonsoir à tous.

J'aimerais, s'il vous plait, que vous me corrigiez ce texte qui va m'aider à faire une vidéo que je dois envoyer à mon professeur mercredi. J'y ai pris du temps

Merci d'avance, bonne fin d'année à tous !

My name is Matthew Bieber. But when i will be a model it will be Matt, because it just sounds better. I am nineteen and I was from L.A for five years but today I live near Paris for continue my art studies.

I gratuade High School in 2009 and I was the top of my classe. I have a girlfriend for two years : her name is Katy.You must think I have a perfect life but I have already hit rock bottom : indeed, i have lost my family one year ago during the sinking of the Costa Concordia. So I have understood the life is not a bed of roses.

That is why, my fighting spirit and me would wish participated at the tv reality America's Next Top Model Men's.

As you can see, I am not the self-centered man by excellence, I love the nature and the animals. So I spend time with my dog for healing.

Otherwise, I hate video games because I find it unnecessary. But my girlfriend love them.

It should be noted that I like take photographies but especially be behind the lens

I like to do anything that expresses my creative side and I think that the modeling suits me.

I have many pair of glasses : I think the best way if you can change your look.

I have never participated an a program of reality television.

But living in community for 2 months doesn't scare me. In general I know be friendly and kind for better deceive others.

I will tell them that the competition is too difficult for them. (hahaha)

I know I may be too eccentric sometimes but i'm also very hard-working.

I am a determined person.

I like the beautiful things.

I love do presents, I have no limits, I am very generous.

But I am not the kind of person who has to call home everyday.

Most people say that I tend to be superficial but I disagree !

I enjoy life and my friends always say I'm very optimistic!

Because I am crazy about the zen philosophy, I think meeting other people is very important in life.

A sentence summarizes my mind

« Dream so damn big that people laugh in your face. Then prove them all wrong! »

I've overcome so many hardships including the loss of my family so today I have really the envious of success.

I've been travelling for a few months in the entire world, now that's why I know that, wherever we are, whether we are rich or poor, the life is easy for anybody.

Why should you be America's Next top model man ?

Firslty, I am not afraid to try anything. A model needs to be a product : it is therefore necessary to project an image akin to perfection. And me I embody the perfection.

I will follow each of your advice. My tattoo can answer your question. Choose the difference. Choose me.

[Jean B]

Bonjour et bienvenue sur le forum.

My name is Matthew Bieber but, when i will be I am a model, it will be Matt because it just sounds better. <=Dans la subordonnée de temps introduite par when/as soon as, etc., le verbe se met au présent. Seul le verbe de la principale se met au futur. Mémorise cette règle importante. I am nineteen and I was / stayed from in L.A for five years but today I live near Paris for to / in order to continue my art studies. <=Le but s'exprime toujours par to / in order to + BV , JAMAIS par for + BV. C'est une énormité dont tu dois te guérir illico.

I graduated High School in 2009 and I was the top student of in my class.<=Souffrirais-tu de dysorthographie ?

I have had a girlfriend for two years: her name is Katy. <=Révise l'emploi du present perfect, c'est également important. Au moment où tu dis "J'ai une petite amie depuis 2 ans", c'est le résultat actuel lié à un événement antérieur, sans doute votre première rencontre. Dans ce cas l'anglais n'emploie jamais le présent mais le present perfect. You must think I have a perfect life but I have already hit rock bottom: indeed, I have lost my family one year ago during the sinking of the Costa Concordia. So I have understood the life is not a bed of roses. <Jamais " the " devant un nom employé dans la généralité.

That is why my fighting spirit and me I would wish like to participated at take part in the reality TV show America's Next Men Top Model. <=Dans ce cas de figure, et contrairement au français qui emploie le pronom complément, l'anglais emploie logiquement le pronom sujet. C'est à retenir.

As you can see, I am not the self-centered man by excellence, I love the nature and the animals. <=Voir plus haut. So I spend time with my dog for my healing / to heal.

Otherwise, I hate video games because I find think it they are unnecessary. But my girlfriend loves them.<=Méfie-toi (comme de la peste) des calques du français. En anglais, find a surtout le sens de trouver qqch que l'on a perdu.

- s final au présent simple d'un verbe dont le sujet est au singulier. Tu l'as appris en Sixième mais c'est toujours valable aujourd'hui !

It should be noted that I like to take photographies but especially be behind the lens <=Je ne suis pas sûr de comprendre là. Si tu aimes prendre des photos tu te trouves bien déjà derrière l'objectif, non ?Même si tu n'es pas forcément narcissique, n'as-tu pas plutôt voulu dire devant ? Alors rectifie.

I like to do anything that expresses my creative side and I think that the modelling suits me.<=Voir plus haut.

I have many pair of glasses: I think it is the best way if you can change your look.

I have never participated taken part in a program of reality television.

But living in a commune for 2 months doesn't scare me. In general I know how to be friendly and kind for to better deceive others.

I will tell them that the competition is too difficult for them. (hahaha)

I know I may be too eccentric sometimes but I'm also very hard-working.

I am a determined person.

I like the beautiful things.

I love to do make presents, I have no limits, I am very generous.

But I am not the kind of person who has to call home everyday.

Most people say that I tend to be superficial but I disagree!

I enjoy life and my friends always say I'm very optimistic!

Because I am crazy about the zen philosophy, I think meeting other people is very important in life.

A sentence summarizes my mind

« Dream so damn big that people laugh in your face. Then prove them all wrong! »

I've overcome so many hardships including the loss of my family so today I have really the envious of want / long for success.

I've been travelling for a few months in the entire world, now that's why I know that, wherever we are, whether we are rich or poor, the life is easy for anybody.

Why should you be America's Next top model man?

Firstly, I am not afraid to of trying anything. A model needs to be a product: it is therefore necessary to project an image akin to perfection. And me I embody the perfection. <=" Moi je " se rend simplement en accentuant le pronom sujet " I ".

I will follow each of your pieces of advice. My tattoo can answer your question. Choose the difference. Choose me.

[Kennylouis]

Merci beaucoup, ta correction et tes explications m'ont permis d'avancer dans mon travail.

C'est vrai que j'ai du mal avec la grammaire anglaise, à ma connaissance je ne suis pas dysorthographique cependant je suis dyspraxique (peut-être un lien ? Ou alors étais-je simplement pas assez concentré...).

Je prends en note tes remarques qui me permettent d'améliorer mon niveau (surtout que si je ne veux pas ramer en CPGE!), comment pourrais-je progresser en grammaire en anglais ? J'ai un bled anglais sur mon bureau que je ne sais pas comment l'utiliser étant donné que j'ai un retard important dans les fondamentaux de la langue.

Bonne année 2013 !

[Jean B]

Je prends en note tes remarques qui me permettent d'améliorer mon niveau (surtout que si je ne veux pas ramer en CPGE!), comment pourrais-je progresser en grammaire en anglais ? J'ai un bled anglais sur mon bureau que je ne sais pas comment l'utiliser étant donné que j'ai un retard important dans les fondamentaux de la langue. Sans rien ôter aux mérites du Bled, je crains qu'il soit insuffisant dans ton cas. Toi seul es à même de cerner tes manques actuels et de les sérier en fonction de leur importance décroissante. Pour des révisions efficaces, je recommande souvent Le Robert & Nathan, Grammaire de l'anglais (Nathan) car il est facile à utiliser, un peu à la manière d'un dictionnaire, et propose des exercices d'entraînement avec leurs corrigés. Si la grammaire papier te rebute, tu peux t'inscrire sur http://anglaisfacile.com et y exploiter à ton rythme les multiples ressources dont ce site regorge. Bonne année à toi itou et bon courage. Bonne année 2013 !