E-Bahut Jean B Posté(e) le 13 mai 2011 E-Bahut Signaler Share Posté(e) le 13 mai 2011 Bonsoir bonsoir ! Me revoilà avec mon dernier commentaire, rédigé il y a un mois, aucune fautes ne me sautent aux yeux <Même pas en français ?! What a shame! mais il doit y en avoir . Puis-je avoir un peu de vos lumières ? (En espérant qu'il n' y est ait pas trop de "collés" ! ) Il y a/avait/aura/aurait, etc. se forme avec le verbe AVOIR. This chapter marks a turning point in the story. Nouvelle phrase> The children were fled Nigeria after their mother'smurder, they came up with a smuggler, a woman who has abandoned them.Ne mélange pas les temps ! They had to find their Uncle Dele in a fine arts school, but he had mysteriously disappeared! They were found in the street by the police, placed in temporary foster care and there, they met a woman who will was going to help them at the refugee office. We will see that indeed this chapter is a turning point in the narrative. Firstly because thechildren meet a new character, then this meeting evokes memories but endangers their secret and finally, we see that there is a funny and unusual character but he also endangers their lie, the kids will have to make a choice. Il semble que tu perdes trop facilement de vue que le récit se fait de préférence au prétérit. Firstly, this chapter is for Femi and Sade an encounter with a new wife: Mrs. Appiah. First, Sade was very surprised because she looks a lot like Mama Buki, their aunt of Nigeria, she is very elegant and has a similar attitude to her aunt! Indeed, we read: "The elegant lady at the door reminded Sade so strongly of Mama Buki that she was taken aback". It was something in the lady's assured, confident face."In addition, African-inspired clothes she wears accentuates this impression because it is written: "Her black and green gele was also wrapped above her broad forehead in Mama Buki's favourite style, the corners of the headscarf perched up like the tails of two little birds". She also has another feature in common with the children, she is also African indeed Jenny-Iyawo says: "Mrs. Appiah is from Ghana". In addition, she works exclusively with children in refugee office, we can think that she knows how to put them at ease.That's what she did afterwards, it says she tries to relax and talk to them like their friends, in fact, it says: ***.She also tells them a little of his past to relax the atmosphere, we can read: ***.She behaves like someone in their family because she reassures Sade when the little girl is crying. It is written: "She felt Mrs Appiah taking her hand"and after "she became aware of how coming Mama Appiah's arm felt".She admitted being sad and cried <(? ) in fact, she said: "We all need to cry sometimes, cry and let it out". Moreover, she did not urge / press the children to tell their terrible history, she leaves their them some time,she said: ***.This shows that children encounter a new character: Mrs. Appiah. She is very kind and compassionate with them. But now see that this meeting is endangering their secret. Literature for young people often contains a rite of passage, this excerpt is one of them ! The little girl is lost and does not know whether to tell the truth about their history and their family name to Mama Appiah. Indeed, the narrator says: "For a while Sade sat tongue-tied. Conflicting thoughts raced through her brain.".She has trouble making a decision and when she thinks her father will be there, everything will be easier! Indeed, it is written: ***.Finally, she ended up thinking it is best kept secret, we read:"Until then, it was better that they were Sade and Femi Adewale". She wants to find Uncle Dele, she is lying to him but giving his real name to find him. It is written: "She gave his name, Dr Solaja, but let Mama Appiah think that he was Mama's brother".In order to not continue to lie and protect their secret, when Mama Appiah their request requires other information of them, she remains silent: "When Mama Appiah asked how they had entered the country, Sade simply replied that they had come with"a lady". Mama Appiah didn't press any further". Well,we see that this chapter is also a decisive passage of the story where the children have to make a choice to protect their secret and their father themselves. But to dramatize the difficult situation for the children, the narrator tells their meeting of these last one with a slightly comic character despite him! This character they encounter "three days later" is, I quote: ""Mr Nathan, a "refugee lawyer"".This encounter stresses Sade, in fact, we read:"Sade flicked over the pages of a magazine in the small waitingroom, trying to hide her nervousness". This encounter stresses Sade, <bis ! in fact, it says. One may wonder why, because he is here to help them, but this stress is caused by the representation that she have has of him! The narrator explains: ***.The narrator explains:But the physical description of the lawyer makes it funny and defuses the situation. Firstly, it <?? has not the ensured foot of her uncle, infact, he has trouble walking, it says: ***. He doesn't really look like a lawyer but more like a sailor, it is written: " He was short with a small wind-beaten face that made Sade think of an old sailor rather than a lawyer". He did not look very serious indeed, we read: "A tuft of greying hair hung over his forehead down to his spectacles like a clutch of dried grass". Moreover, with his attitude, he seems very friendly, the narrator describes it: "He greeted Mama Appiah like an old friend before turning to the children and inviting them to follow him into his office". He even seems sweety: "When he smiled, his grey-green eyes seemed to ripple and light up his face". He also seems messy, because: "A forest of books surrounded them, stretching from the floor to the ceiling, while files stacked on the carpet rose up like a thick undergrowth".Then, he speaks more seriously on immigration and identity documents. But this discussion may again endanger their secret, but Sade takes the control of the situation, in fact his brother is silent, we read:"Sade was relieved that Femi let her speak for him. In his "don't care" mood he might easily give away their real names". At the end of the scene, they respond only with statements and short answers, we see that indeed, this new personage as Mama Appiah are nice but they endanger their secret which the children are determined to keep at them to bear the consequences in the following chapter, a new challenging mission. Merci d'avance pour ces ultimes corrections ! Marabou ! Lien vers le commentaire Partager sur d’autres sites More sharing options...
Marabou Posté(e) le 16 mai 2011 Auteur Signaler Share Posté(e) le 16 mai 2011 Merci cher JRB, si je réussis l'épreuve d'anglais et d'anglais spécialité au Bac, ça sera en grande partie grâce à vous ! Mille Mercis. Marabou ! Lien vers le commentaire Partager sur d’autres sites More sharing options...
E-Bahut Jean B Posté(e) le 16 mai 2011 E-Bahut Signaler Share Posté(e) le 16 mai 2011 Non, non, si tu réussis ton bac, ce que je souhaite de tout coeur, ce ne sera dû qu'à tes seuls efforts et tout le mérite t'en reviendra. All the very best! Lien vers le commentaire Partager sur d’autres sites More sharing options...
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