Correction essai, please

[Camoo24]

Bonjour j'aurais besoin d'une correction d'anglais pour un essai à faire s'il vous plaît.

consigne: Are women treated equally in the media?

Mon essai:

Sexual discrimination is a growing cause for concern across the world. Nowadays, even if women's movement is expending, this kind of discrimination is still rife in some domains.

Thus, we may wonder what is the role of media in this kind of discrimination?

 

On the one hand, I guess fighting sexual discrimination currently is high on the agenda. Besides, this discrimation seems to be beyond the pale according to the common opinion given by the current society. Indeed, media tries to show more frequently a respectable image of women by sharing, for instance, speeches of influence women as Michelle Obama. In these speeches, there are a fighting sexual discrimination, or also pep talk for all women who might be watching in order to push them to believe in their capacities and make what they wish, regardless of sexe. This kind of speech promotes the equal treatment between men and women. Besides, if recent films are anything to go by, we should be seeing an improvement of social discrimation thanks to women as headliner. Therefore, media tries to show that women are, as all men, a force to be reckoned with.

 

On the other hand, contrary to what the media tries to promote, there still are inequalities between men and women. Indeed, despite the development of women's movement, women still treat inequally in media. Women continue to be represented in passive and stereotyped roles in film and television. This extends beyond fictional representations. Indeed, women are far more likely to be shown as victims and far more likely to be referred to in terms of their age, physical appearance or family role than men in the news. Women are also less likely to appear in important roles behind the scenes. From the effect of celebrity culture on young women’s and girl's body image, to the stereotyped portrayal of rape survivors, to a chronic under representation of female news subjects, our attitudes are moulded by these media and wider cultural representations of women. Moreover, the leadership of the media and culture industry is still dominated by men.

 

All in all, the image of women given by the media is improving and going to improve thanks to women's movement and responsabilities given to women. Nowadays, despite this improvement the women still treat inequally. Thus, the future role of the media will be keeping the new and better image of women and continue to delete all kind of inequal treatment of women.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Sexual discrimination is a growing cause for concern across the world. Nowadays, even if women's movement is expending, this kind of discrimination is still rife in some domains.

Thus, we may wonder what is the role of media is in this kind of discrimination? << D'une part, "wonder" introduit une question indirecte, ce qui induit une construction de déclarative, pas d'interrogative et d'autre part "what" est ici un relatif, pas un interrogatif.

On the one hand, I guess fighting sexual discrimination currently is high on the agenda. Besides, this discrimation seems to be beyond the pale according to the common opinion given by the current society. Indeed, the media<< c'est un pluriel latin>> tries try to show more frequently a respectable image of women by sharing, for instance, speeches of influence influential women as Michelle Obama. In these speeches, there are a fighting sexual discrimination, or also pep talks for all women who might be watching in order to push them to believe in their capacities and make what they wish, regardless of sexe. This kind of speech promotes the equal treatment between men and women. Besides, if recent films are anything to go by, we should be seeing an improvement of social discrimation thanks to women as headliners. Therefore, xx media tries to show that women are, as all men, a force to be reckoned with.

 

On the other hand, contrary to what the media tries to promote, there are still inequalities between men and women. Indeed, despite the development of women's movement, women still treat inequally in xx media. Women continue to be represented in passive and stereotyped roles in films and on television. This extends beyond fictional representations. Indeed, women are far more likely to be shown as victims and far more likely to be referred to in terms of their age, physical appearance or family role than men in the news. Women are also less likely to appear in important roles behind the scenes. From the effect of celebrity culture on young women’s and girl's body image, to the stereotyped portrayal of rape survivors, to a chronic under representation of female news subjects, our attitudes are moulded by these media and wider cultural representations of women. Moreover, the leadership of the media and culture industry is still dominated by men.

 

All in all, the image of women given by the media is improving and going to improve thanks to women's movement and responsibilities given to women. Nowadays, despite this improvement the women are still treated inequally. Thus, the future role of the media will be keeping the new and better image of women and continue to delete all kind of inequal treatment of women.

 

Comme tu l'auras remarqué, je ne corrige une même faute qu'une seule fois.

[Jean B]

De rien...!