Oral sur une chanson

[Apprenti]

Bonjour à tous et à toutes , notre professeur d'anglais nous a demandé de présenter notre chanson préféré devant la classe à la rentrée , et j'ai envie de bien faire ce travail donc je souhaiterai savoir si mon texte contient encore des fautes ( ce qui est sûr je suppose , puisque je suis assez bof en anglais :'( ) s'il vous plaît , j'aimerais avoir votre aide , merci beaucoup :p ( Pour les plus curieux la musique est Hurt de Christina Aguilera ) 

Hello guys,

Hope you are fine because i'm doing so great and i'm excited to present you my song.
The song i've chosen is so special to me, a lot of memories passe trough my head and i always have goosebumps when i listen to it.
Well, hold up guys because my song is quit sad , i have my pack of handkerchiefs for those who have a fragile heart

First things first, i would like to introduce to you the singer...At an early age, Aguilera developed a deep love of music. 
.In elementary school, little Chritina step forward for her amazing voice. She participated in many competitions... Her mom had even to take away her from her school because of the disagreement with Chrisitna classmates. At a young age, she had already tatoos and perciengs, she had been the victims of eventual critics but it didn't stop her to thrive. Some others incidents sparked a wave of stories.At the Super Bowl in February 2011, she seemed to forget some of the lyrics to the National Anthem. Not long after, the pop star was arrested for public intoxication. The stories were about her possible alcoholism too. But Thank God she doesn't have any problems like that nowadays. By the spring of 2011, after all those ugly stories, she got back to her feet and became jury at The Voice. Christina Aguilera from her real name Christina Maria Aguilera is an amazing singer and songwritter .She is young, she just had her 36 years last december
She has won many awards, like: five Grammy Awards, and other more.
She is an increbible singer, she is the best for me, Aguilera won the Grammy Award for Best New Artist , won a Latin Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Album and more ,what do you want more than that? And the more impressive ,she received the NRJ Music Award for International Album of the Year which of course contains the song : Hurt.



No the analysis of the song...
Aguilera wrote the lyrics in memory of her father. On radio station WAKS in Cleveland, Ohio, Aguilera said she was sorry because the last musical thing her father heard from her before he passed away was how she hated him for abusing her mother. She never got the chance to say "I'm sorry, I still love you" before he died. The grief caused so much pain that she wrote a song for him telling how she was sorry for blaming him for everything bad that happened in her parents' relationship.


Why did I choose that song and not an other?
This song means a lot to me because it is one of the first english songs i used to listen by myself. 
Before unfortunately I wasn't listening to musics or only in French .
One day , when i was cooking with my grandma ,i was listening to the radio and at the same time this song went on radio. So much that i loved it that i had to find an excuse and go listen to the song on Youtube .
And since that day , i only listen to english musics.
So when mister X told us the Song Project , i felt the duty to talk about this song with you.
This is a song very sad but very touching , we can easily identify to it . There's an old friend of mine who felt too in the arms of this charming song... It's Y. He always tell me that he loves that song as much as i do and sing it everytime . So how could i not love it then?

I thank you Sir X for giving me the opportunity to present my favorite song.
Thank you too guys for listening me with a big respect . :p

[Jean B]

 

Bonjour,

Bonjour à tous et à toutes,

notre professeur d'anglais nous a demandé de présenter notre chanson préférée << accord de l'adjectif devant la classe à la rentrée et j'ai envie de bien faire ce travail donc je souhaiterais << conditionnel savoir si mon texte contient encore des fautes ( ce qui est sûr je suppose puisque je suis assez bof en anglais :'( ) s'il vous plaît, j'aimerais avoir votre aide, merci beaucoup :p ( Pour les plus curieux la musique est Hurt de Christina Aguilera ) 

Hello guys,

Hope you are fine because I'm doing so great and I'm excited to present my song to you.<< Même s'il ne se voit pas à l'oral, le pronom sujet de la 1ère personne du singulier ne s'écrit qu'en MAJUSCULE ! À l'écrit c'est une faute impardonnable. Un appui sur la touche dédiée de ton clavier n'épuisera pas toute ta force musculaire ! Dorénavant, je ne fais que la baliser mais je ne la corrige plus.
The song i've chosen is so special to me, a lot of memories passe trough my head and i always have goosebumps when i listen to it.
Well, hold up on guys because my song is quite sad, i have my pack of handkerchiefs for those who have a fragile heart

First things first, i would like to introduce the singer to you...At an early age, Aguilera developed a deep love of music. 
In elementary school, little Chritina stepped forward for her amazing voice. She participated in many competitions... Her mom had even to take her away from school because of the disagreement with Chrisitna classmates. At a young age, she had already tatoos and perciengs, she had been the victims of eventual criticisms but it didn't stop her to thrive. Some others << adjectif = INVARIABLE // ne prend la marque du pluriel que s'il est pronom incidents sparked a wave of stories. At the Super Bowl in February 2011, she seemed to forget some of the lyrics to the National Anthem. Not long after, the pop star was arrested for public intoxication. The stories were about her possible alcoholism too. But Thank God she doesn't have any problems like that nowadays. By the spring of 2011, after all those ugly stories, she got back to her feet and became jury at The Voice. Christina Aguilera from her real name Christina Maria Aguilera is an amazing singer and songwriter. She is young, she just had her  << Hou là ! turned 36 years last December. << Comment dit-on l'âge ?
She has won many awards like five Grammy Awards and other more.<< Tu emploies la virgule à tort et à travers, notamment devant des mots charnières et c'est incompatible.
She is an incredible singer, she is the best for to me, Aguilera won the Grammy Award for Best New Artist , won a Latin Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Album and more, what do you want more than that else? << George Clooney n'a pas l'exclusivité de cette interrogation  And the more impressive, she received the NRJ Music Award for International Album of the Year which of course contains the song : Hurt.



Now the analysis of the song... << Tu ne te relis donc pas ?
Aguilera wrote the lyrics in memory of her father. On radio station WAKS in Cleveland, Ohio, Aguilera said she was sorry because the last musical thing her father heard from her before he passed away was how she hated him for abusing her mother. She never got the chance to say "I'm sorry, I still love you" before he died. The grief caused so much pain that she wrote a song for him telling how she was sorry for blaming him for everything bad that happened in her parents' relationship.


Why did I choose that song and not another?
This song means a lot to me because it is one of the first English songs i used to listen to by myself. 
Before unfortunately I wasn't listening to musics or only in French .
One day, (when i was) while cooking with my grandma, i was listening to the radio and at the same time when this song went was on radio. << Oublie le français quand tu écris en anglais ! So much that i loved it that i had to find an excuse and go listen to the song on Youtube .
And since that day, i have only listened to English musics. << Revois les règles d'emploi du present perfect, c'est primordial.
So when mister X told us the Song Project, i felt the duty bound to talk about this song with you.
This is a song << Aïe, aïe, aïe ! very sad but very touching song, we can easily identify to it . There's an old friend of mine who felt too in the arms of also was spellbound by this charming song...<< D'une langue à l'autre, le mot à mot fonctionne rarement.  It's Y. He always tells  me / He keeps telling me / that he loves that song as much as i do and sings  it every all the time. So how could i not love it then?

I thank you Sir X for giving me the opportunity to present my favorite song.
Thank you too guys for listening to me with a big great respect . :p

Ponctuation : tout comme en français (pour une fois), le point et la virgule se placent sans espace derrière le dernier mot, l'espace se met après. J'ai rectifié partout mais mémorise le.

[Apprenti]

Merci beaucoup pour votre correction , j'ai appris pas mal de chose , merci ! 

Cependant j'ai encore quelques questions , dans la 2 ème partie du texte , vers la fin : It's Y. He always tell me that he loves that song as much as i do and sing it everytime . So how could i not love it then?

Ce ne serait pas plus tôt : He always tells ? 

J'avais hésité pendant l'écriture du texte , et comme j'ai vu qu'il n'y avait aucune faute dans la 2 ème partie du texte , j'ai pensé que vous n'auriez pas vu cette 2 ème partie . Qu'en est t'il ? Nous disons bien he always tell alors ? Merci beaucoup pour vos futurs explications !  

[Apprenti]

Je viens de voir vos modifications , c'est bon merci   

[Jean B]

il y a 47 minutes, Apprenti a dit :

Merci beaucoup pour votre correction , j'ai appris pas mal de chose , merci ! 

Cependant j'ai encore quelques questions , dans la 2 ème partie du texte , vers la fin : It's Y. He always tell me that he loves that song as much as i do and sing it everytime . So how could i not love it then?

Ce ne serait pas plus tôt : He always tells ? << Bien sûr mais tu as sûrement besoin de lunettes ! Sinon fais un zoom sur ma correction.

J'avais hésité pendant l'écriture du texte , et comme j'ai vu qu'il n'y avait aucune faute dans la 2 ème partie du texte , j'ai pensé que vous n'auriez pas vu cette 2 ème partie . Qu'en est t'il ? Nous disons bien he always tell alors ? Merci beaucoup pour vos futurs explications !  << J'hallucine là !

 

[Apprenti]

Quand j'ai écrit mon dernier poste  cette partie du texte n'était pas encore corrigée   Donc non je n'ai pas besoin de lunettes , merci  

[Jean B]

il y a 47 minutes, Apprenti a dit :

Quand j'ai écrit mon dernier poste  cette partie du texte n'était pas encore corrigée   << C'est vrai qu'il peut parfois m'arriver de taper malencontreusement et prématurément sur la touche Envoi, nobody's perfect! Je rectifie  en éditant mon message aussi vite que possible mais tu as sans doute été plus rapide entretemps. Donc non je n'ai pas besoin de lunettes , merci << Tant mieux pour toi !