Sujet d'argumentation

[lili33331]

Bonsoir, j'ai un sujet d'argumentation à faire en anglais, je voudrais savoir si mon texte est juste, pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plait ?

Voici le sujet :

SUBJECT 3: To live peacefully, do we have to say « yes » to anything ?

Voici mon travail :

Throughout the ages, people searched for a world of peace. Writers, any century, wrote many literary works with they ideal world. We called these works utopias. But after analysis of these works, we found that these ideal worlds were not without constraints and rules. Everything was not authorized to do. 
So, to live to peacefully, do we have to say « yes » to anything ?

I don’t think so. 

→ First of all, I don’t think that saying « yes » to anything is good. For example if we say yes to anything, it means that there would probably don’t have rules and constraints and obligations… indeed, saying « yes » is not necessarily a good thing because I think that people could be too free and couldn’t reign themself. Of course, some people would be able to use self-control, but everybody are different and some people would probably don’t set limits so it would be a problem. For example, if we say « yes» to anything, people can just don’t want to work so they would be able to do anything. However, if nobody works, life wouldn’t be possible because we need food, healthcare professions, we need people to build our houses…

→ Then, even if everything is authorized to do, people would be unhappy because everybody don’t have the same opinion. Indeed, if we say « yes » to something, we can’t say « yes » to the opposite of this thing. For example, if we say « yes » to delete the hunting, how to pleasure people who are fond of hunting ?
If we say yes to stop killing animals to eat them, some people would disagree with it because they like eating meat.
And if nobody is happy, there would be tensions and maybe violence so of course there wouldn’t a world of peace. 
There are so many exemples of it. It shows us that saying « yes » to anything would be almost impossible because we wouldn’t satisfied everybody!

→ To end up, even if today, we don’t have an ideal world, saying « yes » to anything is not a solution to live peacefully. It’s not possible to say yes to anything. And world need rules and constraints to operate. We can found negotiations and common grounds to restore peace, even if it’s complicated, hard, we have to try, this is the key to successful.

 

Merci d'avance.
 

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

SUBJECT 3: To live peacefully, do we have to say « yes » to anything?

Voici mon travail :

Throughout the ages (1) centuries, people searched for (2)  have tried/attempted/endeavoured to live in a world of peace. Writers any century, (3) have written  many literary works with they (4) their ideal world. We called (5) these works utopias. But after analysis of these works, we found (6) find that these ideal worlds were (7) are not without constraints and rules. Everything was not authorized to do. (8)  We can't do whatever we please/want.
So, to live to peacefully, do we have to say « yes » to anything?

(1) "ages" s'emploie surtout au sens d'âges/époques géologiques.

(2), (3) search for = chercher un objet perdu, pas = chercher à + infinitif  + present perfect pour un passé ayant des prolongements/répercussions au présent.

(4) "they" et "their' n'ont rien à voir l'un avec l'autre ! Relis toi.

(5), (6), (7) Pourquoi le passé ? =>> le présent pour exprimer un état permanent

(8) Le français "traduit" donne rarement satisfaction, la preuve. Il faut oublier le français pour penser et écrire directement en anglais.

I don’t think so. 

→ First of all, I don’t think that saying « yes » to anything is good. For example if we say yes to anything, it means that there would probably don’t have (9) be neither rules and nor constraints and or obligations…(10)  indeed, saying « yes » is not necessarily a good thing because I think that people could be too free and couldn’t reign (11) control themselves. Of course, some people would be able to use self-control, but everybody are different and some people would  probably don’t (12) not set limits so it would be a problem. For example, if we say « yes» to anything, people cannot just don’t (13) want to work so they would be able to do anything. However, if nobody works, life wouldn’t be possible because we need food, healthcare professions, we need people to build our houses…

(9) il y a/avait/aurait = there is/are/was/were/would be, etc. Où l'as-tu jamais vu traduit avec have ? En français bien sûr !

(10) ni...ni...ni = neither...nor...or D'ores et déjà de multiples révisions s'imposent.

(11) Si tu as un bon dictionnaire, apprends à t'en servir intelligemment. La première acception fournie n'est pas forcément la bonne.

(12), (13) En présence d'un auxiliaire, ici les modaux would et can, inutile d'en ajouter un autre. C'est du B.A - BA de la grammaire anglaise !

→ Then, even if everything is people are allowed/authorized to do everything, people they would be unhappy because everynobody don’t have has the same opinion. Indeed, if we say « yes » to something, we can’t say « yes » to the opposite of this thing. For example, if we say « yes » to delete the ban hunting, how to pleasure please people who are fond of hunting ?
If we say yes to stop killing animals to eat them, some people would disagree with it because they like eating meat.
And if nobody is happy, there would be tensions and maybe violence so of course there wouldn’t be a world of peace. 
There are so many exemples of it. It shows us that saying « yes » to anything would be almost impossible because we wouldn’t satisfiedy (14) everybody!

(14), (16) Oh là, là, base verbale après un auxiliaire. Répète le à haute voix, écris le et lis le autant de fois qu'il faudra pour que ça reste gravé dans ta mémoire.

(15) s final au présent simple d'un verbe dont le sujet est au singulier. Tu l'as appris en Sixième mais c'est toujours valable aujourd'hui !

→ To end up, even if today, we don’t have an ideal world, saying « yes » to anything is not a solution to live peacefully. It’s not possible to say yes to anything. And the world needs (15) rules and constraints to operate. We can found find (16) negotiations and common grounds to restore peace, even if it’s complicated, hard, we have to try, this is the key to successful.

Merci d'avance. <>Il n'y a vraiment pas de quoi !

N'attends plus pour faire toutes les révisions nécessaires, tu as du pain sur la planche.