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[sixxohoh]

Bonjour tout le monde !

Voilà, je suis en seconde, et je devais en anglais imaginer la suite d'un extrait de film que l'on avait vu, Big Fish de Tim Burton.

Le contexte rapidement : Edward Bloom, un homme assez imaginatif et ambitieux, quitte son village natal. Il se retrouve dans une ville assez étrange, Spectre, où l'on atout pour être heureux. Malgré tout, il décide de partir, mais en promettant à une petite fille, Jenny , de revenir.
Le but étant de raconter ce qui se passerait s'il revenait une deuxième fois. Pour ce faire, j'ai choisi de le raconter dans le genre de l'horreur.

Mon texte est un petit peu long, j'espère que cela ne vous découragera pas,   en fait je voudrais juste une petite correction des fautes et autres que j'ai pu faire.

" In his bed, Edward reflected : "Years have passed since my adventures when I was yong...Yeah, I remember Karl, He was so nice... And spectre, this peculiar city...and.. yes ! It's the solution ! I've had enough of this dull and tedious life ! i will go back to Spectre ! "

The next morning, he got under way and when he arrived in front of the forest, it was dark already. He knew the way and saw soon then panel "Welcome to spectre" , but behind it... There're no houses, no grass, no light, nobody ! Just...graves . Edward was petrified : where was the village ? It had disappeared ! He went along the graves and realized with horror that each one of them belonged to a townman. He was afraid and began to panic. Then he also realized that he hadn't seen the Jenny's grave. Can be was she still alive ? " If so, I have to find her and ask her what's happened ", says himself he.

He thus turned back to seek her. Whereas He approached of the lake, Jenny appeared opposite him, but she didn't seem happy, but rather angry and full of hatred. He shouted ; he didn't understand her attitude and wanted to ask her a lot of questions, but she interrupted him and said of a strange voice : "  Edward, you left, and now, they're all died... by your fault ! You didn't come back as you had promised, and now, it's too late. Edward, I will kill you." She brought out a stake and looked at him calmly. Edward was paralysed :" No, it's impossible, it's a dream, I will awake, no, no ...! " Then, he saw her arriving toward him, screaming : Revenge ! Betrayal ! " No ! Help ! she's mad ! Help me ! " There was the last words of Edward Bloom. She thrusted the stake in his eyes, then in the heart, the head, the legs. The thing done, she smiled, satisfied, and she committed suicide. It reigned then a deathly hush. "

Voilà, merci beaucoup de m'aider

[JRB]

Bonjour,

sixxohoh, le 04 janvier 2012 - 15:38, dit :

" In his bed, Edward reflected : "Years have passed since my adventures when I was yong...Yeah, I remember Karl, He was so nice... And Spectre, this peculiar city...and.. yes! It's the solution! I've had enough of this dull and tedious life! I will go back to Spectre ! "

The next morning, he got under way and when he arrived in front of the forest, it was dark already. He knew the way and before long saw soon then panel "Welcome to Spectre", but behind it... There were no houses, no grass, no light, nobody!

Tu es toujours dans ton récit =>> prétérit.

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Just...graves. Edward was petrified : where was the village? It had disappeared! He went along the graves and realized with in horror that each one of them belonged to a townman town-dweller. He was afraid and began to panic. Then he also realized that he hadn't seen the Jenny's grave.

L'article défini devant la chose possédée est omis dans le génitif. C'est une règle à mémoriser.

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Can be was Could she still be alive?

Revois les emplois des modaux.

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" If so, I have to find her and ask her what's happened ", says himself he said to himself.

- Le prétérit est un temps simple et la construction est celle d'une déclarative car c'est une relative, pas une interrogative.
- L'anglais n'aime pas du tout l'inversion dans le discours rapporté.

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He thus turned back to seek her. Whereas While he approached of the lake, Jenny appeared opposite him, but she didn't / seem to be / look happy, but rather angry and full of hatred.

- whereas = Alors que/Tandis que introduit une opposition <---> while = Pendant que/Tandis que introduit une durée de temps. Efforce-toi de ne plus les confondre.
- approach est transitif direct.

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He shouted ; he didn't understand her attitude and wanted to ask her a lot of questions, but she interrupted him and said of in a strange voice : "  Edward, you left, and now, they're all died / they've all died... by your faul

Là, tu confonds died, participe passé de die = mourir avec dead, l'adjectif = mort(e).
have + participe passé = present perfect <---> Be, verbe d'état + adjectif.

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You didn't come back as you had promised, and now, it's too late. Edward, I will kill you." She brought out a spear/stake<--?? and looked at him calmly. Edward was paralysed :" No, it's impossible, it's a dream, I will awake, no, no ...! " Then, he saw her arriving toward coming near him, screaming : Revenge! Betrayal! " No! Help! she's mad! Help me! " There These was were the last words of Edward Bloom. She thrusted the stake into his eyes, then into the his heart, the head, the legs.

- thrust est irrégulier. Révise la liste, il faut les connaître tous par coeur, c'est indispensable.
- l'anglais emploie l'adjectif possessif devant les diverses parties du corps, pas l'article. C'est à savoir.

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Once the thing was done, she smiled, satisfied, and she committed suicide. It reigned Then there was a deathly hush. "

Il faut essayer le plus possible d'éviter les calques d'expressions françaises.

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Voilà, merci beaucoup de m'aider.

À propos de la ponctuation : en anglais, les points d'interrogation et d'exclamation, comme la virgule et le point final, se collent sans espace derrière le mot, l'espace se met après. J'ai rectifié partout mais tâche de le mémoriser pour l'appliquer à l'avenir.
Bonne continuation.