exposé sur le stress au travail

[massiva11]

Messages fusionnés et correction donnée " en direct ".

JRB

Bonjour à tous,

J'aurais besoin d'aide s'ils vous plait pour corriger mon texte sachant que je dois passer à l'oral dans 5 jours.

Merci beaucoup.

Voici le texte :

Stress may have many different causes:

from physical ones ( such as fear of something dangerous), from emotional ones ( such as worry over the family or job), by overwork ( work or studies), anxiety about exams, money, job security, going to a new school, moving to a new house, getting married : these are all a source of stress.

33,4 million Europeans currently suffer a major depression and mental health problems.

The major/principal sources of stress at work are:

interdependence between a person's task and the tasks of others, role demand ( the particular role that a person plays in the firm can be a factor of stress too, role conflicts create expectations that may be hard to satisfy. Organizational structure, excessive rules and lack of participation in decision that affect an emplyee are some potential sources of stress. Organizational leadership, some executive officers establish unrealistic pressures. Individual factors, problems with the family, partners, diseases. psychological and physical violence at work ( aggressive management). <Cela vous a un petit côté " inventaire à la Prévert ", non ?

In 2007 there were 9 suicides in at Renault's and PCA's.

According to experts on stress in the workplace, Renault is far from alone. Rival car-maker Peugeot and French utility company EDF have also experienced similar traumatic deaths in 2007.

According to official statistics, 300 people a year roughly one a day commit suicide in France due to the pressure of work.

the Increasing reliance on technology is one of the biggest causes of related depression.

How to reduce stress at work

Managing stress, we can reduce stress by listening to relaxing music or having fun at the work place. Nouvelle phrase> Doing aerobics activity or aromatherapy can be useful, doing relaxation techniques such as meditation, hypnosis, and biofeedback. Expanding the social support network, therefore, can be a means for tension reduction. Increasing communication with employees reduces ambiguity and role conflicts. By giving these employees a voice in the decisions that directly affect their job performances. Management can increase employee control and reduce this role stress.

Pas de conclusion générale ?

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Ton texte ne présentant pas de fautes majeures, et bien qu'il s'agisse d'un oral, prends l'habitude de toujours mettre la majuscule partout où elle s'impose : (leur absence saute aux yeux dans la correction)

- au premier mot d'une phrase, peu importe sa nature

- à tous les noms propres ainsi qu'aux adjectifs et noms de nationalités (à mémoriser)

Au niveau de la construction et de la ponctuation, tu dois savoir que l'anglais ne sécrit pas " au kilomètre "! Le deuxième paragraphe en est un exemple édifiant et si tu le disais tel quel, (avant correction) tu courrais un grand risque d'asphyxie. D'où l'importance de la construction. À l'avenir, construis des phrases plus courtes, ménage-toi des temps de respiration.

Bonne chance pour ton oral.