Demande de correction

[meofanny]

Bonjour, je m'appelle Fanny et j'ai un travail à faire pour lundi. Ce sera un oral mais pour ca je dois préparer un texte. La consigne est de faire un texte sur un sujet qu'on souhaite dénoncer ou supporter ( j'ai choisi de défendre l'emprise des médias ) avec l'aide d'un dessin ( c'est pour ca que j'en parle dans ma dernière partie ) . J'ai fais mon texte au mieux, ca m'a prix énormément de temps mais je ne pense pas que toute la syntaxe soit bonne. Par ailleurs, je n'ai pas assez d'arguments pour étayer ma these. Donc si vous pouvez m'aider... Merci d'avance. 

 

Voici mon texte: 

So, today I would like to talk about the media and the influence they have on the public.

First, let me say that they have two categories of media : one is said «  good » and the other «  bad ». Concerning the good influence they have, there are no problems but otherwise, we can address the issue of freedom ( look into the situation )

In my opinion, the media have a place in almost all societies, whether a free or dictatorial country.

Its place is due to the fact that they can be found everywhere namely on TV, on Internet, in newspapers, on radio and so on …

What I am trying to denounce is the control, media have on us. More than an influence, it's them who shape our opinion by directing us towards the opinion they would like us follow.

To do this, their solution is to keep the audience's attention distracted, away from the real social problems, captivated by subjects without real importance.

According to me, it has become a brake on freedom of expression because it is no longer personal but driven by the will of the leaders.

Furthermore, the media adopt a strategy which consists in creating a problem, to arouse a certain reaction of the public, so that the latter is himself an applicant of the measures whom they wish to make him accept

 

It is those these false news, manipulation, disinformation, lies, as well as the propaganda of which we are victims all day long that I wish today to denounce.

 

This drawing gathers my ideas that the media manipulate people. That's why I decided to represent a man, with sophisticated appearance to show that anyone is likely to be the victim of manipulation. Besides, the hands that hide his mouth and his ears are there to show that it is impossible for him to express himself.

 

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Il y a 19 heures, meofanny a dit :

Bonjour, je m'appelle Fanny et j'ai un travail à faire pour lundi. Ce sera un oral mais pour ca je dois préparer un texte. La consigne est de faire un texte sur un sujet qu'on souhaite dénoncer ou supporter ( j'ai choisi de défendre l'emprise des médias ) avec l'aide d'un dessin ( c'est pour ca que j'en parle dans ma dernière partie ) . J'ai fais mon texte au mieux, ca m'a prix énormément de temps mais je ne pense pas que toute la syntaxe soit bonne. Par ailleurs, je n'ai pas assez d'arguments pour étayer ma these. Donc si vous pouvez m'aider... Merci d'avance. 

 

Voici mon texte: 

So, today I would like to talk about the media and the influence they have on the public.

First, let me say that they have there are two categories of media : one is said «  good » and the other «  bad ». Concerning the good influence they have, there are no problems but otherwise we can address the issue of freedom ( look into the situation ) << They have = Ils/Elles ont There is/are = Il y a  - Où donc avais-tu la tête ?

In my opinion, the media have a place in almost all societies, whether a free or dictatorial country.

Its Their place is due to the fact that they can be found everywhere namely on TV, on the Internet, in newspapers, on the radio and so on … << "media" est un pluriel // Étant unique, l'internet est toujours précédé du déterminant "the". 

What I am trying to denounce is the control the media have on us. More than an influence, it's them who that/which shape our opinion by directing us towards the opinion they would like us to follow.

To do this, their solution is to keep the audience's attention distracted, away from the real social problems, captivated by subjects without real importance.

According to me, it has become a brake on freedom of expression because it is no longer personal but driven by the will of the leaders.

Furthermore, the media adopt a strategy which consists in creating a problem to arouse a certain reaction of the public, so that the latter is himself an applicant of the measures whom they wish to make him accept

 

It is those These are false news, manipulation, disinformation, lies, as well as the propaganda of which we are the victims all day long that I wish today to denounce today. << Attention à ne pas calquer le français "C'est + nom pluriel" sur l'anglais, ça <(avec un ç cédille)   ne marche pas.

 

This drawing gathers summarizes << ? my ideas that the media manipulate people. That's why I decided to represent a man with sophisticated appearance to show that anyone is likely to be the victim of manipulation. Besides, the hands that hide his mouth and his ears are there to show that it is impossible for him to express himself.

 

 

 

[meofanny]

Je vous remercie énormément pour votre correction.