27 réponses à ce sujet

[JRB]

Pour que ces collages de mots se produisent, tu as bien dû modifier quelque chose car, pour autant qu'il m'en souvienne, ce problème n'existait pas au tout début. Alors ?

[Marabou]

Non, je n'ai touché à rien ! Et ça me fait cela un peu moins mais tout de même quand je tape à la main et systématiquement lorsque je copie/colle de n'importe quel logiciel de traitement de texte, c'est le troisième que j'essaye !

[JRB]

Marabou, le 10 mai 2011 - 15:29, dit :

Non, je n'ai touché à rien ! Et ça me fait cela un peu moins mais tout de même quand je tape à la main et systématiquement  lorsque je copie/colle de n'importe quel logiciel de traitement de texte, c'est le troisième que j'essaye !

N'importe lequel ? Vraiment ?
As-tu au moins déjà essayé avec Word de Microsoft Windows ? In my opinion, it's the best one!

[Marabou]

Non, je n'ai pas Word et il est payant, j'ai essayé sous Open office (La copie libre de Word), Microsoft Works, Atlantis et j'ai même essayé avec le bloc note du Windows !   Mais rien n'y fait !

[JRB]

Alors, c'est que ton ordinateur est ensorcelé !

[Marabou]

Je vais me mettre au Vaudou !   - Pouvez-vous tout de même corriger le dernier texte que je vous ai soumis ou c'est vraiment trop dur pour vos yeux ?

[JRB]

Désolé, il avait échappé à mes yeux de lynx...!

Marabou, le 10 mai 2011 - 15:14, dit :

Pourriez-vous tout de même corriger mon avant-dernier commentaire pour l'épreuve du bac ?

In this chapter, the twenty-second, entitled "bullies in the Head", the author tells the return of Sade in his family home, where she tasted has an afterschool snack and tries to get her homework done but she is haunted by her integration  problems whom  which/that she met during the day. In addition, his brother still does not speak, despite the warmth of her family, she feels lonely. We will analyze this excerpt from a novel in three basic dimensions. First the safety and comfort of his family home, then the mention of his difficult integration and finally, the nostalgia and the torment of the main character of thischapter.

It is true that when she returned home after his :angry:school day, she finds solace in her foster family. Indeed, the King family organized everything for it :angry:to be happy and comfortable. The mother prepared to him baked a good cake for her, in fact, at the beginning of the text can be read:***. We see that the family made efforts, in fact  the narrator says "Aunt Gracie tried to get comfortable at home." In addition she takes after her, and tries to talk to get comfortable, because she asks him "How was it at school?". She has a maternal instinct because later in the story she asked "How was it? Garcia aunt again. Any problems?". In addition, the little girl has support outside of the home because  Mama Appiah called him "to find out about their first day at school. " This shows that in the first part of the chapter, the author shows a family welcoming and reassuring for both abandoned children.

    Now see the second part dealing with moral difficulties and integration of the girl. She suffers first of solitude, can be harder to live than at school like of  his :angry:brother, he is deadness, ?? it is an ordeal for her! Indeed, we read: ****, But the narrator evokes the bullies of the school who leer at first Only both, but then in the canteen with Kevin, the son of her first family who singles out and looks at her with a smirk. We see that she is looking for support because she questioned the location of the home of Marcia, her new friend, it says: ***. She seeks to avoid what the author called "a horrible monster"! At the end of the chapter, she is still having a nightmare of the two daughters who single out, she felt like a plight.

Finally, the dramatic turn of this chapter takes place just before the end of it. Indeed, the author recounts the nightmare of Sade, it summarizes all the suffering and difficulties of the girl. She mixes everything in her brain and is completely lost. Indeed, in the latter, we find the two girls who hurt him. But also his :angry:father because he lacks she misses him, he is the one who protected her and finally she sees again the trauma of her mother's the death of his mother.

    This shows clearly that thischapter is a mixture of happiness, suffering, unpain and tourmaline torment. So, it is for me one of the strongest chapters and most interesting chapters of the book, and particularly rich in learning about the difficulties of integration of political refugees.

Merci de votre aide en tout cas, je sens que toutes mes erreurs (J'ai fait une liste sur un post-it sur mon bureau pour y penser !) commencent à rentrer dans ma petite tête ! ^^

Ahem...!

Citation

Marabou !

[Marabou]

Euh oui bon bah je crois que le masculin/féminin c'est pas rentré  !   Je l'ai écrit il y a un bon mois, je crois qu'avant de vous soumettre le dernier, je vais le relire attentivement !


En tout cas mille mercis, vous m'êtes d'une grande aide !


Marabou !

[JRB]

Marabou, le 11 mai 2011 - 16:14, dit :

Euh oui bon bah je crois que le masculin/féminin c'est pas rentré  !   Je l'ai écrit il y a un bon mois, je crois qu'avant de vous soumettre le dernier, je vais le relire attentivement !

J'ignore si ton système de post-it est un aide-mémoire efficace mais je constate que mes divers ont fait leur effet.

Citation

En tout cas mille mercis, vous m'êtes d'une grande aide !

Marabou !

You're still welcome!

[Marabou]

Bonsoir bonsoir ! Me revoilà avec mon Dernier commentaire, rédigé il y a un mois, aucune fautes ne me sautent aux yeux mais il doit y en avoir , puis-je avoir un peu de vos lumières ? (En espérant qu'il y est pas trop de "collés" ! )This chapter marks a turningpoint in the story, children were fled Nigeria after their mother'smurder, they came up with a smuggler, a woman who has abandoned them.They had to find their Uncle Dele in fine arts school, but he hasmysteriously disappeared! They were found in the street by police,placed in temporary foster care and there, they meet a woman who willhelp them at the refugee office. We will see that indeed,this chapter is a turning point in the narrative. Firstly because thechildren meet a new character, then, this meeting evokes memories butendangering their secret and finally, we see that there is a funnyand unusual character but he also endangers their lie, the kids willhave make a choice.

Firstly, this chapter is for Femi and Sade, an encounter with a newwife: Mrs. Appiah. First, Sade was very surprised because she looks alot like Mama Buki, their aunt of Nigeria, she is very elegant andhas a similar attitude to her aunt! Indeed, we read: “The elegantlady at the door reminded Sade so strongly of Mama Buki that she wastaken aback”. It was something in the lady's assured, confidentface.”In addition, African-inspired clothes she wears accentuatesthis impression because it is written: “Her black and green gelewas also wrapped above her broad forehead in Mama Buki's favouritestyle, the corners of the headscarf perched up like the tails of twolittle birds”.  She also has another feature in common with thechildren, she is also African indeed Jenny-Iyawo says: “Mrs. Appiahis from Ghana”. In addition, she works exclusively with children inrefugee office, we can think that she knows how to put them at ease.That's what she did afterward, it says she tries to relax and talkthem like their friends, in fact, it says: ***.She also tells them alittle of his past to relax the atmosphere, we can read: ***.Shebehaves like someone in their family because she reassures Sade whenthe little girl crying. It is written: “She felt Mrs Appiah takingher hand”and after “she became aware of how coming Mama Appiah'sarm felt”.She condones be sad and cry, in fact, she said: "Weall need to cry sometimes, cry and let it out”.Moreover, she didnot press to tell their terrible history, she leaves their some time,she said: ***.This shows that children encounter a new character:Mrs. Appiah. She is very kind and compassionate with them.

But now see that this meeting is endangering their secret.Literature for young people often contains a rite of passage, thisexcerpt is one of them ! The little girl is lost and does not knowwhether to tell the truth about their history and their family nameto Mama Appiah. Indeed, the narrator says: "For a while Sade sattongue-tied. Conflicting thoughts raced through her brain.”.She hastrouble making a decision and when she thinks her father will bethere, everything will be easier! Indeed, it is written: ***.Finally, she ended up thinking it is best kept secret, we read:“Until then, it was better that they were Sade and Femi Adewale”.She wants to find Uncle Dele, she is lying to him but giving his realname to find him. It is written: “She gave his name, Dr Solaja, butlet Mama Appiah think  that he was Mama's brother”.To not continueto lie and protect their secret, when Mama Appiah their request otherinformation, she remains silent: “When Mama Appiah  asked how theyhad entered the country, Sade simply replied that they had come with“a lady”. Mama Appiah didn't press any further”. Well,we see that this chapter is also a decisive passage of  the storywhere children have to make a choice to protect their secretthemselves and their father.

But todramatize the difficult situation for children, the narrator tellsthe meeting of these last one with a slightly comic character despitehim! This character they encounter "threedays later" is, I quote: “”Mr Nathan, a “refugeelwyer””.This encounter stress Sade, in fact, we read:“Sade flicked over the pages of a magazine in the small waitingroom, trying to hide her nervousness”. Thisencounter stress Sade, in fact, it says. One may wonder why, becausehe is here to help them, but this stress is caused by therepresentation that she have of him! Thenarrator explains: ***.The narrator explains:But the physical description of the lawyer makes it funny and defusesthe situation. Firstly, it has not the ensured  foot of her uncle, infact, he has trouble walking, it says: ***. He doesn't really looklike a lawyer but more like a sailor, it is written: “ Hewas short with a small wind-beaten face that made Sade think of anold sailor rather than a lawyer”. He did not lookvery serious indeed, we read: “A tuft of greying hair hungover his forehead down to his spectacles like a clutch of driedgrass”. Moreover, with his attitude, he seems veryfriendly, the narrator describes it: “He greeted Mama Appiahlike an old friend before turning to the children and inviting themto follow him into his office”. He even seemssweety: “When he smiled, his grey-green eyes seemes to ripple andlight up his face”. He also seems messy, because: “A forest ofbooks surrounded them, stretching from the floor to the ceiling,while files stacked on the carpet rose up like a thick undergrowth”.Then, he speaks more seriously on immigration and identity documents.But this discussion may again endanger their secret, but Sade takethe control of the situation, in fact his brother is silent, we read:“Sade was relieved that Femi let her speak for him. In his “don'tcare” mood he might easily give away their real names”. Atthe end of the scene, they respond only with statements and shortanswers, we see that indeed, this new personage as Mama Appiah arenice but they endanger their secret, the children are determined tokeep at them to bear the consequences in the following chapter, a newchallenging mission.




Merci d'avance pour ces ultimes corrections !

Marabou !

Modifié par Marabou, 12 mai 2011 - 17:46.

[JRB]

Marabou, le 12 mai 2011 - 17:43, dit :

Bonsoir bonsoir !

Me revoilà avec mon dernier commentaire, rédigé il y a un mois, aucune fautes ne me sautent aux yeux <Même pas en français ?!   What a shame! mais il doit y en avoir .  Puis-je avoir un peu de vos lumières ? (En espérant qu'il n' y est  ait pas trop de "collés" ! ) Il y a/avait/aura/aurait, etc. se forme avec le verbe AVOIR. This chapter marks a turning point in the story. Nouvelle phrase> The children were fled Nigeria after their mother'smurder, they came up with a smuggler, a woman who has abandoned them.Ne mélange pas les temps ! They had to find their Uncle Dele in a  fine arts school, but he had mysteriously disappeared! They were found in the street by the police, placed in temporary foster care and there, they met a woman who will was going to help them at the refugee office. We will see that indeed this chapter is a turning point in the narrative. Firstly because thechildren meet a new character, then this meeting evokes memories but endangers their secret and finally, we see that there is a funny and unusual character but he also endangers their lie, the kids will have to make a choice. Il semble que tu perdes trop facilement de vue que le récit se fait de préférence au prétérit.

Firstly, this chapter is for Femi and Sade an encounter with a new wife: Mrs. Appiah. First, Sade was very surprised because she looks a lot like Mama Buki, their aunt of Nigeria, she is very elegant and has a similar attitude to her aunt! Indeed, we read: "The elegant lady at the door reminded Sade so strongly of Mama Buki that she was taken aback". It was something in the lady's assured, confident face."In addition, African-inspired clothes she wears accentuates this impression because it is written: "Her black and green gele was also wrapped above her broad forehead in Mama Buki's favourite style, the corners of the headscarf perched up like the tails of two little birds".  She also has another feature in common with the children, she is also African indeed Jenny-Iyawo says: "Mrs. Appiah is from Ghana". In addition, she works exclusively with children in refugee office, we can think that she knows how to put them at ease.That's what she did afterwards, it says she tries to relax and talk  to them like their friends, in fact, it says: ***.She also tells them a little of his past to relax the atmosphere, we can read: ***.She behaves like someone in their family because she reassures Sade when the little girl is crying. It is written: "She felt Mrs Appiah taking her hand"and after "she became aware of how coming Mama Appiah's arm felt".She admitted being sad and cried  <(? ) in fact, she said: "We all need to cry sometimes, cry and let it out". Moreover, she did not urge / press the children to tell their terrible history, she leaves their them some time,she said: ***.This shows that children encounter a new character: Mrs. Appiah. She is very kind and compassionate with them.

But now see that this meeting is endangering their secret. Literature for young people often contains a rite of passage, this excerpt is one of them ! The little girl is lost and does not know whether to tell the truth about their history and their family name to Mama Appiah. Indeed, the narrator says: "For a while Sade sat tongue-tied. Conflicting thoughts raced through her brain.".She has trouble making a decision and when she thinks her father will be there, everything will be easier! Indeed, it is written: ***.Finally, she ended up thinking it is best kept secret, we read:"Until then, it was better that they were Sade and Femi Adewale". She wants to find Uncle Dele, she is lying to him but giving his real name to find him. It is written: "She gave his name, Dr Solaja, but let Mama Appiah think  that he was Mama's brother".In order to not continue to lie and protect their secret, when Mama Appiah their request  requires other information of them, she remains silent: "When Mama Appiah  asked how they had entered the country, Sade simply replied that they had come with"a lady". Mama Appiah didn't press any further". Well,we see that this chapter is also a decisive passage of  the story where the children have to make a choice to protect their secret and their father themselves.

But to dramatize the difficult situation for the children, the narrator tells their meeting of these last one with a slightly comic character despite him! This character they encounter "three days later" is, I quote: ""Mr Nathan, a "refugee lawyer"".This encounter stresses Sade, in fact, we read:"Sade flicked over the pages of a magazine in the small waitingroom, trying to hide her nervousness". This encounter stresses Sade, <bis ! in fact, it says. One may wonder why, because he is here to help them, but this stress is caused by the representation that she have  has of him! The narrator explains: ***.The narrator explains:But the physical description of the lawyer makes it funny and defuses the situation. Firstly, it <?? has not the ensured  foot of her uncle, infact, he has trouble walking, it says: ***. He doesn't really look like a lawyer but more like a sailor, it is written: " He was short with a small wind-beaten face that made Sade think of an old sailor rather than a lawyer". He did not look very serious indeed, we read: "A tuft of greying hair hung over his forehead down to his spectacles like a clutch of dried grass". Moreover, with his attitude, he seems very friendly, the narrator describes it: "He greeted Mama Appiah like an old friend before turning to the children and inviting them to follow him into his office". He even seems sweety: "When he smiled, his grey-green eyes seemed to ripple and light up his face". He also seems messy, because: "A forest of books surrounded them, stretching from the floor to the ceiling, while files stacked on the carpet rose up like a thick undergrowth".Then, he speaks more seriously on immigration and identity documents. But this discussion may again endanger their secret, but Sade takes the control of the situation, in fact his brother is silent, we read:"Sade was relieved that Femi let her speak for him. In his "don't care" mood he might easily give away their real names". At the end of the scene, they respond only with statements and short answers, we see that indeed, this new personage as Mama Appiah are nice but they endanger their secret which the children are determined to keep at them to bear the consequences in the following chapter, a new challenging mission.
Merci d'avance pour ces ultimes corrections !

Marabou !

[Marabou]

Merci cher JRB, si je réussis l'épreuve d'anglais et d'anglais spécialité au Bac, ça sera en grande partie grâce à vous !

Mille Mercis.

Marabou !

[JRB]

Non, non, si tu réussis ton bac, ce que je souhaite de tout coeur, ce ne sera dû qu'à tes seuls efforts et tout le mérite t'en reviendra.
All the very best!