5 réponses à ce sujet

[Loopy]

Bonjour à tous !

J'ai écrit un texte en anglais que je dois rendre demain. Mais j'ai quelques difficultés avec mon texte car il traite du thème de l'art. Il y a donc quelques mots et structures de phrases difficiles.
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes svp ?
Je vous en serais très reconnaissant.

Merci d'avance !

Voici mon texte:




This picture is painted by Salvador Dalí, it dates from 1940 and is the period of Surrealism. Surrealism is an artistic movement that develops in the inter-war and all the tables characterizing the aim to reflect on the unconscious and dreams. After his release, in this work aroused great interest among the Surrealists. Dalí, who was born in 1904 and died in 1989, is one of the most distinctive artists of surrealism. Throughout his life, he became interested in science: in the 30's, he became interested in optics, in the 40's, quantum physics and cosmology is passionate, and math and logarithmic spirals fascinated in the 50's.
In the foreground we have a mestizo servant leaning on a table. On this table, there is the foot of a chipped cup. In the background, there are several female figures dressed in black and white, they are surrounded by slaves who mingle with the color of sand. Then finally, on top of these characters and through the arch in ruins, we see a part of heaven. Now, the bottom side, these elements are contained within a single plan: the foot is chipped the base of the bust, the female characters are transformed into the face of Voltaire and finally the sky as his skull. If you have a good imagination, you can actually see the face of Voltaire in this table.
Salvador Dali used the face of Voltaire to denounce slavery as Voltaire was an ardent opponent of slavery, Voltaire was for human rights.
To the left of the women in black and white, we see a slave on his knees, raising his hands to heaven to implore women to report their freedom. It is thin, his clothes are worn. The position of his body and his facial expression shows that it is in distress, he will not be sold, he will not leave his family, his friends and his country.

[JRB]

Bonjour,

Pour que son titre soit à peu près explicite, j'ai renommé ton message. En effet, "Aidez-moi" ne renseigne pas sur le contenu, penses-y à l'avenir.
Par ailleurs, pense également à te montrer plus prévoyant, car poster ta demande un dimanche pour le lendemain est quasiment de l'ordre de "mission impossible".

Loopy, le 22 janvier 2012 - 12:02, dit :

This picture is was painted by Salvador Dalí,

Il ne t'a quand même pas échappé qu'il l'a peint de son vivant et qu'il est mort depuis un certain temps, si ?

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it dates from 1940 and is the period of Surrealism. Surrealism is an artistic movement that develops developed in the interwar years and all the tables characterizing the aim to reflect on the unconscious and dreams.

-action terminée, datée, coupée du présent =>> prétérit
- la seconde partie de la phrase est bancale quelque part.

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After his release,

À qui ou quoi cet adjectif possessif se rapporte-t-il ? Mystère ! Peut-être as-tu voulu dire After it was released, this work...?

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in this work aroused great interest among the Surrealists. Dalí, who was born in 1904 and died in 1989, is one of the most distinctive artists of surrealism. Throughout his life, he became was interested/took an interest/ in science: in the 30's, he became interested in optics, in the 40's he had a passion for quantum physics and cosmology is passionate, and math and logarithmic spirals fascinated in the 50's.

Donne-toi toujours la peine de chercher dans le dictionnaire toutes les fois que tu ignores un mot ou une expression, le dictionnaire est fait pour ça.

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In the foreground we have can see a mestizo servant leaning on a table. On this table, there is the foot of a chipped cup. In the background, there are several female figures dressed in black and white, they are surrounded by slaves who mingle with the color of sand. Then finally, on top of these characters and through the arch in ruins, we can see a part of heaven. Now, the bottom side, these elements are contained within a single plan shot: the foot is chipped the base of the bust,

<???Quel est le rapport entre ces 2 éléments ?

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the female characters are transformed into the face of Voltaire and finally the sky as his skull.

Alors ça, c'est le comble. Si tu en es encore à confondre " à ", préposition avec " a ", avoir et que tu soumets ça à la moulinette d'un traducteur automatique, tu obtiens forcément cette sorte de monstruosité. Conseil d'ami : évite les traducteurs automatiques comme la peste et fais plutôt travailler ton intelligence.

Citation

If you have a good imagination, you can actually see the face of Voltaire in this table.
Salvador Dali used the face of Voltaire to denounce slavery as Voltaire was an ardent opponent of slavery, Voltaire was for human rights.
To the left of the women in black and white, we can see a slave on his knees, raising his hands to heaven to implore women to report their freedom. It is thin, his clothes are worn. The position of his body and his facial expression shows that it is in distress, he will not be sold, he will not leave his family, his friends and his country.

Aurais-tu oublié qu'il y a 3 pronoms sujet à la 3e personne singulier ? Serais-tu un peu tête-en-l'air ? Rectifie donc !
Bonnes corrections des erreurs que je t'ai juste signalées et bonne continuation.

[Loopy]

Merci beaucoup JRB ! Je vais rectifier mes fautes tout de suite !

[Loopy]

C'est mieux là ?

Maintenant, oui ! (ultimes corrections apportées en direct)
N'essaye pas d'aller plus vite que l'ombre de Lucky Luke mais sois plus attentif à ce que tu écris et tout ira bien.

This picture was painted by Salvador Dalí, it dates from 1940 and is the period of Surrealism. Surrealism is an artistic movement that developed in the interwar years and all these tables are intended to reflect on the unconscious and dreams. After it was released, this work aroused great interest among the Surrealists. Dalí, who was born in 1904 and died in 1989, is one of the most distinctive artists of surrealism. Throughout his life, he was took an interest in science: in the 30's, he became interested in optics, in the 40's, he had a passion for quantum physics and cosmology, and maths and logarithmic spirals fascinated him in the 50's.
In the foreground we can see a mestizo servant leaning on a table. On this table, there is the foot stem of a chipped cup. In the background, there are several female figures dressed in black and white, they are surrounded by slaves who mingle with the color of sand. Then finally, on top of these characters and through the arch in ruins, we can see a part of heaven. Now, the bottom side, these elements are contained within a single shot: the foot chipped stem becomes the base of the bust, the female characters are transformed turned into the face of Voltaire and finally the sky formed his skull. If you have a good imagination, you can actually see the face of Voltaire in this table.
Salvador Dali used the face of Voltaire to denounce slavery as Voltaire was an ardent opponent of slavery, Voltaire was for human rights.
To the left of the women in black and white, we can see a slave on his knees, raising his hands to heaven to implore women to report their freedom. He is thin, his clothes are worn. The position of his body and his facial expression show that he is in distress, he doesn't want to be sold, he doesn't want to leave his family, his friends and his country.

[Loopy]

Merci beaucoup pour cette correction apportée en direct !
Mille mercis au correcteur !

[JRB]

Loopy, le 22 janvier 2012 - 17:51, dit :

Mille mercis au correcteur !

Un seul suffit à mon bonheur.