3 réponses à ce sujet

[malibuumango]

Good Afternoon, Could you check my cover letter carefully please ?


"Dear Sir,

During the conference about Heriot-Watt University I could realise this one is a really good opportunity for any student who hopes to study abroad. Indeed, that University offers a large variety of higher education such as a BSc in chemistry which interests me. Moreover, Heriot-Watt University is a great challenge for me as it is world-renowned. Thereby I will work extremely hard to improve my language proficiency and take advantage of the academic challenges which will are presented to me.
Because of this I apply for a place at the University of Heriot-Watt.

I am a very open-minded person and I am convinced that I will know to accommodate myself to this new environment very quickly. Furthermore, thanks to my first year of University Institutes of Technology I know now that my place is in a laboratory. This is the reason why I want carry on with my studies in chemistry.

In addition, it gets quite clear that Scotland has its own culture, identity, way of life and origin which are totally different from the European culture. Hence, this continuation of study will allow me to understand the complexity of that country which is at once dynamic and authentic.
All in all Scotland will be a great opportunity to develop my personality, get in contact with many interesting people and experience the life down under."

Thank You.

[JRB]

Bonjour,

malibuumango, le 08 janvier 2012 - 11:46, dit :

"Dear Sir,

Comme la plupart des britanniques, les écossais sont gens pragmatiques, c’est pourquoi je commencerais par dire que je souhaite m’inscrire dans cette université. Cela me paraît logique mais ce n’est que mon avis.

Citation

During the conference lecture about on Heriot-Watt University I could realise this one is that attending courses there would be a really good opportunity for any student who hopes to study abroad.

Même si tu meurs d’envie d’y aller étudier, c’est encore le domaine de l’inaccompli, de l’irréel, d’où le conditionnel. Même chose par ailleurs.

Citation

Indeed, that University offers a large variety of higher education such as a BSc degree in chemistry which interests me. Moreover, Heriot-Watt University is would be a great challenge for me as it is world-renowned. Thereby I will would work extremely hard to improve my language proficiency and take advantage of the academic challenges which will are presented to me.
Because of this I wish to apply for a place register at the University of Heriot-Watt because…

Selon ma remarque du début, je commencerais par cette phrase que je ferais suivre par la première. Ainsi, tu respecterais une certaine logique, y compris de construction.

Citation

I am a very open-minded person and I am convinced that I will would know how to accommodate myself adapt to this new environment very quickly.

Calque du français, à éviter.

Citation

Furthermore, thanks to after completing my first year studies of at the University Institute of Technology I know by now that my place is in a laboratory. This is the reason why I want to carry on with my studies in chemistry.

In addition, it gets quite clear that Scotland has its own culture, identity, way of life and origin which are totally different from the European <--???   culture.

Ôte-moi d’un doute : l’Écosse n'est-elle pas en Europe ?

Citation

Hence, this continuation of study furthering my education there will would allow me to understand the complexity of that country which is at once / both dynamic and authentic.
All in all Scotland will would be a great opportunity to develop my personality, get in contact with many interesting people and experience the life down under there."

Nous, européens, n'employons down under que pour évoquer l’Australie et la Nouvelle Zélande.
Pour l’Écosse, on pourrait dire “up there”, mais je le déconseille car c’est d’un registre de langue trop familier pour ce type de lettre.
Bonne chance pour ton futur séjour en Calédonie.

[malibuumango]

Thanks for all !

[JRB]

You're welcome.