Corrigez Moi Svp

[1st]

salut tt le monde,

voilà j'aimerais qu'on me corrige svp, au niveau de la syntaxe,des fautes d'orthographe et du temps employés.et si vous trouvez des meilleures tournures de phrases, écrivez les.

I have very appreciated the film Fahrenheit 9/11 because the director Michael Moore knows how to balance humour and seriousness to create a good documentary.

In this documentary , we can find a few revelations, for example the falsification of the presidential elections .

There are many revolting scenes : the methods of soldiers recruitments, the police tries to convince people from working class families to join the army for that their studies will be funded; Georges w bush doesn’t act when he learns the two twins tower are destructed by terrorists planes, instead of acting, he continues to read a story to a class; then Bush went on holidays instead of working; the American soldiers are glad when he succeed to kill a Irakian…

This film moves, as well by the hardness of the images as by the extreme sincerity of stories, of this mother who lost her son in Iraq on behalf of Bush , of this Iraqi woman who requests Allah to avenge her following the destruction for her house.

And there are also funny moments that I liked.

However, I don’t agree on essential point, it is when he presents Iraq as if it were a nice place before the war. this was a totalitarian regime, run by a brutal dictator , what it proves M.Moore doesn’t like Georges bush and so he puts images that favours his point of view.

Nevertheless, I like this film.

merci d'avance

[m4s4mun3]

salut tt le monde,

voilà j'aimerais qu'on me corrige svp, au niveau de la syntaxe,des fautes d'orthographe et du temps employés.et si vous trouvez des meilleures tournures de phrases, écrivez les.

I have very appreciated the film Fahrenheit 9/11 because the director Michael Moore knows how to balance humour and seriousness  to create a good documentary.

In this documentary , we can find  ("a few " je crois que c'est faux a confirmer) few revelations, for example the falsification of the presidential elections .

There are many revolting scenes as (pour l'esthétique syntaxique tu devrais mettre "as" plutot que ":") the methods of soldiers recruitments, the police tries to convince people from working class families to join the army for that their studies will be funded; Georges W. bush doesn’t act when he learns the two twins towers are destructed ("have been destroyed" pour la voix passive je crois) by terrorists planes, instead of acting, he continues to read a story to a class; then Bush went on holidays instead of working; the American soldiers are glad when he succeed to kill an (on dit "a" pour quand c'est devant une consonne et "an" pour les voyelles ) Irakian…

This film moves("moves" n'est pas le terme approprié je pense, tendance a confirmer), as well by the hardness of the images as by the extreme sincerity of stories, of this mother who lost her son in Iraq on behalf of Bush , of this Iraqi woman who requests Allah to avenge her following the destruction for her house.

And there are also funny moments that I liked.

However, I don’t agree with the essential point, it is when he presents Iraq as if it were a nice place before the war. This was a totalitarian regime, run by a brutal dictator, what it proves M.Moore doesn’t like Georges bush and so he puts images that favours his point of view.

Nevertheless, I like this film.

merci d'avance

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[1st]

merci bcp pour ta réponse!c'est gentil de ta part!

et si vous trouvez d'autres fautes, n'hésitez à me répondre please!!

[1st]

j'ai corrigé quelques fautes, si vous en trouvez d'autres dites les moi,please.merci

I really enjoyed the film Fahrenheit 9/11 because the director Michael Moore knows how to balance humour and seriousness to create a good documentary. In this documentary , we can find interesting things for example the falsification of the presidential elections . There are many revolting scenes as the methods of soldiers recruitments: Servicemen try tries to convince people from working class families to join the army so that their studies will be funded; Georges W Bush doesn’t act when he learns when he's told the Twin Towers are destructed by planes guided by terrorists , instead of acting, he continues to talk with children in a class ; then Bush goes on holidays instead of working; . Moreover , the American soldiers are glad when they manage to kill an Irakian…

This film moves the audience by the hardness of the images as well as by the extreme sincerity of the stories, of this mother who lost her son in Iraq on behalf of Bush , of this Iraqi woman who requests Allah to avenge herself after the destruction of her house.

And there are also funny moments that I liked.

However, I don’t agree with an essential point, it is when Michael Moore presents Iraq as if it were a nice place before the war. It was a totalitarian regime, run by a brutal dictator , ( ce qui prouve que) .this scene proves M.Moore doesn’t like Georges Bush and so he puts images that favours his point of view.

Nevertheless, I like this film.

[m4s4mun3]

No problemo