Myths and heroes

[Ines...]

Bonsoir tout le monde!

Pouvez-vous me corriger mon oral d'anglais du bac sur Mythes et Héros s'il-vous-plaît? Merci!

Intro: I would like to talk about myths and heroes. First of all, I would like to give a definition of both notions: for me a hero is someone who has done something incredible to defend a value or an idea. He or she is not necessarily strong or brawny but rather intelligent, compassionate and generous. A myth is a real or imaginary story that is ensued from a Greek or Latin legend which is made to explain the mysterious aspects of real life and it often deals with the story of a hero. Some may have factual origins, while others are completely fictional. So we can wonder who can be considered as a hero.  In first place I will talk about a cartoon which represents different kinds of heroes then I would like to talk about a poem: « The hero » by Siegfried SASSOON and finally about NYC firefighters on the eleventh of September.

 

The cartoon “hero?” deals with the topic of what is really a hero (je ne sais vraiment pas comment les mettre dans l’ordre j’ai tout essayé!). We can see a superhero, an athlete and a senior. I think the first one can be defined as a hero because he uses his own powers to save others. Regarding the second one, I think he is definitely not a hero. He does sport for his body and maybe his family will be proud of him but it’s not something that changes people’s lives. The senior have given his entire life maybe to defend his country and that is a big act of bravery, so I consider him as a hero.

 

The second document is a poem which was written by Siegfried SASSOON during the First World War. It gets a handle on the story of Jack’s mother who is reading a letter given by an Officer. She has just learnt the death of her son who was a soldier. She is first at a loss, devastated, but at the same time she is proud of her son. In the second stanza the Officer appears. He lies about Jack. He said he was a “glorious boy” only to comfort his mother. She lives knowing that her son was a good soldier and he lost his life for a good cause. Here the officer feels satisfied because Jack’s mother is proud of her son and because he eases her pain. But in the third and last stanza, the author gives us the officer’s version. We learn that Jack was a coward, an unmanly soldier. He wanted to escape from the war.

In this poem we can see that Jack was not really a hero but it also dehumanizes Jack. He is compared to an animal sent to slaughter and then reduced to “small bits”. It denounces the horror of the war; this poem is pacific, an anti-war poem.

 

The third and last document I have chosen is a recording which handles the topic of firefighters on the eleventh of September two thousand and one. They gave their lives to save people during the terrorist attacks. We heard one of the firefighter’s sister who died into the fire. She feared the unknown, she was heartbroken. She said all was blurry.  

This kind of person can also be considered as a big hero. It didn’t bother them to die for others and that is another kind of bravery.

 

To conclude we can say that a perfect hero doesn’t exist but there are different kinds. He can be an old or a young person, strong or weak in brief he or she must do something out of the ordinary to save or defend values as the senior and the soldiers have done.

Thank you for your listening.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Intro: I would like to talk about myths and heroes. First of all, I would like to give a definition of both notions: for to me a hero is someone who has done something incredible to defend a value or an idea. He or she is not necessarily strong or brawny but rather intelligent, compassionate and generous. A myth is a real or imaginary story that is ensued ensues from a Greek or Latin legend which is made to explain the mysterious aspects of real life and it often deals with the story of a hero. Some may have factual origins, while others are completely fictional. So we can wonder who can be considered as a hero.  In first place First I will talk about a cartoon which represents different various kinds of heroes then I would like to talk about a poem: « The hero » by Siegfried Sassoon and finally about NYC firefighters on the eleventh of September.

 

The cartoon “hero?” deals with the topic of what is really a hero is really (je ne sais vraiment pas comment les mettre dans l’ordre j’ai tout essayé!). << what étant pronom relatif ici, pas interrogatif, l'ordre des mots doit donc être celui d'une déclarative i.e. sujet + verbe + adverbe. We can see a superhero, an athlete and a senior. I think the first one can be defined as a hero because he uses his own powers to save others. Regarding the second one, I think he is definitely not a hero. He does sport for his body and maybe his family will be proud of him but it’s not something that changes people’s lives. The senior have has given his entire life maybe to defend his country and that is a big great act of bravery, so I consider him as a hero.<< Dans l'ignorance du contexte, qu'entends-tu au juste par "senior" ? Ne confondrais-tu pas avec "veteran" ?

 

The second document is a poem which was written by Siegfried Sassoon during the First World War. It gets a handle on the story of Jack’s mother who is reading a letter given by an Officer. She has just learnt the death of her son who was a soldier. She is first at a loss, devastated, but at the same time she is proud of her son. In the second stanza the Officer appears. He lies about Jack. He said he was a “glorious boy” only to comfort his mother. She lives knowing that her son was a good soldier and he lost his life for a good cause. Here the officer feels satisfied because Jack’s mother is proud of her son and because he eases her pain. But in the third and last stanza, the author gives us the officer’s version. We learn that Jack was a coward, an unmanly soldier. He wanted to escape from the war.

In this poem we can see that Jack was not really a hero but it also dehumanizes Jack. He is compared to an animal sent to slaughter and then reduced to “small bits”. It denounces the horror of the war; this poem is pacific, an anti-war poem.

 

The third and last document I have chosen is a recording which handles the topic of firefighters on the eleventh of September two thousand and one. They gave their lives to save people during the terrorist attacks. We heard one of the firefighter’s sister who died into the fire. She feared the unknown, she was heartbroken. She said all was blurry.  

This kind of person can also be considered as a big great hero. It didn’t bother them to die for others and that is another kind of bravery.

 

To conclude we can say that a perfect hero doesn’t exist but there are different various kinds. He can be an old or a young person, strong or weak in brief he or she must do something out of the ordinary to save or defend values as the senior and the soldiers have done.

Thank you for your listening.

 

NB 1 L'anglais "different" a surtout le sens de "différent de/autre". Bien qu'il ne soit pas faux dans le sens de "divers(es)", je lui préfère "various".

2 Pense à réactualiser ton profil et bravo pour ton anglais !

[Ines...]

Bonsoir,

Tout d'abord merci beaucoup pour votre correction. Est-ce mieux ainsi?

 

Intro: I would like to talk about myths and heroes. First of all, I would like to give a definition of both notions: to me a hero is someone who has done something incredible to defend a value or an idea. He or she is not necessarily strong or brawny but rather intelligent, compassionate and generous. A myth is a real or imaginary story that ensues from a Greek or Latin legend which is made to explain the mysterious aspects of real life and it often deals with the story of a hero. Some may have factual origins, while others are completely fictional. So we can wonder who can be considered a hero.  First I will talk about a cartoon which represents various kinds of heroes then I would like to talk about a poem: « The hero » by Siegfried SASSOON and finally about NYC firefighters on the eleventh of September.

 

The cartoon “hero?” deals with the topic of what a hero is really. We can see a superhero, an athlete and a senior. I think the first one can be defined as a hero because he uses his own powers to save others. Regarding the second one, I think he is definitely not a hero. He does sport for his body and maybe his family will be proud of him but it’s not something that changes people’s lives. The senior has given his entire life maybe to defend his country and that is a great act of bravery, so I consider him a hero.

 

The second document is a poem which was written by Siegfried SASSOON during the First World War. It gets a handle on the story of Jack’s mother who is reading a letter given by an Officer. She has just learnt the death of her son who was a soldier. She is first at a loss, devastated, but at the same time she is proud of her son. In the second stanza the Officer appears. He lies about Jack. He said he was a “glorious boy” only to comfort his mother. She lives knowing that her son was a good soldier and he lost his life for a good cause. Here the officer feels satisfied because Jack’s mother is proud of her son and because he eases her pain. But in the third and last stanza, the author gives us the officer’s version. We learn that Jack was a coward, an unmanly soldier. He wanted to escape from the war.

In this poem we can see that Jack was not really a hero but it also dehumanizes Jack. He is compared to an animal sent to slaughter and then reduced to “small bits”. It denounces the horror of the war; this poem is pacific, an anti-war poem.

 

The third and last document I have chosen is a recording which handles the topic of firefighters on the eleventh of September two thousand and one. They gave their lives to save people during the terrorist attacks. We heard one of the firefighter’s sister who died into the fire. She feared the unknown, she was heartbroken. She said all was blurry.  

This kind of person can also be considered a great hero. It didn’t bother them to die for others and that is another kind of bravery.

 

To conclude we can say that a perfect hero doesn’t exist but there are various kinds. He can be an old or a young person, strong or weak in brief he or she must do something out of the ordinary to save or defend values as the senior and the soldiers have done.

Thank you for your listening.

Pour “senior” je voulais dire un gradé, un vieil homme politique. Et merci beaucoup pour toutes vos remarques !

[Jean B]

Tu es gentille de remettre ton texte en ligne mais, sauf rarissime exception, je ne refais pas ce que j'ai déjà fait et bien fait. C'est pourquoi je n'ai même pas relu ta seconde mouture.

Pour remplacer "senior", je te propose "a veteran of politics" ou "an old hand in politics" que l'on peut rendre en français par "un vieux briscard de la politique".

"gradé" ne s'emploie qu'au sens militaire d'officier mais pas au sens d'homme politique.