Demande de correction

[lora123456]

Bonjour, j'aurais besoin de votre aide pour corriger mes fautes en anglais svp :

Among the most famous Inuit myths is the legend of the sea goddess, Sedna. The legend of how Sedna became  is told throughout the Arctic. The story varies from one region to the next. However, in all versions, a young woman becomes the mother of all sea creatures.

Sedna was a very pretty girl. Sedna was vain, she spent her days to brush her pretty brown hair. She was desired by many men who wish to marry her.

As she was very demanding, she always refused their advances. One day his father declared that the next man who presented himself to take the hand of his daughter would get it. Sedna had no choice

The next day a richly dressed hunting man presented himself, and married Sedna. So she left with this man becoming her husband, on an island where he lived. Shortly afterwards, it turned out that this hunter was a living shaman most of the time under the appearance of a bird

Sedna was very unhappy and spent her time crying. Her father heard her and decided to go and get her. One day, while the shaman was gone, Sedna's father took his kayak and went to get it back. When the shaman was back and he noticed his wife's absence, he entered a terrible rage and started a gigantic storm on the ocean.

Sedna and her father were still aboard their kayaks and were caught in this terrible storm. The father immediately understood what was happening, and threw his daughter out of the boat to escape this shaman.

Her daughter tried to get involved in the kayak but in vain, her father struck with her paddle on her daughter's fingers, and the girl's fingers broke and fell into the water, they became the fish of the ocean . Sedna let herself sink into this icy water where she transformed herself into a pretty sea-deze.

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

Te spécialiserais-tu dans l'étude des mythologies du monde ?

Il y a 18 heures, lora123456 a dit :

Bonjour, j'aurais besoin de votre aide pour corriger mes fautes en anglais svp :

Among the most famous Inuit myths there is the legend of the sea goddess Sedna. The legend of how Sedna became was born / created is told throughout the Arctic. The story varies from one region to the next. However, in all versions, a young woman becomes the mother of all sea creatures.

Sedna was a very pretty girl. Sedna She was vain superficial/shallow, she spent her days to brush brushing her pretty brown hair. She was desired by many men who wished to marry her. << Il faut respecter la concordance des temps. Pour une fois, ça fonctionne comme en français.

As she was very demanding, she always refused their advances. One day his her father declared that the next man who presented himself to take the hand of ask for his daughter's hand would get be given it. Sedna had no choice. << L'adjectif possessif DOIT être accordé en genre avec le POSSESSEUR // Pour autant que je sache, dans la plupart des civilisations le prétendant vient demander la main de sa future épouse à ses parents qui décident ou non de la lui accorder.

The next day a richly dressed hunting man sealer << chasseur de phoques presented himself turned up / appeared and married Sedna. So she left with this man becoming who became her husband and she followed him on an island where he lived. Shortly afterwards, it turned out that this hunter was a living shaman most of the time under the appearance of a bird.

Sedna was very unhappy and spent her time crying. Her father heard her and decided to go and get her. One day, while the shaman was gone away, Sedna's father took his kayak and went to get it  her back. <<Encore une fois, il y a 3 pronoms de la 3ème personne du singulier et aucun des 3 ne s'emploie au pif !  When the shaman was back and he noticed his wife's absence, he entered flew into a terrible rage and started a gigantic storm on the ocean.

Sedna and her father were still aboard their kayaks and were caught in this terrible storm. The father immediately understood what was happening and threw his daughter out of the boat to escape this shaman. <<Pas de virgule devant "and" puisque c'est un connecteur.

Her daughter tried to get involved in grab hold of the kayak but in vain, her father struck on her daughter's fingers with her  his paddle and the girl's fingers broke and fell into the water, they became the fish of the ocean. Sedna let herself sink into this icy water where she transformed herself into a pretty sea-deze. << C'est quoi ?

Sans plus tarder, fais toutes les révisions de grammaire qui s'imposent, ces lacunes sont anormales, qui plus est en classe de première.

[lora123456]

merci beaucoup pour toute les correction