Commentaire

[Marabou]

Bonjour, j'ai fait un commentaire de texte pour m'entrainer, pourriez-vous me le corriger s'il vous plait:

This text is the first chapter of a novel entitled Theother side of truth written by Beverley Naidoo and subtitled with the following sentence:"A lie has seven winding paths, the truth one straight road". MrsNaidoo is very popular south African author for children. This bookwas published by Puffin in 2000. The novel won the "Carnegie Medal in Literature" ,aliterary prize for the children's book of the year. Thestory is about the murder of a woman, mother of two children and whohas a husband who is a famous journalist and an expert of question ofHuman rights, government and political systems. It takes place inNigeria at the time of the execution of Ken Saro-Wiwa who protestedagainst multinational oil companies and the military government whohad polluted his birthplace: Oganiland. Insteadof a dry polemic about freedom of speech as mentioned in theforeword, Beverley Naidoo has written a novelfor children, probably more powerful ! This chapter is the beginning of the story, she tells a dramatic event:The dead of children's mother. This last one is very interesting asit is the first chapter of the novel st the tone for the rest of thebook. We will show that it is introduce the plot, the characters andthe theme of violence.

First,it is true that this introductory section shows an intensive passage.In fact, early in the narrative, we witness the murder of the motherof the two main characters, children. She was assassinated in frontof the house by gunmen in cars who wanted to kill her husband, Mr.Solaja, a famous journalist in Lagos who works for a newspaper,famous for its ommitment to human rights and denouncingcorruption and the Nigerian political system. The reader lives thistragic event through the eyes of Sade. Indeed, the scene is happeningin Nigeria, in Lagos, in the house of Mr. Solaja, the father of thechildren, in the morning before the children go to school. While thelittle girl, Sade Solaja keeps her books and notebooks in her bag,she is surprised by a terrible cry, that of his father. We see thedrama as the expression "Fierce cry". Indeed, we read: ***.In addition, from line one to line seventeen, we find out the lexicalfield of sounds. Humans songs with the words "Whisper, scream, cry,hear and voice. But The sounds of the assassins'car too, we can read"revving" and "ski ding". Then, the sound of the gun:"Cracks" and "splinter" and finally the sound of the bag:"topple".This excerpt makes the reader live the story with a lotof sounds that Sade means but also through sight, can read thelexical field of color: "Bright White", "Scarlet" and"Stains". And Finally, the lexical field of movement isomnipresent, in fact, we read: "Slip into, splinter, fall, rise,race to, push past, kneel, grip, stretch out, spread down and halt".This idea given by lexical fields of sound, movement and color isthat the situation is tense, dangerous and risky. Nothing seems undercontrol. The characters and under intense pressure.

But to study thecharacteristics of this introductory chapter, the plot is not enoughto make this story one of the richest passages of this book'scharacters also have a major role. Firstly, the main characters inthis story are two children: Most important, Sade, a girl of twelveyears old, she is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Solaja and Femi'ssister, the second main character of this book, a boy of ten yearsold. The secondary characters but with a major role in the book arefor the majority present or mentioned in this passage. Mr. Folarin Solaja, outspoken journalist who works in a newspaper of Lagos andcommitted to the rights of man and his wife Mrs Solaja, she was nurseand she's the murdered woman. They have also in this excerpt: UncleTunde, the brother of the journalist, he's older than him and he's alawyer; Mama Burki , the sister of the deceased and the children'saunt. Butthere are also much less important characters but allow to the readerto imagine the scene! Joseph, the guardian of the house who works forthe family Solaja, Mr. Falana their neighbor also editor in chiefof Mr. Solaja. There is a doctor. Ken-Saro Wiwa, a well-known writersentenced to death by the General Abacha 1995 is also mentioned.There is also talk of the grandmother with whom the children wantrefuge and uncle Dele, Mr Solaja's young brother who lives in Londonand finally, the murderers of mothers are also cited at thebeginning. Inthis story, so there is a family affair. The latter seems veryunited, indeed, in the scene where the children are in the officewith their father and Uncle Tunde, we perceive a very strongcohesion. Moreover, even less close family of children, such asuncles and aunts have a very important role. We can therefore assumethat in Africa and specifically in Nigeria, the family is aninstitution! We also see that the readereasily identifies with Sade, cares about his fate and wants to knowthe rest of the story of the family but also the history andevolution of the girl in the following narrative.

<a name="result_box8"> Finally, theimportant elements of this chapter is as we have seen the plot,setting and characters but there is also a central theme: violence.This violence istold in two ways: In the first part directly by the action and horrorof the crime. Indeed, from the first paragraph, we find a scene ofincredible violence, an innocent mother is assassinated with a pistolby two men in a car. The author describe the screams of dread of thefather against his dyingwife, a description of the hemorrhagic also reflects the violence ofmurder. The doctor who arrives fast is powerless, she is condemnedand violence is still present in the proposal for a future autopsy.This shows a violent scene that affects the family,but later in the chapter, it is contextualized by the description ofpolitical violence in the Nigerian society. ndeed,Sade picks up the phone and hears the violent threats of murderersfor his father. But it is the speech of Uncle Tunde that showspolitical violence and fear in the country. Indeed,he reproaches to his brother for being too violent remarks againstthe regime in an article a few days ago! But Mr. Solaja defends hisposition by saying "Thetruth is the truth." The dialogue presents the corrupt systemwhere an elite enjoys many privileges: that of General Abacha and hisarmy. Mr Solaja becomes reasonable in accepting the idea of ​​exilewith her children in Englandto join his other brother to be safe and do his job properly. Thisshows that Nigeria is a violent country, led by the army, militiasand multinational oil companies, there is no freedom of the press andmany journalists are murdered or driven into exile! It is on thissituation that the author will build the rest of his story.

In conclusion, this firstchapter is very effective to denounce the lack of freedom of speechin Nigeria and to show the violent atmosphere in this country. Thereader identifies with the girl, Sade, with whom he lives thedramatic scene of the assassination of his mother. The atmospherecreated by the author is exciting and enjoyable to read. Personally,I take this reading to first relax, but then to know how to live inNigeria.

Merci d'avance.

Marabou !

[Marabou]

Où sont passés JRB et Yveslouis ? Ont-ils quitté le navire ou sont-ils en vacances ? =)

[Jean B]

Où sont passés JRB et Yveslouis ? Ont-ils quitté le navire ou sont-ils en vacances ? =)

[Marabou]

Je pense que je survivrais ! ^^ En tout cas merci d'avance, j'espère que vous avez passé de bonnes vacances !

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

Bonjour, j'ai fait un commentaire de texte pour m'entraîner, pourriez-vous me le corriger s'il vous plait:

This text is the first chapter of a novel entitled The other side of truth written by Beverley Naidoo and subtitled with the following sentence:"A lie has seven winding paths, the truth one straight road". Mrs Naidoo is a very popular south African author for children. This book was published by Puffin in 2000. The novel won the "Carnegie Medal in Literature" ,a literary prize for the children's book of the year. The story is about the murder of a woman, mother of two children and who has a whose husband who is a famous journalist and an expert of question of Human rights issues, government and political systems. It takes place in Nigeria at the time of the execution of Ken Saro-Wiwa who protested against multinational oil companies and the military government who had polluted his birthplace: Oganiland.

[Marabou]

Merci cher JRB, bon et bien toujourss les mêmes erreurs que je tente d'améliorer à ce que je lis !

Le récurrent Her/His que depuis la sixième je n'arrive pas à intégrer !

Le "S" à la troisième personne, pourtant c'est une des choses que j'étudie avec le plus d'attention à la relecture car c'est des erreurs "bêtes et méchantes" !

En tout cas, je vous remercie de toutes ces corrections, c'est du travail pour vous mais c'est des coups de pouces bienvenues pour se préparer au baccalauréat au mieux lorsque comme moi, on le passe en candidat libre !

Merci encore.

Marabou !

[Jean B]

Merci cher JRB, bon et bien toujourss les mêmes erreurs que je tente d'améliorer à ce que je lis !

Le récurrent Her/His que depuis la sixième je n'arrive pas à intégrer !

[Marabou]

Bonjour, me revoici me revoilà ! =)

Pour les pouceS, n'est ce pas mieux de donner deux coups de pouceS ?

Trève de plaisanterie, pourriez-vous me dire les fautes qu'il y a dans le commentaire suivant et comme d'habitude m'expliquer pour que je comprenne !:

This is the last chapter of the book where the characters are present. It takes place in the family home where children were welcomed, their father was arrested by police while attempting to illegally enter the territory, he was imprisoned, but at the beginning of this chapter,it was him who rings the doorbell with Uncle Dele. We will study thischapter chronologically into three parts: First, the finding of adifficult situation, then it is a scene of reunion and finally stilla difficult but hopeful situation.

Indeed, the beginning of this excerpt presents adifficult situation. We learn that the father's health haddeteriorated and it worried the prison doctor, it says: "Papa unravelled his tale. The doctor has become worried about pains in hischest and wanted him to have tests in hospital. It would be difficult to get them done on a weekend just before Christmas but the doctor had gone away to see what he could arrange. Furthermore,we see that the penitentiary administration has any compassion for the health of the children's father but only a fear of rebellion:"The prison officers, however, seemed more worried that otherdetainees might riot if anything happened to Papa. They had moved himto another wing of the prison where he was on his own." And it says that Dad called his brother for help and there are only statethat has helped Mr Solaja, the father, we can read: ""He had rung Uncle Dele, who in turn rang Mr Nathan [...] Mr Nathan had actedstraight away. Somehow he hand managed to speak to a Member ofParliament, , who spoke to the Home Secretary himself. Within hours Papa was taken to a hospital in Oxford and the Home Secretary orderedthat he should ne set free !". But her children were one of themost important things for him to get better. He told the doctors:"I told them that you children would be my best medicine". Butdespite this great story, reminds his health to his entourage that heis still sick: "He fell quiet. Sade had never seen thei father lookso tired". Finally, we learn that he has escaped to the worst when he says: " Like for poor Mr Galib, my teacher friend from Somalia.[...] They sent him back last week. Almost certainly to prison. Sucha brave man -'.". This shows that the first part of this excerptfrom the last chapter shows the plight of Mr Solaja, the father ofour two heroes.

But this chapter is also a scene of reunion. The father brought to the children some presents that cause a certainnostalgia, it is written: "The are some things I have been wanting to give you children. I brought them with me -' he paused -"from home".".Then he gives them gifts, it brings joy to his son, it says: "With a flourish he held up twopairs of red and black goalkeeper's gloves, one larger than theother. Femi's eyes followed like a cat riveted by butterflies. Papa handed them to him. Femi turned the gloves over to examine them, his eye brows raised in pleasure.". But the joy of seeing his son happyagain makes him nostalgic, he said: "Mama bought them foryou and me – Just before she died". This sentence is a trigger that reveals all the sadness of children, the narrator details in this scene details of sadness and solace for each character: ***. But they like to be alone with their dad and this scene of sadness gives way to a sincere love scene: ***. Andthis scene finished with a gesture of affection de Sade, our young heroine who can not cry; It says: " ***".

But the end of the chapter is a poetic end of novel, divided between joy and expectation of peace and a little girl that growing up. The father wants to provide a future for his children and wants to give them hope for a future in Nigeria: "We're not going to give up hope. Those rogues and thives in our country won't be there for ever. One day we shall go home !". These words are still hard to hear but they reassure children, it is written: "He spoke in that steady voice that Sade had always found socomforting. She nestled back close to Papa and Femi. Home. She still found it so difficult to say the word herself. She would have tolearn. Now that Papa was with them, England might become their new "home" for a while". For them, their "home"is before all: "their father" who protects and guarantees the family's unity, indeed it is written that if they go to america orsouth africa: "Wherever they went, they would have to become liketortoises who carry their homes on their backs.". And last sentences of this chapter indicate that the girl is torn between nostalgia and the desire to move forward. In a final metaphor, the girl seems to grow and "climb" to a new life. I quote:***.

We see thatthis chapter is a typical end of the novel as: it finish with the difficult vicissitudes of our heros, it is a scene of reunion, whichterminates the original separation of heroes and they to have grownup in this book.

Merci d'avance.

Marabou !

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Bonjour, me revoici me revoilà ! =)

Pour les pouceS, n'est-ce pas mieux de donner deux coups de pouceS ?

[Marabou]

Bonjour JRB, désolé de ne vous répondre que maintenant, mais des problèmes personnels m'ont empêchés de le faire avant, mais j'ai été très attentif à lacorrection effectuée par vos soins en début de vacances.

Alors pour les fautes, c'est noté: Le« S » à la troisième personne du singulier, majusculeaux noms de pays, prétérit pour le temps du récit,« to bring » ne nécessite pas de prépositionaprès ce dernier, et surtout je calme mes « aspirations proustiennes » (En français c'est la même chose et donc également valable ! ^^)

Pour les mots tous collés, je necomprend pas, j'effectue un copier/coller depuis mon logiciel de traitement de texte mais jamais ça ne m'avais fait ça avant ! Et même en corrigeant et en éditant le texte et en le relisantcomplètement, certains ne veulent se décoller voir certains secollent alors qu'ils ne l'étaient pas auparavant, ah miracles del'informatique ! Promis je fais de mon mieux !

Pour « and they to have grownup in this book », mélange de fautes, fautes de frappe et mots collés, c'est incompréhensible ! Est-ce plus compréhensible par« and they had to grow up » pour « et ils ont due grandir dans ce livre » ?

Merci de votre aide et de vosprécieuses corrections surtout dans ce « sprint » avantle bac !

Marabou

[Jean B]

Bonjour JRB, désolé de ne vous répondre que maintenant, mais des problèmes personnels m'ont empêchés de le faire avant, mais j'ai été très attentif à lacorrection effectuée par vos soins en début de vacances.

Alors pour les fautes, c'est noté: Le « S » à la troisième personne du singulier, majuscule aux noms de pays, prétérit pour le temps du récit, « to bring » ne nécessite pas de préposition après ce dernier, et surtout je calme mes « aspirations proustiennes » (En français c'est la même chose et donc également valable ! ^^)

Pour les mots tous collés, je ne comprends pas, j'effectue un copier/coller depuis mon logiciel de traitement de texte mais jamais ça ne m'avait fait ça avant ! Et même en corrigeant et en éditant le texte et en le relisant complètement, certains ne veulent se décoller voir certains se collent alors qu'ils ne l'étaient pas auparavant, ah miracles de l'informatique ! Promis je fais de mon mieux !

[Marabou]

Bonjour ! Me revoilà, car c'était les vacances et mon ordinateur était en panne, c'est beau l'informatique ... quand ça fonctionne !

Pourriez-vous me corriger le commentaire ci-après car l'épreuve orale est dans un mois et pas facile de préparer le bac toute seule !

This chapterdescribes both the suffering and happiness of our two young heroes.Thisnovel tells the story of two children forced to leave Nigeria, wheretheir father, a journalist committed to the rights of man is huntedby the police, their mother was murdered, children have left thecountry illegally to England where they will had to find their uncle,but he has mysteriously disappeared! They are thereforebeen collected in a host family and before this chapter, the brotherand sister had their first day of school in England, where they havesuffered from isolation and discrimination against politicalrefugees.This chapter describes boththe suffering and happiness of our two young heroes. Before thischapter, the children learned that their father was arrested bypolice while he tried to enter illegally in England, that he wasimprisoned and that children were going to do with Mama Appiah visither. We'll see in afirst part that the environment of prison is terrifying and hostile,and that frightens children. Then in the second part,we will see that the narrator tells a moving scene: the meeting of children and theirfather that moves the reader.

It is true that in the second part of the chapter,after waiting of children to visit their father, when the childrenarrive at the prison, they discovered a sad and scary environment:the territory of the eyes! Indeed, that oncethey get off the car, they see the barbed wire, very hostile and awall forming a terrifying barrier, we can read: " They stared up ata six-meter-high wire fence topped whithe great loop of barbed wire.Behind the thick poles and the wire, a cluster of targe brown brickbuildings loomed above a tarmac yard". We more understand that itis a prison by the absence of outputs when the author writes: "Everywindow was barred". Then the children and Mrs. Appiah move towardsthe entrance of the prison, to the insurmountable and terrifying gatetoo. It is indeed written: "As theyapproached a metal gate in the fence, there was a currious buzzing".Even his most theatrical opening is scary: " Slowly the gat swungopen as if pulled by some invisible force".But they do not trulyenter into "the territory of sight" at the sight of theguards. We read: " A small square office overlooked the gate and,throug the large plate-glass window, Sade flimpsed three figures inblack and white uniforms. Once again they were entering the territoryof The Eyes". Children see then they are harsch because, it says:"The Eyes continue to refuse. They were polite but the answerremained". Moreover, the guards inspect the privacy of visitors,children live it as an aggression when: "The eyes and The fingersinspected the contents of Mma Appiah's bag".But more than men,visitors are monitored not technology, it is written: "Lookingupwards, she spotted the cameras". Theyplan to arrive in the parlor, but it is not the case, there are stillwalls and fences: "They followed a guard through two further gatesbefore entering a building with a heavily locked door". Thisshows that children arrive in a sad and scary pace and they call theguards: "The Eyes" to denigrate them and keep a distancefrom them.

But now see that the author also tells anemotionally intense scene! Sade stares at thecorridor leading to the parlor to be sure to see her father arrived,we read: "Sade kept her eyes trained on the corridor beyondthe desk. Every time a figure appeared in its distant shadows, herfingernails dug deeper into her palms.". She istroubled when she sees a familiar figure to arrive but she does notrecognize it: "A last, a familiar figure, but lookingstrangely different, cal striding past the desk without even glancingat it. Towards the glass door, towards them. Pap! It was Papa, wasn'tit?". The reader feels a very strong emotion whenthe father opened his arms to welcome his children, it says: "Hepushed the glass aside and, in a great arc, his arms swept up thechildren.". The excitement reaches its climax when the father hugshis children, we can read "Sade felt all stiffness give wayas Papa pressed them to his chest. With Papa's breath in her hair,the tears spurted hotly down her cheeks. They soaked into herfather's shirt as she heard his chocking voice repeat their names.".Femi, Sade's brother, seems still remained silent asif he didn't believe this long-awaited meeting!: "Femi wrinkled hisnose. Sade wondered how her brother had managed to remain dry-eyed.".They have many things to talk about, the need to talk, time to catchup ... : "There was so much to tell Papa. Too much […].". Sade feels compelled to tell her father that shelied about her surname but she can not say without crying, thenarrator says: "Sade began to explain to Papa why she hadgiven a false surname and suddenly, without warning, she was cryingagain.".But it's already the end of the meeting,Sade had impression of not having said all she wanted, it says:Sade hadn't yet asked anything about Mama […] Needed to know. Butthey were being told to go away.".This shows thatthis chapter also tells an incredibly moving scene of reunion!

Toconclude, this chapter is wonderful because it tells a scene ofbeauty and emotion in a stark and scary!

J'espère que les mots ne vont pas être collés !

Merci de votre aide.

Marabou !

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Bonjour ! Me revoilà, car c'était les vacances et mon ordinateur était en panne, c'est beau l'informatique ... quand ça fonctionne !

Pourriez-vous me corriger le commentaire ci-après car l'épreuve orale est dans un mois et pas facile de préparer le bac toute seule !

This chapter describes both the suffering and happiness of our two young heroes. This novel tells the story of two children forced to leave Nigeria, where their father, a journalist committed to the rights of man is hunted by the police. Nouvelle phrase, par pitié. Il te faut prendre le temps de respirer et laisser à tes lecteurs/auditeurs le temps de respirer aussi ! On n'écrit pas "au kilomètre" en anglais ! Mieux vaut privilégier les phrases courtes. Penses-y pour l'amour du ciel !

Their mother was murdered, the children have left the country illegally to England where they will had have to find their uncle, but he who has mysteriously disappeared!

[Marabou]

Bonjour, alors le problème pour les mots collés ça doit venir de la compatibilité moi/site car ce texte était tapé sous un autre traitement de texte et même en éditant et en faisant les espaces après relecture, certains demeurent ! Je ne me vois pas recopier tout le texte à la main sachant que certaines choses copiées directement sont également collées, je fais de mon mieux mais je n'y arrive pas ! :/ Pour les corrections, c'est compris Modal = suivi base verbal + ni trop ni pas assez de "the", je crois savoir quel exercice du bled m'attend ce soir ! - Merci de votre aide.

Marabou !

[Marabou]

Pourriez-vous tout de même corriger mon avant-dernier commentaire pour l'épreuve du bac ?

In this chapter, the twenty-second, entitled "bullies in the Head", the author tells the return of Sade in his family home, where she tasted and tries to get her homework done but she is haunted by her integration problems whom she met during the day. Inaddition, his brother still does not speak, despite the warmth of her family, she feels lonely. We will analyze this excerpt from a novel in three basic dimensions. First the safety and comfortof his family home, then the mention of his difficult integration andfinally, the nostalgia and the torment of the main character of thischapter.

It is true that when she returned home after his school day, she finds solace in her foster family. Indeed, the King family organized everything for it to be happy and comfortable. The mother prepared to him a good cake, in fact, at the beginning of the text can be read:***. We see that the family made efforts, in fact the narrator says"Aunt Gracie tried to get comfortable at home." In addition she takes after her, and tries to talk to get comfortable, because she asks him "How was it at school?". She has a maternal instinct because later inthe story she asked "How was it? Garcia aunt again. Any problems?". In addition, the little girl has support outside ofthe home, because Mama Appiah called him "to find out about theirfirst day at school. " This shows that in the first part of the chapter, the author shows a family welcoming and reassuring for both abandoned children.

Now see the second part dealing with moral difficulties and integration of the girl. She suffers first of solitude can be harder to live than at school like of his brother, he is deadness, it is anordeal for her! Indeed, we read: ****, But the narrator evokes the bullies of the school who leer at first Only both, but then in the canteen with Kevin, the son of her first family who single out and looks at her with a smirk. We see that she is looking for support because she questioned the location of the home of Marcia, her new friend, it says: ***. She seeks to avoid what the author called "a horrible monster"! At the end of the chapter, she still having a nightmare of the two daughters who single out, she felt like a plight.

Finally, the dramatic turn of this chapter takes place just before the end of it. Indeed, the author recounts the nightmare of Sade, it summarizes all the suffering and difficulties of the girl. She mixes everything in her brain and is completely lost. Indeed, in the latter, wefind the two girls who hurt him. But also his father because he lacks is the one who protected her and finally she sees again the trauma ofthe death of his mother.

This shows clearly that thischapter is a mixture of happiness, suffering, unpain and tourmaline. So, it is for me one of the strongest chapters and most interesting of the book, and particularly rich in learning about the difficulties of integration of political refugees.

Merci de votre aide en tout cas, je sens que toutes mes erreurs (J'ai fait une liste sur un post-it sur mon bureau pour y penser !) commencent à rentrer dans ma petite tête ! ^^

Marabou !

[Jean B]

Pour que ces collages de mots se produisent, tu as bien dû modifier quelque chose car, pour autant qu'il m'en souvienne, ce problème n'existait pas au tout début. Alors ?

[Marabou]

Non, je n'ai touché à rien ! Et ça me fait cela un peu moins mais tout de même quand je tape à la main et systématiquement lorsque je copie/colle de n'importe quel logiciel de traitement de texte, c'est le troisième que j'essaye !

[Jean B]

Non, je n'ai touché à rien ! Et ça me fait cela un peu moins mais tout de même quand je tape à la main et systématiquement lorsque je copie/colle de n'importe quel logiciel de traitement de texte, c'est le troisième que j'essaye !

[Marabou]

Non, je n'ai pas Word et il est payant, j'ai essayé sous Open office (La copie libre de Word), Microsoft Works, Atlantis et j'ai même essayé avec le bloc note du Windows ! Mais rien n'y fait !

[Jean B]

Alors, c'est que ton ordinateur est ensorcelé !

[Marabou]

Je vais me mettre au Vaudou ! - Pouvez-vous tout de même corriger le dernier texte que je vous ai soumis ou c'est vraiment trop dur pour vos yeux ?

[Jean B]

Désolé, il avait échappé à mes yeux de lynx...!

Pourriez-vous tout de même corriger mon avant-dernier commentaire pour l'épreuve du bac ?

In this chapter, the twenty-second, entitled "bullies in the Head", the author tells the return of Sade in his family home, where she tasted has an afterschool snack and tries to get her homework done but she is haunted by her integration problems whom which/that she met during the day. In addition, his brother still does not speak, despite the warmth of her family, she feels lonely. We will analyze this excerpt from a novel in three basic dimensions. First the safety and comfort of his family home, then the mention of his difficult integration and finally, the nostalgia and the torment of the main character of thischapter.

It is true that when she returned home after his :angry:school day, she finds solace in her foster family. Indeed, the King family organized everything for it :angry:to be happy and comfortable. The mother prepared to him baked a good cake for her, in fact, at the beginning of the text can be read:***. We see that the family made efforts, in fact the narrator says "Aunt Gracie tried to get comfortable at home." In addition she takes after her, and tries to talk to get comfortable, because she asks him "How was it at school?". She has a maternal instinct because later in the story she asked "How was it? Garcia aunt again. Any problems?". In addition, the little girl has support outside of the home because Mama Appiah called him "to find out about their first day at school. " This shows that in the first part of the chapter, the author shows a family welcoming and reassuring for both abandoned children.

Now see the second part dealing with moral difficulties and integration of the girl. She suffers first of solitude, can be harder to live than at school like of his :angry:brother, he is deadness, ?? it is an ordeal for her! Indeed, we read: ****, But the narrator evokes the bullies of the school who leer at first Only both, but then in the canteen with Kevin, the son of her first family who singles out and looks at her with a smirk. We see that she is looking for support because she questioned the location of the home of Marcia, her new friend, it says: ***. She seeks to avoid what the author called "a horrible monster"! At the end of the chapter, she is still having a nightmare of the two daughters who single out, she felt like a plight.

Finally, the dramatic turn of this chapter takes place just before the end of it. Indeed, the author recounts the nightmare of Sade, it summarizes all the suffering and difficulties of the girl. She mixes everything in her brain and is completely lost. Indeed, in the latter, we find the two girls who hurt him. But also his :angry:father because he lacks she misses him, he is the one who protected her and finally she sees again the trauma of her mother's the death of his mother.

This shows clearly that thischapter is a mixture of happiness, suffering, unpain and tourmaline torment. So, it is for me one of the strongest chapters and most interesting chapters of the book, and particularly rich in learning about the difficulties of integration of political refugees.

Merci de votre aide en tout cas, je sens que toutes mes erreurs (J'ai fait une liste sur un post-it sur mon bureau pour y penser !) commencent à rentrer dans ma petite tête ! ^^

[Marabou]

Euh oui bon bah je crois que le masculin/féminin c'est pas rentré ! Je l'ai écrit il y a un bon mois, je crois qu'avant de vous soumettre le dernier, je vais le relire attentivement !

En tout cas mille mercis, vous m'êtes d'une grande aide !

Marabou !

[Jean B]

Euh oui bon bah je crois que le masculin/féminin c'est pas rentré ! Je l'ai écrit il y a un bon mois, je crois qu'avant de vous soumettre le dernier, je vais le relire attentivement !

[Marabou]

Bonsoir bonsoir ! Me revoilà avec mon Dernier commentaire, rédigé il y a un mois, aucune fautes ne me sautent aux yeux mais il doit y en avoir , puis-je avoir un peu de vos lumières ? (En espérant qu'il y est pas trop de "collés" ! )This chapter marks a turningpoint in the story, children were fled Nigeria after their mother'smurder, they came up with a smuggler, a woman who has abandoned them.They had to find their Uncle Dele in fine arts school, but he hasmysteriously disappeared! They were found in the street by police,placed in temporary foster care and there, they meet a woman who willhelp them at the refugee office. We will see that indeed,this chapter is a turning point in the narrative. Firstly because thechildren meet a new character, then, this meeting evokes memories butendangering their secret and finally, we see that there is a funnyand unusual character but he also endangers their lie, the kids willhave make a choice.

Firstly, this chapter is for Femi and Sade, an encounter with a newwife: Mrs. Appiah. First, Sade was very surprised because she looks alot like Mama Buki, their aunt of Nigeria, she is very elegant andhas a similar attitude to her aunt! Indeed, we read: “The elegantlady at the door reminded Sade so strongly of Mama Buki that she wastaken aback”. It was something in the lady's assured, confidentface.”In addition, African-inspired clothes she wears accentuatesthis impression because it is written: “Her black and green gelewas also wrapped above her broad forehead in Mama Buki's favouritestyle, the corners of the headscarf perched up like the tails of twolittle birds”. She also has another feature in common with thechildren, she is also African indeed Jenny-Iyawo says: “Mrs. Appiahis from Ghana”. In addition, she works exclusively with children inrefugee office, we can think that she knows how to put them at ease.That's what she did afterward, it says she tries to relax and talkthem like their friends, in fact, it says: ***.She also tells them alittle of his past to relax the atmosphere, we can read: ***.Shebehaves like someone in their family because she reassures Sade whenthe little girl crying. It is written: “She felt Mrs Appiah takingher hand”and after “she became aware of how coming Mama Appiah'sarm felt”.She condones be sad and cry, in fact, she said: "Weall need to cry sometimes, cry and let it out”.Moreover, she didnot press to tell their terrible history, she leaves their some time,she said: ***.This shows that children encounter a new character:Mrs. Appiah. She is very kind and compassionate with them.

But now see that this meeting is endangering their secret.Literature for young people often contains a rite of passage, thisexcerpt is one of them ! The little girl is lost and does not knowwhether to tell the truth about their history and their family nameto Mama Appiah. Indeed, the narrator says: "For a while Sade sattongue-tied. Conflicting thoughts raced through her brain.”.She hastrouble making a decision and when she thinks her father will bethere, everything will be easier! Indeed, it is written: ***.Finally, she ended up thinking it is best kept secret, we read:“Until then, it was better that they were Sade and Femi Adewale”.She wants to find Uncle Dele, she is lying to him but giving his realname to find him. It is written: “She gave his name, Dr Solaja, butlet Mama Appiah think that he was Mama's brother”.To not continueto lie and protect their secret, when Mama Appiah their request otherinformation, she remains silent: “When Mama Appiah asked how theyhad entered the country, Sade simply replied that they had come with“a lady”. Mama Appiah didn't press any further”. Well,we see that this chapter is also a decisive passage of the storywhere children have to make a choice to protect their secretthemselves and their father.

But todramatize the difficult situation for children, the narrator tellsthe meeting of these last one with a slightly comic character despitehim! This character they encounter "threedays later" is, I quote: “”Mr Nathan, a “refugeelwyer””.This encounter stress Sade, in fact, we read:“Sade flicked over the pages of a magazine in the small waitingroom, trying to hide her nervousness”. Thisencounter stress Sade, in fact, it says. One may wonder why, becausehe is here to help them, but this stress is caused by therepresentation that she have of him! Thenarrator explains: ***.The narrator explains:But the physical description of the lawyer makes it funny and defusesthe situation. Firstly, it has not the ensured foot of her uncle, infact, he has trouble walking, it says: ***. He doesn't really looklike a lawyer but more like a sailor, it is written: “ Hewas short with a small wind-beaten face that made Sade think of anold sailor rather than a lawyer”. He did not lookvery serious indeed, we read: “A tuft of greying hair hungover his forehead down to his spectacles like a clutch of driedgrass”. Moreover, with his attitude, he seems veryfriendly, the narrator describes it: “He greeted Mama Appiahlike an old friend before turning to the children and inviting themto follow him into his office”. He even seemssweety: “When he smiled, his grey-green eyes seemes to ripple andlight up his face”. He also seems messy, because: “A forest ofbooks surrounded them, stretching from the floor to the ceiling,while files stacked on the carpet rose up like a thick undergrowth”.Then, he speaks more seriously on immigration and identity documents.But this discussion may again endanger their secret, but Sade takethe control of the situation, in fact his brother is silent, we read:“Sade was relieved that Femi let her speak for him. In his “don'tcare” mood he might easily give away their real names”. Atthe end of the scene, they respond only with statements and shortanswers, we see that indeed, this new personage as Mama Appiah arenice but they endanger their secret, the children are determined tokeep at them to bear the consequences in the following chapter, a newchallenging mission.

Merci d'avance pour ces ultimes corrections !

Marabou !