Correction Anglais

[dellina]

Bonjour à tous , je voulais si c'est possible de me corriger mes fautes je devais faire la suite d'une histoire

More and more alix's anguish was felt in the house. Her foots start to swell and to turn red , her hurt wrung , her hand were cold .She was out of breath, captive of her own body.

Alix knelt down near the door, she was panicstricken, moral ravaged by scared and physical darkened by sadness , near her there is unknown, killer, Charles.

Charles was montionless, and stared his wife by a mysterious and strange look .

The cigar in the hand , he cast a derisive smile to his suitor and said:

" why your complexion is wan, you fell frightened , afraid,sweetheart , what happend,? As usual you say to me I love you or any sweet words but now you seem to dislike me .

Tetanize by the fear, Alix can't answer to charles's speech, salty pearl rolled in her cheeks , she couldn't move , she sobed.

Chales understood quickly what it was happen , he start to scream in all the house such a devil in hell.

He trowed his wife near fire-place,and slap her

" you know !it's that ?, treacherous!" he retorted

Charles's body sweated , his voice changed , his look became harsh , his eyes were filled craze

He shook his wife who was in low spirits .

All lights put out , a frosty wind struck the house , Charles take alixe and strangled her with all his strengh.

The beautiful creature died , Charle's eyes were fill of tears .He kised Alixe's hand , took a knef and kill himself.

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

Étant donné que tu es en Terminale, je vais juste te baliser en rouge les mots qui contiennent des fautes, soit d'orthographe, soit de syntaxe.

À toi de te relire attentivement pour repérer et comprendre les fautes afin de faire les corrections qui s'imposent.

2 indications cependant :

- tu mélanges le présent et le passé et ce n'est pas bon. Le temps du récit en anglais, c'est le prétérit.

- Enfin, x-x signale une omission. À toi de trouver laquelle.

Bon travail.

Bonjour à tous,

Je voulais si c'est possible de que l'on me corrige mes fautes. Je devais faire la suite d'une histoire.

More and more alix's anguish was felt in the house. Her foots start to swell and to turn red, her hurt wrung, her hand were cold .She was out of breath, captive of her own body.

Alix knelt down near the door, she was panic-stricken, moral ravaged by scared and physical darkened by sadness, near her there is unknown killer, Charles.

Charles was montionless, and stared x-x his wife by a mysterious and strange look .

The cigar in the hand, he cast a derisive smile to his suitor and said:

" why your complexion is wan, you fell frightened, afraid, sweetheart, what happenx-xd? As usual you say to me I love you or any sweet words but now you seem to dislike me.

Tetanize by the fear, Alix can't answer to charles's speech, salty pearl rolled in her cheeks , she couldn't move, she sobed.

Chales understood quickly what it was happen, he start to scream in all the house such a devil in hell.

He trowed his wife near fire-place and slap her.

" you know !it's that?, treacherous!" he retorted

Charles's body sweated, his voice changed, his look became harsh, his eyes were filled x-x craze.

He shook his wife who was in low spirits.

All x-x lights put out, a frosty wind struck the house, Charles take alixe and strangled her with all his strength.

The beautiful creature died, Charle's eyes were fill of tears. He kised Alixe's hand, took a knef and kill himself.

[dellina]

Je voulais si c'est possible de que l'on me corrige mes fautes. Je devais faire la suite d'une histoire.

More and more Alix's anguish was felt in the house. Her feet started to swell and to turn red, her heart wrung, her hand were cold .She was out of breath, captive of her own body.

Alix knelt down near the door, she was panic-stricken, her mind ravaged by scare

and her physique darkened by sadness, near her there was , unknown ,killer, Charles.

Charles was montionless, and stared to his wife with a mysterious and strange look .

The cigar in hand, he cast a derisive smile to his suitor and said:

" why your complexion appear wan, you seem frightened, afraid, sweetheart, what happen? As usual you said to me I love you or any sweet words but now you seem to dislike me.

Tetanized by fear, Alix couldn't answer Charles's speech, salty pearls rolled to her cheeks , she couldn't move, she sobbed.

Chales understood quickly what's it's happening he started to scream in all the house like a devil in hell.

He throwed his wife near fire-place and slapped her.

" you know !it's that?, treacherous!" he retorted

Charles's body sweated, his voice changed, his look became harsh, his eyes were filled of tears.

He shook his wife who was in low spirits.

All of the lights put out, a frosty wind struck the house, Charles took Alixe and strangled her with all his strength.

The beautiful creature died, Charle's eyes were full of tears. He kissed Alixe's hand, took a knife and killed himself.

Ps :Je suis en première non en terminal je me suis trompée dans la fiche

[dellina]

Ravie de t'avoir retrouver c'est mona du forum be-student tu te rappelles de moi non?

le texte est bien?

[Jean B]

Ravie de t'avoir retrouver retrouvé c'est mona du forum be-students tu te rappelles de moi non ?

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Je voulais si c'est possible de que l'on me corrige mes fautes. Je devais faire la suite d'une histoire.

More and more Alix's anguish was felt more and more in the house. Her feet started to swell and (to) turn red, her heart wrung, her hands were cold. She was out of breath, captive of her own body.

Alix knelt down near the door, she was panic-stricken, her mind ravaged by scare and her physique body darkened by sadness, near her, unnoticed, there was unknown, a killer, Charles.

Charles was montionless, and stared to at his wife with a mysterious mysteriously and strange look strangely.

The A cigar in his hand, he cast a derisive smile to at his suitor and said:

" why does your complexion appear wan, you seem frightened, afraid, sweetheart, what happens? As usual you said to told me I love you or any sweet words but now you seem to dislike me.

Tetanized by Paralyzed with fear, Alix couldn't answer Charles's speech, salty pearls tears rolled to down her cheeks, she couldn't move, she sobbed.

Chales understood quickly what's it's was happening he started to scream in all the house like a devil in hell.

He throwed threw his wife near the fire-place and slapped her.

" you know! it's that Is that it?, treacherous!" he retorted

Charles's body sweated, his voice changed, his look became harsh, his eyes were filled of with tears.

He shook his wife who was in low spirits.

All of the lights put went out, a frosty wind struck the house, Charles took Alixe and strangled her with all his strength.

The beautiful creature died, Charles's eyes were full of tears. He kissed Alixe's hand, took a knife and killed himself.

[dellina]

oui mais j'aimerais savoir si la structure du texte est bonne?

[Jean B]

Oui mais j'aimerais savoir si la structure du texte est bonne.

[dellina]

Edit modération : messages fusionnés

oui je penserais à le modifier si le texte est bien écrit ?

_____________________________________________

JRB, ça ne te dérange pas de me corriger ça c'est pour l'intégrer à la fin du texte

Warm tears flowed, on the breast of the young woman, she flew away little by little , taken by the wind, and murdered by the man who she loves so much;

Charles, mad with rage, crazy about madness, crazy about love and despair took a very sharp knife and killed himself .

There are two carpes which flotted in puddle of blood , both of them flew away in two unlike worlds , leving behind them deception, love, wish and nonsense

_____________________________________________

en gros je voulais savoir si ce job mérite un 20?

[Jean B]

Edit modération : messages fusionnés

oui je penserais à le modifier si le texte est bien écrit ?

[dellina]

aloes la question globale que je veux te demander depuis le début c'est si ce travail mérite un 20/20?

[Jean B]

aloes la question globale que je veux te demander depuis le début c'est si ce travail mérite un 20/20?

[dellina]

lol ok donc j'ai compris la réponse c'est non c'est bien cela?

je sais pas maintenant y'a plus de fautes en anglais, vu que tu les a corriger , c'est quoi qui va pas ?

[Jean B]

lol ok donc j'ai compris la réponse c'est non c'est bien cela?

je sais pas maintenant y'a plus de fautes en anglais, vu que tu les a corriger , c'est quoi qui va pas ?

[dellina]

JRB, il serait préférable que je le recommence mais directement en anglais que en français oui et j'essaye d'améliorer mon français je suis turque au départ ça en fait pas longtemps que je suis en France!

[dellina]

Alix, with a glass of tea in the hand looked mysteriously, suspiciously and weirdly to her husband and said:

"Barley surgar,I'm exhausted, I go to sleep"

Alix taked up, little by little stairs of dark house , and all of a sudden, the phone rang.

Panic-sticken , and anguish, she started to go down stairs at full speed.

A weird voice , started to threaten her to kill her husband if she didn't deposite a suit-case monney in the village's wood.She seem to know this mysterious voice, which fear her.

Alixe , moved her head on all sides, became whitish and perspire a lot .She looked for her husband in all the house corner, and whisper :

"Charles , where are you my teddy bear, Mr Lemaitre I love you"

Alixe threw down in the car with a suit-case of money in hand .

She started the car , and ran quickly.Her heart wrung, out of breath she felt come death .

It was cold , and raining .Alixe stopped and parted of in wood, and there she saw her husband .

Motionless like a stone ,he stared her , approached more and more of her .

Puted out of breath , she ran , called of help , she was alone front her killer, her husband .

All of a sudden, she didn't have strenght and she fell.

Her husband, caught her , teared her hair , sruck and rape her .

With all his muscles,he strangle her and so she died under his arms.

He took her body , cut it in bit and dug a hole where he put the body divided up.

In the moonlight , he gat away of wood , cloud and cover of blood .He threw himself in the lake and finish by died just as his madness

Je sais que c'est nul mais je n'y arrive pas du tout , je suis à bout en plus c'est la dernière note du trimestre