1 réponse à ce sujet

[yuna-chan]

Bonjour vous pourrez corriger mon dialogue s'il vous plaie que j'ai fais avec tous ce  que  je savais




This scene takes place at Brian's parents home.
Banks informs his wife about the call he has just had with their son

"Sandra you can come and sit down next to me please?I would like to talk about something".He says proudly .

"Ok wait i come!!"She says loudly.

"I am here!i am listening to you!"She says.

"I spoke with our son today and he told me about the esult of his exam which is not very good"He says bitterly.

"Realy!How has he  got to his exam?She replys.

"He...(hesitantly)he got a third"He says angrily.

"What!! a third!! this is a very a very bad result"She says crossly.

"Yeah I know darling,and he told me also that he would like to make a career in the music business"He adds.

"He really said that?!I can not believe to my ears.When I think that I did everything for him not to become like you.If you had cared for him properly, who knows maybe he would have been more than that"She says loudly.

"Like me!why you say that?!"He says crossly.

"Like father,like son!After all you has not better at his age!I am not reason?"

Banks in these words found nothing to say and and go away the living room.

Cordialement !!

[JRB]

Bonjour,

yuna-chan, le 01 novembre 2011 - 20:49, dit :

Bonjour,

vous Pourriez-vous corriger mon dialogue s'il vous plaie plaît ? Je l'ai fait avec tout ce  que  je savais.

This scene takes place at Brian's parents home.
Banks informs his wife about the call he has just had with their son.

"Sandra you can come and sit down next to me please? I would like to talk about something", he says proudly.

Même si ton dialogue est d'un registre familier, prends l'habitude de toujours formuler la question correctement en respectant le bon ordre des mots qui la composent. Rectifie.

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"Ok wait i come!!, she says loudly.

L'orthographe du pronom sujet est incorrecte et le verbe doit être à la forme continue. Rectifie les 2 erreurs.

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"I am here! i am listening to you!, she says.

"I spoke with our son today and he told me about the result of his exam which is not very good, he says bitterly.

"Realy! How has he  got to his exam?", she replies.

J'imagine que tu as voulu dire "Combien a-t-il eu à son examen ?" c'est-à-dire quelle note a-t-il eue ?
Suggestions :
- quelle = what
- note = mark
- verbe get au prétérit interrogatif.

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"He...(hesitantly) he got a third", he says angrily.

"What!! a third!! this is a very a very bad result"She says crossly.

Tu emploies le nombre ordinal à la place du cardinal. Rectifie.

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"Yeah I know darling and he also told me also that he would like to make a career in the music business", he adds.

"He really said that ?! I cannot believe to my ears. When I To think (that) I did everything for him not to become like you! If you had cared for him properly, who knows maybe he would have been more than that", she says loudly.

"Like me! why you say that?!, he says crossly.

C'est une question, rectifie.

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"Like father,like son! After all you has not better at his age!

tu n'avais pas meilleur ou bien tu n'étais pas meilleur ?  

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I am not reason?"

avoir raison = to be right. Rectifie et souviens-toi que c'est une interro-négative.

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Banks in With these words Banks found nothing to say and and go away the living room.

sortir (en marchant) d'une pièce = to walk out of a room Rectifie en respectant le temps voulu;

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Cordialement !!