Rédaction Vacance

[redhead]

Bonjour,pour la rentrée j'ai une rédaction à faire en utilisant le prétérit.Je voudrais savoir si I'll y a des fautes ainsi que certains mots à traduire.Merci Beaucoup d'avance de m'aider!!

Last december,during the holidays I did a lot of things with my family.The first week i played video games with my sister and my mother.It was very funny. I was very busy doing my homework because it was a week of chrismas and (il y a moins de chose à faire alors que) the second week I was very occupied for the new year. We decided me and my family of celebreated chrismas together.I received clothes,money,(bijoux,parfum)... Me and my sister received a lot of présents. Three day after it was my birthday,four friends came to my home with présents for celebreated my birthday.I said (blague) and I talked with girls.They slept at home and they left the morning.It was a very good birthday.The second week,my family and me went to Starsbourg for celebreated the new year.I saw my (cousin,cousines) and my uncle and my aumt. My mother received présents of my family of Strasbourg but she gave présents too. I played with my (cousine),Célia.I was very happy the new year was very beautiful and I was sad because (le lendemain) we had to return to the house.When the afternoon arrived,we left.The last week-end,I finished my homework,I (sortie) with my parents,I cleaned my bedroom. So I was ready for school.

Merci Beaucoup de m'aider et désolée si il y a des fautes de frappe!!

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

S'il n'y avait que des fautes de frappe...!

De toute évidence, ton texte a été "traduit" du français par un automate quelconque qui a reproduit fidèlement toutes tes fautes de grammaire. C'est une pratique stérile qui t'empêchera de faire le moindre progrès.

Comme je refuse de passer pour un pigeon, je refuse de travailler sur un texte issu d'un logiciel parfaitement stupide.

Par contre, si tu soumets un travail personnel, je le corrigerai volontiers.

Rappels utiles :

- les mois de l'année prennent une majuscule.

- le pronom sujet 1ère personne singulier ne s'écrit qu'avec la majuscule I.

- majuscule au nom propre Christmas

- le dictionnaire s'utilise toutes les fois qu'un mot est ignoré.

- My family and I decided... La politesse exige qu'on se nomme en second (ou en dernier) et on emploie le pronom sujet.

- il n'y a pas d'accents écrits en anglais.

- pour/afin de + infinitif = to/in order to + base verbale

À te lire.

[redhead]

Dèsolée de te vexer mais je ne suis pas aller sur un logiciel de traduction,je suis en troisième normal que je fasse de fautes!! et désolée pour les fautes de frappe,j'étais sur mon portable lors de l'écriture et je pense avoir respectée le prétérit!!

[Jean B]

Dèsolée de te vexer mais je ne suis pas aller sur un logiciel de traduction,je suis en troisième normal que je fasse de fautes!! et désolée pour les fautes de frappe,j'étais sur mon portable lors de l'écriture et je pense avoir respectée le prétérit!!

[redhead]

Ok voilà ma correction ; )

Last December,during the holidays I did a lot of things with my family.The first week I played video games with my sister and my mother.It was very funny. I was very busy doing my homework because it was a week of Christmas and there is less things to make the second week I was very occupied for the new year. We decided my family and I of celebreated Christmas together.I received clothes,money,jewel,perfume... my sister and I received a lot of présents. Three day after it was my birthday,four friends came to my home with présents for celebreated my birthday.I said a joke and I talked with girls.They slept in my home and they left the morning.It was a very good birthday.The second week,my family and I went to Starsbourg for celebreated the new year.I saw my cousins and my uncle and my aumt. My mother received présents of my family of Strasbourg but she gave présents too. I played with my cousin,Célia.I was very happy the new year was very beautiful and I was sad because the next day we had to return to the house.When the afternoon arrived,we left.The last week-end,I finished my homework,I went out with my parents,I cleaned my bedroom. So I was ready for school.

Voila,J'espère que c'est mieux ; )

[Jean B]

Last December,during the holidays I did a lot of things with my family.The first week I played video games with my sister and my mother.It was very funny. I was very busy doing my homework because it was a week of Christmas week <le nom composé est préférable and there is were <there is/are/was/were s'emploie selon le nombre du nom, soit singulier, soit pluriel. Tu l'as appris en sixième. less things to make do during the second week < Sauf exceptions, make sth a le sens de faire/fabriquer qqch I was very occupied busy < Sers-toi du dictionnaire, il ne te mordra pas ! for the new year. We decided my family and I of celebreated to celebrate < À quoi peuvent bien servir mes rappels si tu te contentes de faire un copié-collé de ta première mouture ? Les as-tu seulement lus ? Les as-tu sauvegardés ? Christmas together.I received clothes, money, jewel, perfume... My sister and I received a lot of présents. <Est-ce que je m'exprime mal en français ?Three days < 3, c'est un pluriel, non ? Ne te relis-tu donc pas ? after later it was my birthday,four friends came to my home with présents < Encore ! for celebreated < my birthday.I said a joke and I talked with girls.They slept in my home and they left in the morning.It was a very good birthday.The second week,my family and I went to Starsbourg for celebreated < the new year.I saw my cousins and my uncle and my aumt. My mother received présents of from my family of Strasbourg but she gave présents < too. I played with my cousin,Célia.I was very happy the new year was very beautiful nice/pleasant and I was sad because the next day we had to return to the house home.When the afternoon arrived,we left.The last week-end,I finished my homework,I went out with my parents,I cleaned my bedroom. So I was ready for school.

"Peut mieux faire".