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Ecrit : L'hotel Le Plus Chère Au Monde


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#1 myrianis3

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Posté 09 octobre 2011 - 18:51

Je dois écrire une lettre parlant de la suite d'hotel la plus chère au monde, la voici et merci pour toute correction car l'anglais, c'est pas trop mon fort Image IPB Image IPB


    Dear James,

    I won a competition one month ago, and the first prize is a stay at the Royal Towers of Atlantis on Paradise Island in the Bahamas for a week! When I received the letter, I couldn’t believe it. So, I’m staying in the Bridge Suite, the most expensive hotel suite in the world. That’s incredible, and I wanted absolutely to tell you about it.
    First of all, the weather is very nice. It’s hot but there is a bit of wind that cools you down. It’s also sunny and there is about 28 degrees. Then, this hotel it’s the paradise for the greedy : there are all that you want and all is really delicious. I also have my own bar area, with a barman who is available if I don’t want to serve myself.
   Additionally, the hotel is very luxurious. It was built for celebrity, royalty and very rich people. The hotel include a lot of activities very nice. Indeed, you can swim in one of many swimming pools, or in the Atlantic Ocean. You can go sailing, and practice many water sports, like jet-ski.

  Then, The Bridge Suite is located on top of a bridge that connects the two Royal Towers buildings, so it overlooks the entire resort and the view is spectacular. However, there are eighteen rooms with five showers and four toilets! I think that is a bit silly, because it’s really not necessary. In fact, although live like a celebrity is a very nice experience, It’s also choking because everything here is superficial, like gold-gilt bar stools. You don’t must break anything! Actually, the cheapest item in the suite cost $6000. It’s a little obscene when you think that there are people die of hunger while other spend $20000 for one night in a hotel.

     Despite everything, I want to benefit from the stay. I’m planning to go sightseeing, and visiting the country with a guide. I’m also hoping to going diving. I hope tan but I’m lucky because I tan easily. Finally, I want to play on the grand piano and try the stereo system. I feel that would be great. I’m stopping now, I have to go to dinner.
    Write soon and take care,
    Kisses,
    Marie


#2 JRB

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Posté 10 octobre 2011 - 09:05

Bonjour,

Voir le messagemyrianis3, le 09 octobre 2011 - 18:51, dit :

Je dois écrire une lettre parlant de la suite d'hotel la plus chère au monde. La voici et merci pour toute correction car l'anglais, c'est pas trop mon fort. Image IPB Image IPB


Dear James,

I won a competition one month ago, and the first prize is a stay at the Royal Towers of Atlantis on Paradise Island in the Bahamas for a week! When I received the letter, I couldn’t believe it. So, I’m staying in the Bridge Suite, the most expensive hotel suite in the world. That’s incredible, and I absolutely wanted absolutely to tell you about it.
Sauf avec be, l'adverbe se place DEVANT le verbe dont il complète ou modifie le sens.

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First of all, the weather is very nice. It’s hot but there is a bit of wind that cools you down. It’s also sunny too and there the temperature is about 28 degrees Centigrade. Then, this hotel it’s is the a greedy man's paradise for the greedy :
- Jamais de double sujet en anglais.
- Attention aux calques du français !

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there are all that you've got everything you want and all is really delicious. I also have my own bar area, with a barman who is available if I don’t want to serve help myself.
Idem ci-dessus.

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   Additionally, the hotel is very luxurious. It was built for celebrities, royals and very rich people. The hotel include offers a lot of very nice activities very nice.
Pour t'en souvenir désormais, tu copieras 100 fois : " l'adjectif épithète se place DEVANT le nom qu'il qualifie."

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Indeed, you can swim in one of many swimming pools, or in the Atlantic Ocean. You can go sailing, and practice do / practise / many water sports, like jet-skiing.

  Then, The Bridge Suite is located on top of a bridge that connects the two Royal Towers buildings, so it overlooks the entire resort and the view is spectacular. However, there are eighteen rooms with five showers and four toilets! I think that is a bit silly, because it’s really not necessary. In fact, although live living like a celebrity is a very nice experience, It’s also choking shocking because everything here is superficial, like gold-gilt bar stools.
- En anglais, un infinitif ne peut pas avoir la fonction sujet d'un verbe, un gérondif (ou v-ing) si.
- choking = étranglant / étouffant Image IPB==> shocking = choquant. Sers-toi du dictionnaire, ça ne mord pas !

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You don’t must not break anything!
Ça, c'est le bouquet ! Un modal n'a que faire d'un autre auxiliaire, voyons ! Revois les bases !

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Actually, the cheapest item in the suite costs $6000.
-S final au présent simple d'un verbe dont le sujet est singulier. Tu as appris cette règle en Sixième et il serait grand temps que tu l'appliques.

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It’s a little obscene when you think that there are people are dying of hunger while other spend $20000 for one night in a hotel.

Despite everything, I want to benefit from the stay. I’m planning to go sightseeing, and visiting the country with a guide. I’m also hoping to going diving. I hope to get a tan but I’m lucky because I tan easily. Finally, I want to play on the grand piano and try the stereo system. I feel that would be great. I’m stopping now, I have to go to dinner.
Write soon and take care,
Kisses,
Marie
Pour te dire le fond de ma pensée, ton travail est de qualité tellement inégale que je soupçonne qu'il n'est pas dû entièrement au fruit de ton seul travail personnel. Mais je peux me tromper.Image IPB
"Carpe diem!"

#3 myrianis3

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Posté 10 octobre 2011 - 15:04

si, mais nous avions un texte-source! pour le reste, j'ai tout inventé moi-même... merci

#4 myrianis3

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Posté 10 octobre 2011 - 15:20

et sinon, je ne saisis pas si tes remarques sont ironiques... mais pour information, je me sers bien du dictionnaire, et je voulais dire que cet étalage de luxe pouvait être étouffant.... enfin merci pour tes corrections =)




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